Nothing like this in Oklahoma. Where the hell am I?
In a shitpot full of trouble is exactly where he was. In the distance, he heard someone knocking politely on the farmhouse door, while someone else-the buffalo-headed Cuban probably-rattled the dead bolt, trying to get into the barn.
Convinced the doors were locked, the man put his lips to the crack and said, “My little friend, I have frightened you. I have come to apologize, my new little friend.”
Buffalo-head.
Will had never met anyone so goddamn dumb. He raised his voice to be heard. “We’re friends? Are you serious?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t believe you.”
“My head has stopped bleeding. It is nothing. Look for yourself.”
“Then say it. Say you promise.”
“Open this door, you little-” The Cuban caught himself. “Yes, I promise!”
“Okay. If you mean it, I’ll come out. But I have to use the bathroom. Just a couple of minutes, to take a crap. Please.”
“Of course! We were stupid, not providing a place for you to crap. Relax and enjoy, my spirited new friend.”
Truth was, Will did have to crap. And he was also so thirsty, he was shaking. But first…
He looked around. Will knew barns. Didn’t matter how fancy, they all had at least two entrances aside from the sliding doors, and usually a loft door to pulley in hay. He ran to the opposite doors and confirmed they were locked, then sprinted to the manager’s office when he heard a noise coming from there. Got to that door just as Buffalo-head was turning the knob.
“Hey, I’m taking a dump in here! How about some privacy!”
The idiot hesitated just long enough for Will to flip the spring lock, then step back.
Close!
Buffalo-head tried the knob, getting frustrated. “You don’t trust me! You are not the only one who needs to use the toilet. Do you mind?”
“Two minutes, it’s all yours.” Will’s eyes were adjusting to the dark. There was a phone on the manager’s desk. An old phone, with a dial. As he dialed 911, he said to the door, “How is your ear?,” wanting Buffalo-head to keep talking.
“My ear? Perhaps you will find my ear in the toilet with your shit! But… of course, I am joking! I am not angry. I feel almost no pain, I swear. Barely noticeable, thanks to God, because of the pounding in my head. The rock you threw… it did me a great favor!”
Will had dialed but too fast, because he got a recording.
Damn old phone.
He dialed again, listening to Buffalo-head say, “What is an ear? Or a bump on the head? We will laugh about this someday!”
Then he heard the Cuban with metal eyes coming, calling, “You idiot! Don’t you see what the brat is doing?”
The phone was ringing.
“The junction box,” the man yelled, “it’s right there. There… in front of your eyes.”
The phone rang a second time.
There was a thud on the other side of the wall, then the sound of wire and staples ripping, as a woman’s voice said, “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”
Will cupped his hands around the phone. “I need help. Two men are trying to kill me. Two Cubans. But I don’t know where I am! My name is William Chaser. I’m from… Oklahoma.” He’d almost said Minnesota but remembered the police.
The big Cuban began ramming his shoulder against the door as Will waited for the woman to respond.
Silence.
“Hello? You hear me? I need help!”
The phone was dead.
Now the older Cuban was telling Buffalo-head, “Find a brick. Knock the lock off. Hurry, before the man gets here. We’ll look like fools!”
Gets here? What man? Someone was coming to help the Cubans.
Will began ransacking drawers, looking for a weapon. Every office, in every barn, on every ranch he’d ever worked, the manager kept a handgun in the top-right drawer for quick access-a revolver if it was an older guy and a semiauto if he was younger. Plus a Winchester rifle in the corner or over the door. A shotgun at least.
Not this ranch.
Eastern shitheels… Who runs this place? The candy-asses should be raising sheep.
Will was getting mad. Could feel the heat of it, like a chemical moving from his temples to his heart. One of the drawers spilled out. He slammed it against the door where the Cubans were now hammering at the lock. Pulled out another drawer and threw it.
He yelled, “Come on in, you assholes! I’ll blow your damn heads off!” He was looking for something else to throw and found a lead paperweight.
Will screamed, “What’s the matter, afraid?” He threw the paperweight at the door. It made a whap sound, like a hammer smacking wood. “I’ll open the damn door myself!” Said it knowing, even as he spoke, it was a mistake. He was mad, not crazy. No way in hell was he going out that door.
Never make a threat that’ll get your ass kicked or prove you’re a pussy- Old Man Guttersen on the subject of how a man should conduct himself in life.
On the far wall, Will saw the breaker box for the barn’s electric. Beneath it was the medicine cooler, padlock open. Even eastern ranchers had to know horse doctoring. Will had been working with vets since he was seven years old.
The boy rushed to the cooler, hoping to find a weapon-a scalpel or razor, anything sharp-then paused, listening. The banging had stopped. No whisper of voices outside.
He decided the Cubans were probably waiting quietly for him to exit. A stupid thing, telling them he had a gun and was coming out.
A few seconds passed, still no sound. He continued listening, as he opened the medicine cooler and scanned the rows of familiar veterinarian supplies: liniments, vitamins, bottles of vaccine and tranquilizers, wrapping tape, syringes…
As he scanned the rows of supplies, the period of extended quiet caused him to wonder, Maybe the Cubans ran for cover, afraid of being shot.
Possible.
Three or four minutes later, when the men still hadn’t resumed breaking into the barn, Will was sure of it. Maybe it wasn’t so dumb telling them I have a gun.
Old Man Guttersen was wrong for once.
So now he had to find a way to make the lie work for him. He needed a weapon. Give those candy-ass kidnappers a reason to be afraid of him.
His attention returned to the medicine cooler. And there it was. Not a weapon, exactly, but something that might do the job.
Will knew that the kidnappers would soon come back to the barn with a crowbar maybe… or use keys when the man they were waiting for arrived.
Their partner-whoever that was-worried Will, as if things weren’t already worrisome enough. Which is why the boy had kept busy until now.
After he’d flipped the main breaker, killing the lights, Will had watched the metal-eyed Cuban talking on a cell phone, standing by the farmhouse, its windows still bright. He couldn’t hear what the man was saying. But he could feel it, sort of. More like a taste or smell. Metal-eyes was talking to someone who was coming to help them. Self-assured, his posture upright.
How was it the two Cubans had a friend out here in horse country, the middle of nowhere? Unless… unless-Will’s brain was now inspecting different scenarios-unless the Cubans had pulled off the road because this ranch was their destination. Had nothing to do with Will screwing with the taillights, then kicking like a crazy fool. The Cubans had turned because they were meeting someone here. Possible?
Whatever…
The Cubans were coming for him, that’s all that mattered. Will knew it as sure as he knew Buffalo-head was watching the back of the barn while Metal-eyes was in front, talking on the phone.
No escape, not yet. Nothing he could do until it happened. So Will had focused on getting ready, which meant choosing the best damn horse he could find. To which he gave some thought, carrying a bag he’d taken from the medicine cooler, moving from stall to stall.