A wine bought young & stored will cost less than to purchase the same wine once it is matured. It can also give great pleasure in anticipation (each time you check your cellar, you will see bottles growing in both taste & value) & when opened has a sense of occasion about it. Imagine the romance when opening a bottle at a dinner party when you mention how long you’ve been saving it & remember where & when you bought it…
The fearless bossman always bossed up & said Get em!
One of the things that kept him on his toes was Harry’s intriguing unpredictability. Last week, Jerzy brought him a treat, no big thing, a little aperitif, just a snatchshot soupçon of Chloë Sevigny, not meant to be anything more than a cordial, a nice port, a nighttime sweet left under a hotel pillow — less prosaically, a retriever bringing his master a dead bird.
Harry erupted: “That’s fucking coals to Newcastle! That’s bringing cunts to an OB/GYN! She is a hooker. Have you seen her blowing Vincent Gallo? That’s a pair to draw to. You oughta go on the internet a little more often, my friend, you’ll get an education. What the fuck was it called? That movie he directed? You can watch the scene on the internet. That phony prick. . . Brown Bunny! Vincent Gallo directed a piece of shit called Brown Bunny, starring his girlfriend. That slimy piece of shit — can you imagine his personal hygience? — she should have sued his skinny ass. But she didn’t, cause she’s a whore. Vincent Gallo: actor, model, director, phoney. I’m telling you, the guy was the James Franco of his time! Go on the internet, go, you’ll see her gobble-gobble. & this ain’t a sex tape, we’re not talking about a Kardashian, we’re talking about something voluntary. & pretentious, which in my book is the worst of sins.
“& don’t ever bring me pictures of that cocksucker’s cunt again!”
. .
His half-sister was crashing with him and Tom-Tom.
She told him never to call her Jerilynn, only Reeyonna or ReeRee, Hey fine with me, sis, remember who you’re talkin to? Jerzy who used to be Jerry Jr. She said he could call her Ree, too, or Yonna or Reezy. Yeah yeah, just don’t call me Al, or maybe it’s ‘You can call me Al,’ or whatever it is. Ree was pregnant and moved out of MoMA’s after MoMA told her about the grand theft art-o, lootin’ the poor kid’s legacy. Looks like l’il homie finally got what he’d been telling her for years: that MoMA’s a douchebag. But he didn’t gloat about it. Funny how nobody ever sees the truth till they get hit in the pocketbook, to borrow an antique phrase of Harry’s.
Jerzy was sort of attracted to her, speed made him attracted to everything, & when Reeyonna wasn’t there, he and Tom-Tom (who lyked to dyke) joked about an all in the family 3-way. ReeRee was hot but even hotter to Tom-Tom, being that she was already beginning to show. On weekends, ReeRee’s black boyfriend stayed over and Jerzy & Tom-Tom listened to them fuck through the wall, then Jerzy & Tom-Tom would fuck like rutting dingoes while the teen lovebirds were all moanballing and mattresspringing. Fun! The black bf was hot too, though not to Jerzy. Not really. But with a little fairydusting of the ol’ spackle m’gackle Jerzy could for sure find himself jacking to a thought bubble of the boy’s brown washboard abs, imagining that sleeping giant, that eggplant, that Deep Purple napping below deck, with its rutabaga-, deflated punching bag — sized scrote, the whole deal fisting up from the loamy stank of Jockey Gardens.
One time the 3 of them — Tom-Tom, Jerzy & ReeRee — watched porn after the black bf went home. The internet was on the big plasma in the living room. They smoked dro & sat on beanbag chairs. Tom-Tom wanted to blow Ree Witherspoon’s mind (she liked annoying Reeyonna by calling her that, but it was really only more like Reeyonna got half-annoyed because she liked the attention though she’d never admit it, liked to be half-teased by an attentive dyke even though she didn’t run that way), she wanted to play some XXX shit because she knew ReeRee wasn’t a pornhead. So first she went on one of the milkmaid sights & they watched pregnant chicks pump breast milk, tittie squirters, &tc. Reeyonna said it was disgusting. But Tom-Tom had a plan, a ground control to major plan, Jerzy couldn’t believe what she cum up with, man a new low in frickin depravity. Fun!
This video they were suddenly looking at was super strange, shot outdoors, somewhere like up on Mulholland. There must have been 40 chicks milling around, just chatting away like they were getting mani-pedis, all nude except for high heels. Put em in jogging clothes & they’d look like a bunch of moms shootin shit at a dog run. The chicks on the frontlines were the only ones not being casual, these were like savage bitches they had this savage energy and they were all gathered around this Kreayshawnlooking white girl who was kneeling on the ground on a towel so she wouldn’t scrape her knees, & this frontline of chicks was circling her like she was frickin prey, man they looked badass. And these chicks, they’re all, like, mildly jacking, standing straight up & mildly jacking, it’s like they’re about to start a race, you know, gentlemen start your engines… then one of em, black chick, nasty-ass Tina Turner type, straight outta Compton, naked except for heels breaks from the line & struts forward toward White Girl like a singer taking—owning—the stage in the final finals of The X Factor — The XXX Factor! gets real close to White Girl like she’s gunna do a solo, which she does, drum solo, she Han Solo hand solo hand so low starts to beat off, fanning that pussyclit with stiff longnailed lacquered nasty-ass fingers man she brutally works it, arm moving like a piston, then starts yelling too, fucking Zulu-style! & her chorus line buddies join in, they’re jacking but still casual, you know, they don’t want to steal their sister’s thunder, they’re not at bat yet, they’re still on deck, &, like, they don’t want to, you know, fuck up their turn when it comes, they don’t want to fuck it up by coming before they’re at bat, but this Zulu shit even got the attention of the desultory mani-pedi chicks six rows back, the Tina is screaming & beating herself & cussing out the pathetic cowering Kreayshawn——& then WTF!!! some watery shit frickin GUSHES from the Tina’s hole, man it is a horizontal geyser, even Jerzy who’s seen a lot of porno never seen anything like it & ReeRee says O my God! What is that? but Tom-Tom is not forthcoming with an explanation. Ree’s eyes are glued to the screen anyway (whose wouldn’t) (Jerzy watches Tom-Tom get off, watching Ree watching), man that Tina’s like a broken fire hydrant, she’s in White Girl’s face, standing right over it, straddling the mousy chick’s already soaked, dirty blond Kreayshawnscalp, the Tina’s bending her knees, fuckin awesome quads, like she trains for the event by doing squats at the gym, she’s got this tuffskin, murderous cool-looking face, & lets another torrent rip, fuckin hydrant-hydrosquirts on the retard cracker, Reeyonna still looking on in transfixed fascination, saying now, “Is it pee? What IS that? Is it her pee? — ” Tom-Tom, ever the old pro/black widow, white black widow, keeping on the downlow, saying nothing as the fountainspray diminishes though man it is still jetting out, Jerzy wondering/marveling where it’s all coming from. The rearguard of mani-pedi freaks walks forward now like fresh infantry, like they used to in the Civil War, those old paintings, soldierly stepping up to replace their dead/bayonet musketwounded/spent comrades, all impressively nude & heel-shod. And they commence to beat off together, 5 bottle Rockettes at a time, blurry piston machine arms! then OUT pours the. . fluid, granted not as much as the Tina who clearly was the heavyweight, the legend, the headliner, superstar spurtswoman of the day cant touch that & the watery shit (not called Patricia) is like jellyfish/insecticide dusting White Girl’s idiot face, blond hair stuck & slick from waterbombs seeming called on command. Jerzy wanted to ask Tom-Tom if the squirty shit was the result of the bitches cumming, or could they get it to squirt without cumming, but he didn’t. Later.