I moaned.
“Now it’s not as bad as all that.”
I said that it was as bad as all that. I asked her what time it was. “Eleven forty-seven. You can have milk toast now if you want it.”
I said that it was unlikely I should ever want milk toast at any time; in fact, the whole idea of food, despite the complete vacuum in my stomach, was sickening. I asked if it was day or night.
“Daytime, silly.”
“How long have I been unconscious?”
“About ten hours, since last night. You came to once or twice while Doctor was pumping your stomach; you made things very difficult for Doctor.”
“For Nurse, too, I’ll bet,” I said, remembering my hospital-talk from an appendectomy of some years before.
“I’m used to difficult cases,” she said with some pride. “We had a very difficult case, Doctor and I, a week ago. It involved a total castration and my gracious …”
“Send for Lieutenant Winters,” I said weakly, putting a halt to these dreadful reminiscences.
“Well, I’m not sure that …”
“I will get up and go to him myself,” I said, sitting up with a great effort.
She grew alarmed. “You stay right there, dear, and I’ll go get him. Now don’t you move.” I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to.
A moment later she returned with Winters. He looked upset; as well he should have been. He motioned for the angel of mercy to leave the room.
When we were alone, he said, “Why did you do it?”
“Why did I do what?”
“Take all those sleeping tablets. According to the doctor you took over a dozen, of the strongest type. If you hadn’t knocked the receiver off the hook and the butler heard the phone ring in the pantry, you would’ve been dead now which, I suppose, is what you intended to do.”
“Winters,” I said softly, “when I go you go with me.”
He looked alarmed. “What do you mean?”
“Only that I did not take any sleeping tablets, that I was deliberately poisoned.”
“Are you sure of this?”
I called him several insulting names. He took them gravely, as though trying to determine whether or not they suited him.
“Who do you think gave them to you, and how?”
“They were given me by the killer you failed to apprehend and, as for the how, they were slipped rather cleverly into the coffee I drank after dinner. Mrs. Rhodes serves something which tastes not unlike Turkish mud, very expensive and heavy, so heavy that it’s impossible to taste whether it’s been tampered with or not.”
“Why do you think you were poisoned?”
“Because I know who did the murders.”
“You do not.” Winters sounded suddenly like an angry schoolboy trying to put a braggart in his place.
“I do, too,” I said, mocking his tone. He blushed.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t see how you happen to know who did the murder from the information available.”
“It may be that I have a better mind than yours.”
It was his turn to attribute rude characteristics to me. I smiled seraphically all through his insults. When he finished, I suggested that this was hardly the way to speak to a man who has only recently returned from the other side. Then, all passion spent, I spoke to him reasonably. “As soon as I have enough evidence I’ll let you know.”
“When will that be?”
“Tonight at dinner,” I said gaily, not at all sure that I could produce enough evidence but undisturbed by any thought of failure: so great is the love of life. I had recovered; I was not to die just yet. It is a feeling common to soldiers and those who survive operations and accidents of a serious nature.
“I insist you tell me now.” Winters became suddenly official.
“Not a chance in the world, friend,” I said, pulling myself up in bed. My head still ached but I was no longer dizzy. “Now you tell the doctor to give me a shot of something to put a little life back into me and then, like Dr. Holmes, full of morphine or whatever it was he took, I shall proceed to arrange the evidence in such a manner that not even the police will be confused.”
“You’re out of your mind.”
“Will you do as I tell you?”
“No. If someone did try to kill you, and I have only your word that they did, the police would never allow you to be without protection.”
“You may protect me as much as you like.”
“Damn it, man, you’re withholding evidence from the proper authorities, do you realize that? Will you stop playing detective long enough to allow us to do our job properly?”
I was irritated by this. “If you’d done your job properly Rufus Hollister would not be dead and I would be feeling much more fit than I do. Since you can’t be trusted to do it on your own, I prefer to do it myself.”
Winters bit his lower lip furiously. It took him a second to regain control of his temper. His voice shook when at last he spoke. “I have my own methods, Sargeant. I know what I’m doing. I was perfectly aware that there was a good chance Hollister had been murdered. But we must be thorough. We can’t go off after every harebrained theory which occurs to us, even if it happens to be the right one. We have to build slowly and carefully. It happens that at this moment we are on the verge of some new evidence which may bring us closer to the murderer, assuming Hollister was not a suicide. Amateur help is not much use because amateurs usually end up dead. We were fortunate, I suppose, that we could save you.” This was a good point and I softened considerably.
“I am,” I said, “very moved by your rhetoric. The fact that you people saved my life is one point in your favor. So we’ll make a bargain. I will get up today. I will collect what evidence I need and contrive, if possible, a trap … one which will be sprung tonight. I will then, if successful, give Lieutenant Winters full credit for the amazing apprehension of a clever killer. Does that satisfy you?”
It did not satisfy him. We fought for half an hour; finally he agreed, but only after I told him that even if he arrested me I would never reveal what I knew in any way except my own. Reluctantly, he consented. He insisted on following me about all day and I said that he could.
He then called in the nurse who called the doctor who gave me several shots; the nurse then brought me bread and milk which she insisted I eat. Winters excused himself. He would, he said, join me when I was dressed.
“Come on, dear, finish the nice bread.” Nurse did everything but stuff the concoction down my throat. I found to my surprise that I liked it, that it restored the lining to my stomach. The return of bulk made me gurgle pleasantly; it was nice to have the body functioning again and my head felt less sore.
“Now, you rest there like a good boy for twenty minutes before you get up. Doctor’s orders. Shots must have time to take effect.” With that she was gone. As she went out the door, I saw that a plain-clothes man was standing guard over me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, preparing myself for the battle ahead. It was going to be a full day.
There was a sudden commotion outside the door and I heard Ellen’s clear commanding voice ring out over the gruff tones of the law: “I insist on seeing him. He happens to be my fiancé.”
“Let her in!” I shouted; the door was opened and Ellen swept in.
“Bloody oaf,” she said, plumping down in the chair beside the bed. Her voice softened. “Poor darling! You tried to kill yourself for love of me, didn’t you?”
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you and Walter Langdon living together in Garden City with a dog and little ones.”
“I should’ve known that I wasn’t the cause of your suicide. I never am. No man ever seems to want to kill himself on my account.”