“I promise. No ulterior motives. None. It can even be just you and my sister if you want. I just know that along with Lara’s dog, the horses help her a lot. Since her counseling and having the animals, you’d never know she has an anxiety problem.”
“I can’t believe anyone in your family has a problem with anxiety. You all seem so confident and sure of yourselves.”
“Everyone has problems. Some of them just aren’t visible.”
“Thank you for your help, but …”
“You think I’m here because I want something.”
My gaze meets his and I nod.
“I won’t lie. You’re very pretty. Beautiful. I would love to take you out on a date. However, my parents taught me to respect women, so if you tell me you’re not interested -.”
“I’m not interested.”
The silence between us was deafening and seemed to last forever until he finally spoke.
“Alright. I’ll settle for just being your friend, then, if that’s okay.”
I look at him. The wariness I feel toward him must have shown on my face because his next words caught at my throat.
“I know you don’t know me. You have no reason to trust me, but I like you and if friendship is all you have to offer, then I’ll accept that.” He extended his hand toward me. Hesitantly I extended my own and we shake. “Friends?”
I barely tilt my head in a nod, before speaking.
“I won’t ever give you more than that. I can’t.”
“Then friendship is all I will ever expect.” He gets up and I stand with him. “If you want to come over to the house tomorrow, my sister will be there, and I’ll have Bossed Around ready for you to ride. She’s a gentle Tennessee Walking Horse and I think you’ll enjoy riding her.”
“Will you be coming too?”
“Only if I’m invited,” he smiles. “My sister tells me you girls like to have your girl-time, so I’ll leave that up to you.”
I smile at him.
“Thank you, Matt.”
He tips his hat at me and his smile widens, his dimples making him look disarmingly handsome. I watch him descend the steps and climb into his truck.
After he leaves, I feel a loss inside. I like him. He seems to be a really nice guy. But then I check myself. I can never let my guard down. Not again. Not even for a handsome cowboy with good manners.
The last time I trusted a good-looking man, it almost cost me my life.
Matt
“Well?” Ava ran out the door as soon as I got out of the truck.
“Well what?”
“Did you see her?”
“Yes.”
“And is she okay?”
“She’s fine.”
“Did you ask her out?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Ava!” My exasperation with my little sister and her bullets of questions was growing by the minute. I take a deep breath. “I don’t think she’s interested.”
“Why not?”
I look at her.
“Look, you may be my brother, but even I can see you’re a handsome guy, plus you’re really nice. Don’t let that go to your head,” she lightly punches me in the side. “If you ever tell anyone I said that I’ll deny, deny, deny.”
I can’t help but laugh at her dramatics.
“Seriously though, you don’t think she’s interested in you?”
“I don’t think she’s interested in anyone right now other than having a friend and that’s what I intend to be to her. A friend.”
Ava nods her head at me.
“That’s cool.” She walks in lockstep with me as we head to the barn. “Why do you think she’s not interested?”
I shrug my shoulders.
“Maybe she just got burned by an ex-boyfriend. I don’t know.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
I stop and look at her.
“What do you mean, what am I going to do about it?”
“I mean it’s obvious that you like her. You’re not a quitter. What are you going to do about getting her to go out with you?”
“I’m not.”
“Are you serious?”
I take Ava by the shoulders and look her in the eyes.
“I’m going to be her friend.”
“Right. You’re going to do the friend to boyfriend route.”
I take a deep breath and sigh it out as I look toward heaven for patience.
“No. That’s not what I said. Faith doesn’t want a boyfriend, but she will need friends. I’m going to be one of those friends to her. I don’t know what caused her to be so anxious, but I’m going to do what I can to help her. I hope you will too.”
“Me? I’m the first person to make her my friend. I tried to call many times, but her mom said she wouldn’t take the call!”
“That’s why I went over there. So, I could talk to her in person.”
“So, you’ll just be her friend?”
“Yep.”
“Does that mean I’ll have to worry about Amanda being a sister-in-law again?”
“Nope.”
I try and keep from laughing as I watch Ava breathe out a sigh of relief.
“What is it about Amanda that you don’t like? She’s a nice person.”
“It’s not that I don’t like her. Not really. I just don’t like her with you. I think she wants to be Mrs. Matthew Brooks for the wrong reasons.”
“And what might those be?”
“Money. The ranch. Everything that goes with that.”
Now it’s my turn to sigh.
“You don’t think she might just like me for me?”
“I didn’t say that either,” she plops down on a chair, hanging one leg over the arm. “I just have this feeling about some people and with Amanda, I think if another good-looking guy came around who had more money and social standing, she’d leave you for him like yesterday’s news.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.”
I’m not sure I can disagree with Ava’s assessment of Amanda. I had that feeling about Amanda myself, which is why I broke it off with her a few weeks ago. I just didn’t have the feelings for her you should have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
“Are you mad at me?”
“For telling me what you think? Never!”
“Good! So, how are we going to get our new friend out of her shell?”
I smile.
“We’ll start inviting her to go out with us whenever we all go out. You can start by taking her riding with you tomorrow.”
“And will you be coming too?”
“Not unless she wants me to.”
Ava digests that piece of information before commenting, “Which horse?”
“Bossed Around.”
“Good choice.”
“I thought so.”
“Okay. Riding it is. We’ll take this slow and bring her into the group. We’ll fix whatever broke her.”
“I hope so. She deserves a good life. Everyone does.”
Faith
“Come on, Faith! You can do it!”
I look down at the crystal-clear water rushing around the banks, knowing the temperature is freezing but not wanting to disappoint my new friends.
True to his word, over the last three months, Matt offered only friendship. He kept his distance and brought me into his circle of friends which included his sister, Ava who only had eyes for her boyfriend, Caleb.
Sometimes when I watch Ava and Caleb, I ache for the kind of relationship they enjoy and I will never have. My heart used to believe in those kinds of bonds and I know from watching my parents what is possible between a man and a woman.