“I won’t. I just need to think. I’m just — I just came home & you dropped this on me.”
“I’m REALLY REALLY SORRY! — ”
“No! — I’m really glad you did, I’m happy that you did. I’m really glad you told me. OK, Jerilynn? Did you hear that? Can you hear that? I am very, very glad. Tho I wished you’d told me sooner——”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“You don’t have to have it. You can have an abortion after TWELVE weeks. A friend of mine’s daughter had hers at FIFTEEN—. . . ”
“I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MY BABY!!!!! WHY DID I EVER TELL YOU WHY DID I EVEN EVER TELL YOU I SHOULDN’T HAVE TOLD YOU—————!!!!!!!”
“All right. Calm down. Calm down now. Let’s just take — let’s take — let’s take some time here. OK? Can we do that, Jerilynn? Let’s breathe. Can you stop crying & go wash your face? I should have known you were pregnant. The acne… and you lost your hips… stand straight. Lift your shirt——”
“No!”
“What is the matter with me? The throwing up in the mornings… I thought you were bulimic—I feel like such an ass.”
“I’m sorry—”
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. & would you please stop saying you’re sorry? Can you just STOP?”
“I’m SORRY! I’m SORRY, I will.”
“——just let me just think. Let me just sit & gather my thoughts. Can you do that? Can you go wash your face and let me gather my thoughts? Because — there needs — we need, we’ll need to… oy. Oy yoy YOY. Oy yoy yoy yoy YOY. The school. . we have to——”
“Can we go out for dinner?”
“Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea. Let’s go out for dinner.”
“Can we go to Du-par’s for pancakes?”
“Yes. We can go to Du-par’s.”
“Thanks.”
“Thank you. For talking about — for telling me, for talking to me. I really commend you for that. I really do, Jerilynn.”
“Thanks. .”
“Let’s go to Taylor’s — the steakhouse. Do you want to go to Taylor’s?”
“Can’t we go to Du-par’s?”
“You can’t get good steak at Du-par’s.”
“OK.”
“Dinner’ll be expensive, but so what. You’re eating for two.”
“Maybe three,” she said savagely. “Maybe it’s twins!”
“Jerilynn, don’t even—nice to see you laugh anyway. I’ll get there in a minute. Or maybe a day. Or a week. To laughing. O boy. O well. Well well well well well. Go wash your face & we’ll go.”
“K.”
[Reeyonna EXITS. A beat, then, Jacquie calls after]
“Jeri? Have you seen my Klonopins, do you know what happened to my Klonopins?”
“No but I’ll look!”
[sotto, to Self]
“I cannot find my Klonopins. & I really fucking need them.”
CLEAN [Reeyonna & Rikki]
Pregnant 
“My
mom’s going to call. Did she call them yet?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“She said she was going to call.”
“For what.”
“I guess it’s a Meet the Parents moment.”
“Yeah. Okay. .”
“So have they said anything to you?”
“About what?”
“About the baby. How are they dealing?”
“My mom won’t come out of her room.”
“Wow, really?”
“Yeah, she cries.”
“Bummer.”
“Yeah. .”
“You sound fucked up. Are you like, totally fucked up?”
“No. Just some weed. Why.”
“You just sound fucked up.”
“I’m good. Are you?”
“Not really.”
“Yeah. .”
“Are you watching porn?”
“No.”
“You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying.”
“I don’t care if you watch porn.”
“Then why do you ask? If you don’t care why do you ask me if I’m watching it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m horny.”
“Maybe you just like being in my business.”
Pause.
“I just think. . the sooner we move out the better. But I’m going to wait a week. Before. A week before.”
“Wait for what.”
“To ask.”
CLEAN [Telma]
We Don’t Need Another Hero
Of
all the stars with cancer that Telma reached out to in her campaign to join the cast of Glee, Michael Douglas was the biggest, and the first responder. Another one she heard back from right away was Grant Achatz, the famous chef; he had tongue cancer too. The doctors wanted to cut out the jaw and the tongue but Grant said no because he didn’t want to lose his tastebuds. Grant got chemo and radiation instead. He said the lining of his esophagus shed like a snake & part of the getting-well ritual was peeling the lining out of his throat like smelly clingy cellophane while he choked & vomited. Now, that’s a hero. She liked Grant, & she liked Christina Applegate, & she liked Will Reiser, & she liked the guy from Dexter, & any one of them could have gotten her on the Glee set. But Michael was the only one she had shared her aspirations with.
At night, she read his letter over and over (he handwrote it the same as Telma had, & her mom thought that was such a wonderful way of showing solidarity), wondering when he was going to call to ask her to tea. She already knew what she was going to wear. Her mom said, be patient.
It was Saturday, and she was doing her usual weekend tour at St Ambrose (pediatric oncology, or, as Telma liked to call it, ped-OINK! OINK! OINK!), going from bed to bed with Sir Vivor, her three-legged English terrier that she got at the shelter, & Bunny, the real-life floppy-eared cocker spaniel that was the official ward mascot, putting kids (& parents) at ease. Telma knew how to make the frightened children laugh, settle their moms’ & dads’ nerves, instill hope. Showing everyone how to pull the courage trigger. She loved her weekend warriorship.
The Bertram & Bonnie Brainard Family Center for Pediatrics was hers: she owned it. But Telma didn’t define or limit herself by ped-oink alone — she had toured/ombudsgirl’d through them alclass="underline" The Rick & Tina Caruso Family Research & Critical Care, AEG Extended Care (clinical outpatient), The Stewart and Lynda Resnick Pavilion (neuropsychiatric), the Verizon Towers (imaging center), & Twitter House (extended residence for families with kancerkidz undergoing treatment)—& most weekends could be found crisscrossing & cross-pollinating the sprawling campus, faithfully fulfilling her duties exercising authority, not only as the Wizard of Brainard, but the mayor of St Ambrose & all its environs. The cafeteria staff plied her with frozen yogurt; elderly volunteers thrust flowers into her tiny hands; there was even a special place where she could nap, covered by a quilt stitched together with the names of kancerheroes embroidered on every square. The RNs called themselves Telma’s Troopers—most of them were on the 20/20 that featured Telma five years back. Elizabeth Vargas and a camera crew followed the (then) 4 foot titan thru the rooms & corridors of Brainard as she cajoled and consoled, struggling to keep up.