— It’s kind of like Inception.
— No, you can’t instant it, it’s only on DVD.
— O bullshit. Really?
— No, look — see?
— I totally watched that on my phone last week. Totally!!!
— Can someone tell me what the fuck a Blu-ray is?!?!
— I didn’t like Inception. I hate that girl Natalie Portman.
— Oh my God, you are so stoned.
— That’s not Natalie Portman! It was the girl who played the pregnant girl—
— from Canada?
— Juno. .
— I loved that movie! What’s her name?
— Ellen! Ellen Page.
— Look — she’s from Halifax. Nova Scotia.
— Can I see?
— Oooh she’s pretty.
— I want to be from Nova Scotia, I love Nova Scotia—
— Oh my God, she’s like twenty-five.
— Really? I can’t believe she’s so old!
— It says 1987. February 21.
— That’s my brother’s birthday!
— She looks so young. She’s one of those women who will look exactly the same until they’re, like, seventy.
— Natalie Portman! ReeRee is fucked up. You saw Juno, didn’t you, Ree?
— She gets pregnant while she’s in high school?
— Um, gee, doesn’t that sound familiar?
— But she’s really responsible about it. I mean it’s so not Teen Mom. She is so not psycho white trash!
— What about Laurence Fishburne’s daughter?
— Why does he call himself Laurence? It should be Larry, right?
— It’s like he wants to be all English. Like Dr. House.
— Dr. House is not English.
— He totally is. The guy who plays him? Oh my God, he is so English!
— Tallyho.
— Tally ho’s!!!
— Would anybody care for a spot of tea?
— Sir Laurence Fishburne would love a spot of tea!
— Sir Laurence of Arabia Fishburne.
— Sir Lawrence of a Labia.
— That is disgusting!
— My little brother said that to me. I don’t even think he knew what it meant!
— Why doesn’t he just call himself Larry.
— Because Larry smells like ass. Movie stars do not name themselves Larry.
— Right?
— I can’t think of any. I can’t think. I can’t. Of any. Oh my god I am so stoned.
— Larry Fishburne’s daughter! What were you going to say!
— She’s a pornstar.
— Yeah, that’s old.
— Wazzup witt huh?
— Yeah! Tell us wazzup with huh!
— I was listening to huh on Shade. & she’s like promoting huh porno, whatever. Huh real name’s Montana but huh porn name be Chippy D.
— Whoa. It’s like a Ben & Jerry’s. Schweddy balls…
— Chocolate fudge brownie—
— Banana split—schweddy clit…..
— Boston CREAM pie!
— Muddddd sliiiiiiiiiiide!
— That’s a good pornstar name! Mudslide.
— It’s quite evocative, as the English say.
— She should just call herself Larry!
— Have you seen her movies?
— Rikki has. On his iphone. I told him I don’t want to see that shit. I do not want to see Chippy D chomping on a dick!
— Didn’t she go crazy?
— I think she went to a mental hospital but they said she was faking it. She tried to kill herself?
— I feel sorry for her.
— Feel sorry for her dad!
— Can you imagine how fucked up it must be for him? I mean, your daughter’s supposed to be going off to college, but she decides to stay home & major in dick-riding!
— O! I mean, anywhere he shows his face, someone’s gunna — people are like snickering. .
— She said on this show — on Eminem’s show — that her dad would one day see, like, her Big Plan, & they would totally mend their relationship.
— Whatever. I really feel sorry for her. He must have had to totally have done some shit in her upbringing for her to be doing that shit she does tho.
— Like molesting?
— No. I mean he could have. Don’t all dads molest their daughters?
— That’s gross.
— But he doesn’t seem the type. & she probably would have been talking about that already, bitch so crazy. I’m just sayin he must have done something. I’m jus sayin.
— She’s jus sayin.
— Maybe he didn’t. Sometimes you can be a really good parent and your kid winds up shooting kids at school or whatever.
— Oh my god, Reeyonna, what if your kid does that? That would be so weird!
— I’m just gunna do my best to be a loving mom—
— We could give it a list of who to shoot.
— Ooh hoo! You better hope he doesn’t columbine—
— All I know is, I don’t want to put any pressure on the baby. And I don’t want him to have expectations.
— Him? Is it a boy? Are you going to have a boy?
— I don’t want him or her to have expectations!
— Expectations about what? Girl, you cray-zee.
— You Jay-Z.
— She doesn’t want to know. She told the doctor and nurses not to tell her like what the gender would be.
— I could never do that. I would totally need to know!
— Well if it’s a girl, don’t name her Montana.
— Hahahahahahahahahahah—
— AHAHAHAHAHAHA—
— hahahahahahahahahahaha—
— So she was on the Shade.
— That’s Eminem’s channel?—
— And she’s telling em porn is like a stepping stone in her career. You know, like it was for Paris and Kim.
— Did you see the Kim tape?
— No but now I want to.
— Did you know he’s Brandy’s little brother?
— Who is.
— Ray J Ray J Ray J Ray J.
— Gimme some of that, Swisher Queen.
— Lissen to her! She thinks she’s Kreayshawn, but you just a basic bitch!
— Girl, I’m a bad bitch. I’m fag swag.
— Fag swag HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
— The guy in the tape with Kim.
— He’s an asshole. Didn’t he leak that to the internet?
— He leaked a lot.
— Hahahahahahahahaha!
— He leaked it all over.
— And Chippy D. . she talks about Sasha Grey too—
— OMG Sasha Grey is such a slut!
— Montana talks about her like she’s Meryl Streep!
— Montana is just dumb. She looks like a donkey.
— That’s mean.
— Sasha Grey is nasty. Rikki showed me a gangbang tape she did — I got totally traumatized just watching it! There was like this whole roomful of guys in line to fuck her in her butt! & nobody was wearing a condom.