“Are you going to call it anything? I mean, it’s like gunna be a show at a museum & shit?”
Not bad — the actor in him did a pretty good job too of not seeming too anxious you know like if Jerzy offered him a bowl, cool, but if not, that’d be cool too, which like it wouldn’t because Rikki would probably fucking club Jerzy to death with whatever was at hand. But Jerzy had the pipe & bowl in hand; shit was looking up.
“‘Bad News Bears.’ No, I’m kidding. Daydream Believers. I’m kidding I’m kidding. Do you know what a ‘captcha’ is?” Rikki shook his head. “It’s when you go online and there’s like a word & maybe numbers in a box written in wavy letters? And before they give you access you have to type in what you think the numbers & letters are? They call that a captcha. It’s how they can tell you’re human & not a computer.” Rikki didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. “It’s how they separate the hummingbirds from the mantis. So right now that’s what I’m calling it, ‘Captcha.’ And I’m calling myself Squeegee. ‘Captcha by Squeegee.’”
“Cool.”
“So do you want to smoke some of this?”
. .
“Can you listen?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll get down some more after you listen.”
“I’ll listen. I’m listening.”
“You have to want to listen.”
“But I do, dude. I do.”
“This is about the number 3. Are you ready for this?”
Rikki nods.
Then:
“3. . is the only number with abeginning, middle & end.”
Rikki let it sink in. Jerzy watches it sink into Rikki.
“I’m going to give you a triad. Know what a triad is?”
Rikki shook his head.
“It’s a group or set of 3 connected people or things.”
Rikki was already so far out there whoa why would I need why do I even need to why would I want to get more out there yes I need to get more more more out there I do—
“OK. All I’m going to do is give you one triad. 1 set of 3.”
“OK.”
“Then we’ll get down with the KJ.”
“Okay.”
“I got a hundred roxies.”
“For real?”
“For real-real. For really-real real.”
“You’re the bomb.”
“We cn get stardusted.”
“Uh I don’t know I don’t think so.”
“I’m going to give you a triad. But you need to be ready.”
“I am. I am. I’m ready.”
“I’m just going to say it.”
“I’m listening.”
“Here it is: Iovine, Mathers, Jay-Z.”
“What?”
“Say it.”
“You trippin dude you trippin.”
“Say it.”
“Man this is — shit — you—”
“Say it. Iovine, Mathers, Jay-Z.”
“Iovine, Mathers, Jay-Z. But dude you trippin—––”
“Jay-Z is Hov. Say it.”
“Dude I just want to smoke.”
“Jay-Z is Hov. Say it.”
“Jay-Z is Hov.”
“Hov = Jehovah. Jay-hov-uh.”
“Jay-hov-uh.”
“Jehovah = YAHWEH.”
“YAHWEH?”
“That’s a triad. That’s all you need to know.”
“All right. All right. I’m down, dude. I’m down. I’m down.”
“Take the pipe.”
fuck dude thank you. (Smokes/coughs. Crazy/smokes. Crazy) o dude thank you o shit dude it/s good. thank you. all that shit is for real heavy all your art too man dude shit thank you. i fuckin LOVE this shit hey hey hey dude, go for a ride let’s just drive or whatever you want to do what do you need man what do you need I fuckin LOVE this shit if you want me to do like I’m not like that but if you want me to do whatever to you to make you feel good, to keep the bowls cummin that/s cool i don/t do that shit for real but i/d do for you for real to whatever because all this shit is for real serious thank you i O! SHIT! dude, let’s go for a ride! let/s go back to britney/s cmon dude! but we don/t have to, we don/t have to but if we don/t can you like take me down the hill? can you maybe like take me down the hill in the morning or tonight or whenever? cause i forgot to get maxipads for ree she said to get maxipads she’s leaking pee dude let/s smoke can we just another bowl
CLEAN [Michael]
Cancer Awareness
It
was early in the game, but he had that old feeling, the feeling that things were coming together.
He was at Ago with Heather Morris, the screenwriter Steve Kloves and the dancer Benjamin Millepied. Ben’s wife sent her regrets; home with a sick baby.
Though he still planned to write the script himself (he was working on it in his trailer between Treasure scenes), talking it out with Steve was invaluable — the man, as they say, not only knew his shit but remembered where he put it. They first got to know each other on the set of Wonder Boys and had loosely kept in touch. Through the years, Michael’s family made it a tradition to have supper with Steve and Jo whenever Harry Potter had its UK premières.
He knew Benjamin’s work long before Black Swan. Michael and Catherine were fans back when he was a soloist at the City Ballet. When they finally met, Ben shared that he’d performed in a Jerry Robbins piece. Michael was a friend of Jerry’s and realized he must have seen the kid dance sometime in ’95. It was fun to introduce him to Heather. She was sweetly nervous, and the dancer put her at ease. He told her that he and Natalie loved Glee (and especially her). Ben did his YouTube homework too; he was genuinely impressed by HeMo’s hip hop dance videos.
Benjamin got a call from his wife and left a bit early. Through a faraway window, Michael and his guests saw the explosion of flashes coinciding with Ben’s exit. They even heard shouts, no doubt of the “Where’s Natalie! Where’s your wife!” variety. Heather was the next to go, and went alone as well. Michael wanted to keep his project under wraps & didn’t want them to be photographed together.
. .
Whenever she left a restaurant, there were always professional autograph seekers begging her to sign all sorts of Brittany/HeMo glossies, posters, and promotional items. When she started getting famous, other