Nick sighed and took a bite of his salad, chewing in silence. When he swallowed and drank down some water, he finally answered. “If you get too close to him, if your partner is able to home in on him or track him down, and you threaten to disrupt his plans, he’ll kill you and anyone else who gets in his way.”
“Then explain it to me. Tell me what we’re up against. What can Cornelius Drake do that makes him so unstoppable, because he surely isn’t going to just sweep in and suck all of us dry, now, is he? Is he going to hypnotize us all? Let us do our job, damnit. Catching killers is what I’m good at.”
“And I don’t doubt that for a moment,” he said, sounding surprisingly sincere, “but I don’t want your blood on my hands if you die trying to get this guy.”
Guilt. Jackie sensed it was a major theme for Nick. His past overflowed with dead bodies. “That’s sweet, really, but you’ve had your chances with this guy and not been able to catch him. Things have changed a lot in the past… decades.”
“Technology can’t really contend with this,” he countered.
“Guys like you, you mean?”
He paused so long she thought he might not answer. “Yes, Ms. Rutledge, guys like me.”
“I could have you locked up in a psyche ward for an admission like that, you know.”
“And you will never find Drake, and he may just kill a bunch of you to get to me.”
“What is he, the Terminator?”
Nick’s smile held no amusement. “Worse in some ways. Look, if I show you something, will you seriously reconsider pursuing this guy?”
“Going to show me your fangs, Nick?” She wiped at the smear of butter at the corner of her mouth and tossed the napkin on the table. “I won’t agree to anything. I’ll consider anything you have to say or show me that is pertinent to the case. If this doesn’t change my mind, will you come in this afternoon to speak with our task force?”
“Spoken like a true lawman.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, bemused. He reached into the coat lying on the chair beside him and pulled out a small case. “I’ll agree to those terms.”
“What is that?”
He held it out to her. “A contact-lens case.”
Ah, so the freaky eyes were fake after all. “I knew you must be wearing something,” she said while he removed one, and then the other lens, putting them into the solution-filled cups. “Let me tell you, those contacts give you messed-up eyes, Nick. They weird people out, but what’s this got…”
Her sentence trailed off as Nick looked up and met her gaze, crystal-blue eyes, deep and glowing with no iris at all. They were just solid, pulsing blue, within which murky gray tendrils swirled around.
“Look,” he said, a finger pointing up at his eyes. “Look in here and tell me what you see.”
“What the fuck?” They were downright disturbing and oddly compelling. How could he have no iris?
“Please, Jackie. If you want to understand the danger you’re in, just look. It won’t hurt. Trust me.”
She leaned forward, staring at him, and there was something in there, moving, ebbing, and pulsing like a heartbeat. The beat began to fill her head, soothing, calming. Fear washed away in the cool, blue waters of his eyes, so deep one could easily drown in them, sinking away into dark and blissful nothing. Part of her realized what was happening. The word hypnosis ricocheted around in the far recesses of her brain, but she could not latch on to it. The thought swam away in the cool flood of his gaze. Jackie sagged back in her chair. “That’s messed up.”
“What is? Me? You? This case?”
His eyes looked right into her-cold, intense water that filled up every part of her, seeping into her bones, into the deepest parts of her soul. The layers of her just washed away, exposed by that pulsing blue light, until even those bottom layers of muck that Jackie avoided treading in were exposed to his willful stare. He could see it all, and Jackie offered it up to him with eager hands, unable to hold back. Some part of her screamed, filled with terror that he could just reach in and open that Pandora’s Box of nightmares, blood, and death, that releasing its contents could consume them, destroy them in the blink of an eye. The other part of her was sure he held the answers to all her needs, that he could simply cleanse her soul of the blight upon it with a wave of his hands.
He did nothing, however. He acted as little more than a tourist on safari in unknown lands. There was no judgment, no accusations, no blame, just the sense of knowing. He had opened a door into her most private self, or, worse, Jackie had opened it and invited him right in, like a best friend perfectly at ease knowing all the good and the bad.
“Everything is messed up,” she said, aware of the words, but unaware of where they were coming from. “This case is freaking me out; my partner, Laurel, just came out of the closet, we had a big fight because… I… I drink too much. I fuck guys I can’t even remember the next day. Hell, I don’t even like men very much.”
“Why is that, Jackie? They treat you badly in the past? Are you having feelings for Laurel?” His voice held the deepest sincerity, a father’s concern for his daughter, or one lover for another.
“Laurel?” She laughed, and the words just kept bubbling up out of her, unbidden. “No. I love her to death but, well, no. She was in love with me, and it makes me sad I have been so oblivious to it, like she is this whole different person I didn’t even realize. Guys, on the other hand.” She waved a finger at Nick. “I’ll tell you some horror stories there. Can’t trust them for shit. They all secretly hate women, you know? Think they are dumber, less than human. They killed her, just beat her down until she gave in, and felt like she didn’t even deserve to live anymore.”
“Ah, I see. Your mother?”
Jackie sniffed and took a breath. “Yes, my mother. Fucking stepdad tortured her. Sucked the life out of her until there was nothing but an empty shell, too useless to do anything except crawl into the tub and die.” She wiped at the tear that spilled down her cheek. “I didn’t do a fucking thing. He just walked away and never looked back.”
“I’m not like that though, Jackie. I’m one of the good guys. I have a great deal of respect for you. I’d never hurt you.”
The tears kept falling. The aware part of her psyche, buried under that pulsing blue light, finally threw up her hands in disgust. “I know. You are a good man, but you’d never want a stone-cold bitch like me. God, I’m crying. I’m sorry.”
Nick reached out and took her hands in his. “No, crying is just fine. You probably need to shed a few tears.” Jackie nodded at him and blinked at the faucet that had turned on inside her head somewhere. “Maybe after lunch we can go back to my place. I’m sure I could think of ways to make you feel better about yourself.”
She nodded. Yeah, that sounded like a wonderful plan. That lean, swimmer’s body curled up around her, hands roaming over her in a long, sweet caress. Heat began to swim through her body. “I’d like that, Nick, but you’re a suspect still. Really, we should wait.”
“For what, Jackie? Do you really think I’m a suspect? Can’t you tell I’m one of the good ones? I’d like the chance to show you.”
She nodded. “Okay. I’d like to be with you, Nick. I need it.”
“Jackie, look out the doors there, onto the deck.”
“Huh?”
“Look out into the sunshine. Look now.”
Jackie turned and stared out beyond the French doors, staring blissfully at nothing. Then a cool breeze came wafting in, blowing right through her like she was nothing more than a gauzy, billowing curtain. Nick’s presence pulled out, leaving a painful, hollow emptiness inside. She looked back to find Nick putting the contacts back into his eyes, and the reality of what had just happened hit her like a brick to the head.
“You… you…” she spluttered, fighting against the anger constricting her throat, at the utter, mortifying embarrassment that flushed into her face. “What the fuck did you do?”