So I wandered back to the beach.
Mauve was exactly where I’d left her, sitting on the towel with her elbows on her knees. She was leaning her head against her hands in a wistful way, watching a guy around thirty and a toddler girl about the age of my triplet sisters. The guy, who was probably the father, was showing the little girl how to dig in the sand with a plastic shovel. Mauve was so absorbed in watching that she didn’t notice me until I plopped down on the hot sand beside her. When she lifted her face, I was stunned to see tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Mauve, what’s wrong?” I asked in concern. “Why are you crying?”
She wiped her eyes. “I’m not. Just something in my eye.”
“Yeah — tears.”
“Forget it,” she said sharply. “I’m fine.”
“No, you aren’t. Did something happen with Alonzo?”
“No. We’re cool.”
“So why are you crying alone on the beach? And you had the oddest expression while you watched them.” I pointed as the little girl giggled when her father shoveled sand over her toes. “Do you know them?”
“No.” She sounded angry now. “And stop acting like you don’t know what’s going on. We talked about this when you saw the picture. I appreciate your support, but I warned you never to bring it up again. You’re just trying to get me to talk about it, and I already told you I’m not going to.”
Hmmm, this was getting interesting. Unfortunately, I hadn’t seen any picture so I had no clue what was going on.
“I read this book once, called Talk Therapy, that said how it was healthy to talk about problems. You can hide them from others but not from yourself — that was some of the advice.”
“Self-help books suck. And since when do you read books that don’t have half-naked men on the cover?” She brushed sand off her towel, turning her back on me. “Go away, Rayah. Hang out with your brother if you’re bored.”
“Eli is visiting his friends.”
“So find Sadie. She’ll talk about anything.”
“Except for the problems she’s trying to hide,” I said.
“Don’t compare me with her,” Mauve warned. “My issues aren’t anything like Sadie’s. I’m not a klepto.”
“You know about her stealing?” I blew out a heavy sigh.
“Hel-lo? I’m the one who warned you Sadie had stolen your ATM card and that you better switch all your money to another bank.”
I thought of the cash in my purse, finally understanding. Sharayah wasn’t carrying all that cash for any nefarious reasons. She meant to put it into a new account in a different bank — only I’d interrupted by taking over her body.
“—and never leave your purse around when Sadie comes to our room,” Mauve added. “She can’t help herself if she sees jewelry, credit cards or cash. She’s my friend and all, but she’s a thief. At least she’s been better since she got arrested—”
“Arrested!” My hand flew to my mouth and I tasted sand. Yuck.
“Shhsh! Not so loud,” Mauve cautioned, looking around nervously. “We promised not to tell anyone as long as Sadie continues with her therapy. But she’s missing her session this week, so I’m worried about a relapse. We have to watch her carefully. Have you seen her take anything?”
I nodded. “A rhinestone watch.”
“Damn.” Mauve scowled. “When did this happen?”
“Yesterday.”
“And you’re just now telling me?” Mauve gave me a disgusted look. “You promised to let me know right away so I could prevent anything serious from happening.”
I stared at her, marveling at this new side of Mauve. It was almost like she had a heart. “You really do care about Sadie, don’t you?”
“She’s my friend.” Mauve shrugged. “And you are, too, even though you can be a total bitch sometimes.”
“Me?” I gasped.
“You never talk about your past, but sometimes it’s like you’re on self-destruct. I can’t always be there to pick up the pieces — although I try. You have to be responsible. Guys are fun, but they don’t stick around when you need them.”
“Not all guys,” I pointed out. “Eli … I mean, my brother, is the loyal type.”
“Your brother’s too young for me,” she said wryly.
But not for me, I thought.
“What about Alonzo?” I asked Mauve, trying to understand. “Things seem to be progressing nicely with him.”
“When spring break is over, so are we — if we last that long. He was pissed when I didn’t want to dance, so he’s probably already gone on to some other girl. I know better than to expect anything from him. We girls have to watch each others’ backs — guys just want to have fun with no responsibilities.”
Her tone hinted at a betrayal so deep an X-ray would probably show scaring across her heart. And when her gaze strayed back to the father and daughter, I wondered if she had issues with her own father. Except it wasn’t the man she was staring at — it was the little girl. A suspicion came to me. But I couldn’t just come out and ask her something so personal — especially something I was supposed to already know. How was I going to find out?
“That little girl is cute,” I said carefully. “She’s about the age of my … um … the little triplet sisters of this girl I know.”
“Triplets! I can’t imagine carrying three babies at once. The mother must have horrible stretch marks.”
“She had a C-section, and was on bed rest for months.”
“What a nightmare. I’d never want to go through that.”
And just the way she said it, I knew her secret without Grammy, Sharayah or even the GEM telling me.
“Mauve, can you show me the picture again?” I asked softly. “Of your daughter.”
* * *
You never really know people, even when they stay in their own body.
Mauve had seemed all bitchy and irresponsible, but that was only the outside. Inside, she loved so much that when a guy broke her heart and left her pregnant, she gave up the baby to an adoptive family who needed to give love as much as the baby needed to be loved.
When Mauve showed me the picture of herself holding a baby, I could have cried. The baby was two years old now and named Jenna, and Mauve’s only contact was a picture in the mail every year on Jenna’s birthday. In a private way, Mauve was a genuine heroine and I respected her, maybe even liked her. I had less respect for Sadie — who’d seemed so fun and nice when we’d first met, but couldn’t be trusted.
For the first time since living in a college-aged body, my soul caught up in experience. I felt even older than Sharayah. Things that seemed important a week ago — making welcome baskets to give to new students at school, achieving a 4.0 average and trying not to show how uncool I really was despite all the self-help books — seemed unimportant. When I was me again, I’d look the same, but inside I’d be forever changed.
My emotions were still raw a few hours later, when Sadie, Mauve and I met up at the crappo condo. None of us had planned to meet, but here we all were. Together again, pretending that nothing had changed.
“I’m so over Warren,” Sadie insisted as she rifled through her suitcase until she found a jade-green tube dress. “Let’s have a girls’ night out at Club Revolution.”
“I’m in,” Mauve said as she tried to figure out the latch on the fold-out bed. “And I’m going to wear my sexiest dress tonight so that when Alonzo sees me, he’ll regret going off with that tramp in the pink bikini.”
“At least Alonzo isn’t in jail,” Sadie said sadly.
“Better him than you,” Mauve said with a meaningful look. “Did you take care of things?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sadie retorted, all wide-eyed and innocent.
“You know exactly what I mean.” Mauve narrowed her eyes. “Did you?”