In some ways I wish I’d lived here my entire life. My life is good.
“It was,” I admit, still smiling as I remember the last scene.
“Why can’t real life be like the movies,” she sighs. “Guys like that don’t exist in real life.”
She must have noticed my surprise look because she immediately grabbed my arm and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I love Caleb. He’s a great boyfriend and he’ll be a wonderful husband and father. But come on, when do you ever get a guy who acts so perfectly as the guy in the movie we just saw? I mean he never had a wrong move!”
I nod my head, trying not to think about how perfect Daniel seemed at first. Just like the guy in the movie.
“I have to agree with you,” I smile, mentally shaking off the memory. “Filmmakers know how to make us have unrealistic expectations of the male species.”
We continue walking silently when she suddenly stops and purposefully steers me in another direction.
“Ugh,” she rolls her eyes.
“What?” I look around to see who she’s hiding us from. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she murmurs. “We can go back toward the car now. They’ve headed into the movie theater.”
“Who?”
“Matt.”
“Why are we hiding from your brother?”
“It’s not so much Matt as Matt when he’s with HER.”
“Who?”
“Amanda.”
I feel like I have a boulder lodged in my throat.
“Matt’s with Amanda?”
My heart starts to beat wildly in my chest and I’m feeling a bit nauseous.
“They’re dating?” I ask. I suddenly have this crushing feeling in my chest and not sure why. At least I don’t want to admit why.
“Yes,” Ava confirms. “For the last four weeks. I can’t take it. He said they were done and he had no interest in rekindling that flame.”
“I had no idea,” I whisper to myself, then realize I hadn’t seen much of him over the last four weeks. At least not as much as I was used to. “You make it sound like they’re serious.”
“Amanda has always wanted Matt,” she makes a face. “Ever since we were in Middle School she’s had her eye on him. And she’s made no secret about that fact either. I guess she finally wore Matt down. For a while I hoped…”
My left eyebrow raises as I look at her, scrutinizing her face.
“You hoped…”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Sure, it does.”
She takes a deep breath and looks me squarely in the eye.
“For a while I hoped you and Matt ... I thought he was interested, but since nothing ever happened I guess I was wrong.”
“You weren’t wrong,” I admit. “I let him know when we first moved here I wasn’t interested in him that way and only wanted to be friends. He’s respected that.”
“So, the two of you have been hanging out for the last year and a half and … nothing? Not even a peck?”
I shake my head no.
“He told me he was good with the two of us just being friends. And he’s stayed true to his word. We are friends,” I smile, swallowing down that lump in my throat. “Matt’s my best friend.”
Ava nods her head and we start walking towards her car.
“So why aren’t you interested in my brother?” she asks as she slows her pace and we’re stopped in the middle of the theatre parking lot.
“Excuse me?”
“It’s obvious to everyone around that he’s fallen for you. He’s good looking, smart, nice and loaded. So why don’t you want to be more than friends with him?”
I swallow. Ava is getting a little too interested in my past with these questions and my reasons for not wanting to get romantically involved with her brother.
“I had a bad breakup before we moved here,” I half lie-half tell the truth. “I’m not ready to get involved in another relationship right now.”
Or ever.
I watch that information wash over Ava for several seconds before she speaks again.
“So, it’s not that you’re not interested in Matt. It’s that you’re not interested in Matt right now.”
“Ava,” I try and slow that train down before it runs away. “To be honest, I may never be interested in going down that road again.”
She looks at me.
“It was a really bad breakup.”
She continues to stare at me.
“I’m not interested in dating Matt or anyone else.”
“That’s not what your face said when I told you Matt and Amanda were dating.”
“What?”
“Your face,” she smirked. “It fell. A lot. When I told you Matt and Amanda started dating four weeks ago you looked as though you’d swallowed a cow.”
She picked up the pace of her steps as we walked toward her car. My heart skipped a beat and then began beating frantically. The pit of my stomach felt as though it had a rock in it.
“That’s okay. You’re just not ready … yet. But one day you will be. I refuse to be stuck with Amanda Horner as my sister-in-law for the rest of my life. No.”
I fasten my pace to keep up with her.
“Ava,” I stand outside the car where she’s already jumped in, fastened her seat belt and started the engine.
“Are you getting in?” she asks, tapping the steering wheel.
Begrudgingly I step inside and fasten my seat belt. My stomach is twisted into a pretzel.
“I don’t feel well,” I say.
“I bet. I think your feelings for my brother are stronger than you’re willing to admit to yourself. We just need to keep Matt from giving up on you.”
“Matt’s given up on me?” This thought made my stomach hurt more than when I realized he was dating Amanda again.
Ava stopped the car that had just begun to leave the parking space.
“Not yet,” she sighs. “But he’s not going to wait forever, Faith. Sooner or later he’s going to meet someone who wants to make a life with him and he’s going to move on. Whether that’s with Amanda or someone else.”
I never realized how much the thought of Matt not being in my life anymore would disturb me, or how the thought of him being with someone else could make my heart ache so much.
I look out the window thinking on Ava’s words as she starts to pull out of the parking lot again and decide to call my therapist first thing in the morning.
I’ve got some work to do before it’s too late.
Matt
“I love you, Matt,” Amanda tells me as I drop her off at the front door. She leans up and presses her lips against mine.
I know she expects me to tell her I love her back. We’ve been seeing each other again for the last month, but the words won’t come. I am in love, but it’s not with Amanda. I’m in love with Faith Deveroux. My heart belongs to her and only her.
I feel guilty for asking Amanda out again, knowing how she feels about me and how I feel about Faith. It’s not fair to her. But at the same time, Faith has made it very clear to me that she doesn’t have any feelings for me aside from friendship.
“But you’re in love with someone else,” she smiles.
My gaze meets hers and I try to gauge if she’s angry. She’s not.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I should have never started up something with you again.”
“Does she know?”
I nod. “I’m sure she does.”
“Have you told her?”