He looked at her seriously. Then he beamed.
– Don’t let me fool you. Naturally this has bugger-all to do with politics. I do what I’ve always enjoyed doing, provoking people. Do you see why I could no longer be a priest? When you give toys to children, most of them start playing with them. But some immediately want to take them apart, to see what’s inside. Afterwards they throw them away. That is the kind of child I am. I’ll never be any different. Luckily for me, I earn a helluva lot of money from this kind of stuff.
He laughed his hollow laugh.
– But now I’m thinking about quitting.
– Quitting TV?
– Everything, actually… The New Year broadcast will be the final show. Know what it’s going to be about?
She didn’t know.
– Death! Death is the ultimate taboo. It defies everything. It won’t even let you scratch it.
– A talk show about death? You wouldn’t be the first to come up with something like that.
– My approach will be different. He didn’t expand.
– Now you’re making me curious, said Liss.
– It will not be without a certain irony, he smiled and looked proud. – And yet it will be deadly serious. That’s all I’m going to say. You’ve already got me to say too much as it is.
13
SHE JUMPED ON board a tram on Frogner Way. Sat in the rear carriage without paying. Sent a text message to Viljam. He was still at his seminar, but she got an answer: Per På Hjørnet at one okay?
She was there at quarter to. Had an espresso. Went outside in the cold for a smoke, bought a newspaper and went back into the bar again. It was twenty past by the time he arrived, it irritated her.
– Don’t you get tired of sitting there swotting up on points of law? she contented herself with saying.
– Don’t even talk about it.
He ordered a latte. She had another espresso. Suddenly felt the urge for something that would pep her up more than coffee.
– It’s so dark in this town. The light just keeps disappearing.
– It must be almost as dark in Amsterdam in the winter, Viljam protested.
Liss didn’t want to talk about Amsterdam. – I was at Berger’s today.
– Berger, he exclaimed. – What were you doing there?
She didn’t answer. An elderly woman scurried past on the pavement outside. Walked along holding on to her tiny hat.
– There’s no wind at all out there.
Viljam sipped his coffee. – Did you go there because there’s no wind?
She looked at him. He had dark rings under his eyes.
– What you said about Mailin having found something out about Berger. That she was going to put pressure on him before the show.
– Did you ask him about that?
– I called on him because I wanted to form some impression of him. Maybe next time I’ll ask him straight out.
Viljam shook his head. – And what do you think that will achieve? That he’ll fall on his knees and confess to something or other? He seemed exasperated. – Leave that kind of thing to the police, Liss. If you keep on like that, you might be making it more difficult for them to find out what’s happened.
He brushed his long fringe back. – I’m not too happy either about the way they’re working, he said quietly. – They don’t seem to understand that with each passing day our chances are less. If something doesn’t happen soon…
Liss waited. The implication of what he almost said hung somewhere in the air between them. She took two big gulps, shivered and put the cup down.
– I feel sure you know what it was Mailin found out about Berger.
– You’re right, he answered.
He said no more; she grew impatient.
– I want you to tell me what it was.
She could see the muscles of his jaw working. Then he breathed out heavily.
– Mailin spoke to someone about him, he said. – Someone who was initiated into the world of grown-up secrets by Berger a long time ago. That was what she was going to reveal during the broadcast. Look directly into the camera and come out with it.
Liss opened her eyes wide. – Expose Berger live and on air as a fucking paedo?
Viljam began picking at his serviette. – She wanted to force him to cancel the broadcast, as a way of demonstrating that there are in fact certain limits. I asked if she knew what sort of reaction she would get. She claimed she did. I’m afraid she was wrong about that.
Liss thought about this for a few moments and then said: – According to Berger, she never showed up for their meeting.
The serviette was in pieces. Viljam dropped it on the floor. – Could be he’s telling the truth.
To Liss it seemed as if things had gone very quiet around them. As though people sitting at the other tables had stopped talking. He’s suffering, she thought. You’re suffering, Liss.
She laid a hand on his arm. – Let’s go for a walk. Have you got time?
They crossed the square in front of the Town Hall, continued along the quays. Nativity stars glowed in all the windows.
– You were supposed to be getting married in the summer, she said out of nowhere.
Viljam glanced at her. – How did you know that?
– Mailin sent me a text. Asked me to keep next Midsummer’s Day free.
– And there we were planning to keep it to ourselves for the time being, not say anything until Christmas Eve. He stared straight ahead. – She admires you, he said suddenly.
Liss looked startled. – Who?
– Mailin says you’ve always been braver than her. Not scared of anything. Climbing steep hillsides. Always the first one in. Diving from the top of big rocks.
Liss scoffed.
– You broke away and went to Amsterdam, he continued. – Mailin feels such a strong sense of being tied up in everything here at home.
What’s to become of you, Liss?
– What about you? she asked, to change the subject. – Are you brave?
– When necessary.
They were standing by the torch of peace, at the end of the quays. A few boats bobbed up and down in their berths. The wind had got up. Thin flakes of snow wafted around, unable to land.
– When are you going out to the cabin?
– This afternoon.
He dug out a bunch of keys, opened it and slipped a car key out.
– Think you’ll find out anything else about Mailin there?
She shook her head. – You and Tage have already been there. And the police.
She turned to the flame burning in its leaf-shaped container, reached out her hand. Found out how close she could hold it without getting burned.
14
LISS PARKED MAILIN’S car at Bysetermosan. Continued on foot up the forest track, into the silence. Not silence, but all the sounds of the forest: the winter birds, the wind in the treetops, her own footsteps.
She reached the place where she had to turn off the track. The snow had melted and frozen again. She could walk on it without using snowshoes. First a fairly steep upward incline. Almost four years since she’d been there, but she remembered every tree and every rocky outcrop. Wherever she went, this landscape always went with her.
She climbed over a rise and could just make out the roof of the cabin ahead through the trees. Stood a moment looking out across Morr Water and the ridge on the far side. Not until it had begun to turn dark did she carry on down.
There was a strong smell of brown creosote. She remembered that back in the autumn, Mailin had mentioned that she and Viljam were going out there to do some painting. She’d asked if Liss would come home and help them. Liss ran her hand over the rough planks of the outer wall. The sensation conjured up images of Mailin. It felt as though she were there, and for a moment Liss wondered whether she would be able to go in.