Shelby stepped away from Nick and pointed at the piano. “Play something, babe. Don’t argue with me, just do it.”
He glanced over at Jackie, but she could not tell what the look meant, and he gave a helpless shrug and walked back over to the piano bench. Suddenly, Jackie felt self-conscious, remembering the perfect, beautiful baby grand he had sitting in his loft. Hers was likely horribly out of tune in comparison.
“Come on, Jackie. Shower. You look like hell,” Shelby said with a smile, motioning at her to get up. “And Nick could use a few minutes, I think.”
She glanced over at Nick, who sat staring at the keys. She really wanted nothing more than to hear him play. Shelby waved at her again, more insistent this time, and Jackie finally struggled to her feet, noticing for the first time since waking up that her body hurt. “Okay, you’re right, a shower will feel good.”
To her surprise, Shelby followed her in and closed the door. Before Jackie could ask what she was doing in there with her, she slid her pants down and sat heavily on the toilet, sighing with obvious relief. “Christ! I never saw that coming. Only a guy could sit on something like that for so long.”
Jackie nodded, not exactly comfortable standing there watching the strange, headstrong woman pee in the toilet. She had to admit, though, that Shelby was growing on her. The woman was confident, knew what she wanted, and seemed utterly capable of getting it. She also drank blood. “Yeah, I suppose so.”
Notes from the piano began to roll down the hall toward them like a sad wash of fog, seeping into every surface. The music plucked on Jackie’s heartstrings with a haunting finesse. God, he really was good.
Shelby looked at the door and frowned. “He never had a name for that piece, but now I think it must be Ode to Gwen or something equally sentimental.”
“It’s very sad,” Jackie said.
She nodded. “Yep. That’s our Nick, far too maudlin for his own good.” She flushed and stood back up. “Okay, shower. Now. I want to go get breakfast soon.”
Jackie turned and caught her reflection in the mirror. Shit! She had been sitting out there with them all this time looking like this? More disturbing were the bandages around her wrists. They made her look like a suicide patient. “Are you taking one with me or something?”
Shelby offered a sly smile. “Did you want me to?”
“Um.” Jackie gulped. Okay, wrong question. “No, not really.”
“Okay then,” she replied, laughing. “Get in there and take one. And scrub with something foofy. You still smell like tequila.”
Jackie’s face flushed. God, she was worse than a mother. Feeling more than a little self-conscious, Jackie hung her robe up on the hook behind the door and stepped into the shower. The music continued to invade the room, the melancholy notes bringing Laurel to mind more strongly than Jackie felt like coping with.
“Personal question?” she asked, sucking in her breath at the sting of water on her wrists as she unwound the gauze that covered them.
“Sure.”
“What’s it like having to drink blood to stay alive? Doesn’t that bother you?”
The electric shaver clicked on, and Jackie watched Shelby’s distorted, half-naked form begin shaving her legs. It was not a scene she would have imagined possible. “Yeah, but it’s a bit like being an addict, I think. You feel horrible for doing it, but it’s still wonderful when you do. When the other option is death, you sort of adjust your priorities.”
“So it’s that good? I just can’t wrap my mind around that.”
“Well,” she said, pausing while she perched the other leg on the toilet seat, “it’s kind of beside the point when you need it to live, but it’s… hmmm. You ever tried heroin?”
“What? God, no.”
“Ever had such a strong orgasm you nearly passed out?”
“That’s rhetorical, right?”
Shelby laughed. “No, actually. But I’m guessing the answer to that is no, which is too bad. You need better lovers then, hon. Anyway, the effect is the most perversely pleasurable thing imaginable.”
“Oh.” She washed in silence, her brain now turned to the absurd notion of cumming so hard that it could make you pass out. She wondered if Nick had been the one to do that to Shelby. Was it some kind of vampire thing? Some weird power they had?
“Regardless,” Shelby continued, “I wouldn’t recommend it. The withdrawal symptoms are a bitch.”
“But Nick found a way around it. You don’t actually drink real blood anymore.”
“Discounting the prick in the hospital? Yeah, but it’s a poor substitute. We’re far weaker on that shit.”
“Isn’t that better than having to drink someone’s blood?”
“According to Nick, yes.”
She sounded bitter. He had said something about them refusing to drink any more blood after he had developed the synthetic. “So you disagree with Nick’s abstaining?”
Shelby sighed and turned off the razor. “Nick believes that being moral is better than being just. He’s too pigheaded for his own good sometimes.”
Jackie thought about that while the water rinsed the shampoo from her hair. That was a tough call. Still, she wondered if she could live with herself if she needed to act immorally to achieve justice. “Why can’t you have both?”
The shower curtain pulled back, and Shelby stuck her head in. “You want to catch Laurel’s killer?”
The question churned her gut. “More than anything.”
Shelby’s face looked grim and sad. “Then it’s going to take blood. One way or another. Which is going to leave you with the clearer conscience in the end, Jackie? Morality or justice?”
Jackie realized unequivocally what the answer to that was. “I want to kill the fucker.”
Shelby nodded and grabbed a towel. “Exactly. And now you know why Nick just pisses me off.”
Jackie turned off the water and grabbed the towel. “He’s right, though, for the most part.” It occurred to her then just how hard it must be for him to try to balance those two clashing needs. “He thinks he’s going to die trying to get Drake, doesn’t he?”
“So do I,” Shelby stated. “It doesn’t stop me from doing what I think needs to be done.”
Her tone sent a shiver down Jackie’s spine. “That include drinking more blood?” Shelby’s look answered the question for her. “Just don’t tell me when you do, okay? I don’t want to have to arrest you.”
She laughed. “Hon, at that point, you won’t be able to.”
The thought chilled her. “You two scare the shit out of me.”
“We’re not the ones you need to be scared of, Jackie. We’re on your side.”
“I know that now.” She needed them. She needed to work with a couple vampires to catch another one. This supernatural shit was too much. The aching loneliness for Laurel’s presence suddenly burned inside her. Jackie draped the towel over the curtain rod and put her robe back on. “How am I going to do this, Shelby?” She had not meant to ask the question out loud. Shelby was a virtual stranger, yet she felt some sort of friendship to her already.
Shelby turned and looked at Jackie and immediately stepped over to give her a hug. “You start by getting through today, and, little by little, it will get easier. I miss her, too, and I barely knew her.”
Jackie swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill again. “It’s like the good half of me is gone now. I’m not even sure how to function anymore.”
“Aw, hon. I know the feeling, but you’ll rebuild yourself, and you’ll never forget the things she brought to your life.”
She sniffed against Shelby’s shoulder. “Yeah, I know, but… I never thought it could hurt this much.”
Shelby stepped back, her hands on Jackie’s shoulders. “You’ll need to be strong, Jackie, if you’re going to see her again.”