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“Maybe so, but most wives’ husbands aren’t sex therapists.”

“Somebody’s got to do it.”

“I suppose. But—it’s only natural—I still get jealous of all those women who have you all day long.”

“Ethel, what can I do? Before I met you I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that I could do nothing. Not anything. And then, in one magic moment, on a cart in a chapel in a Catholic hospital I discovered a talent that—well, let’s face it, Etheclass="underline" the chapel, the Catholic hospital, the way we are destined to do God’s will—it’s a talent that’s got to be God-given.”

Ethel smiled in spite of her fears. “That was a magic moment, wasn’t it, Bruce?”

“Yeah, it was. I never did anything right before in my life. But that moment! There was something about that hospital. It was like the power was flowing out of someone else—God, I guess—and flowing into me. Right after I experienced my reaction and felt your response, I knew this was a God-given gift and it had to be used for the betterment of mankind.”

“Womankind.”

“Whatever. Anyway, it felt kind of funny making a demonstration tape and sending it to the Maharidian. But since I was doing it with you, it wasn’t so bad.”

“And it was on the strength of that tape that you were hired.”

“That’s true, Ethel. But in no time now I’ve worked my way up here at the Id Center to be the number-one surrogate. You should be proud.”

“I am. But I’m jealous too.”

“Don’t be. I’m doing it for the greater honor and glory of God—like the Jesuits say—AMDG. Besides—now don’t you go telling this to anyone; it might ruin me—”

“Okay.”

“I don’t get any pleasure from it.”

“You don’t get any—! How can that be?”

“I save all my pleasure for you.”

“You do?”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh, Bruce. That makes me so happy. I’m even happier now that the Maharidian has named it—you know, the thing—after you.”

“Uh-huh. The Whitaker Maneuver! Can we go to sleep now, Ethel?”

“Sure, Bruce.”

“Bruce?”

“What, Ethel?”

“Could we do it just once? It helps me go to sleep real good.”

“Ethel!”

“Please.”

“Oh, okay. Give me a moment.”

“Are you ready yet?”

“Wait a minute.”

“Yet?”

“Um-hmm.”

“Now?”

“Oh!”

“Bruce, I think you’re ready.”

“It’s God’s will!”

“God’s will be done!”

Acknowledgments

Gratitude for technical advice to:

Sgt. Roy Awe, Homicide, Detroit Police Department

Ramon Betanzos, Professor of Humanities, Wayne State University

Patricia Chargot, Staff Writer, Detroit Free Press

Jim Grace, Detective, Kalamazoo Police Department

Mary Ann Hayes, R.N.

Timothy Kenny, Deputy Chief of the Criminal Division, Wayne County

Prosecutor’s Office

Patrick McAlinden, Director of Treatment, Western Wayne County Correctional Facility

Sgt. Daniel McCarty, Police Arson Unit, Detroit Police Department

Neal Shine, Senior Managing Editor, Detroit Free Press

Samaritan Health Care Center, Detroit:

Sister Bernadelle Grimm, R.S.M.

Sister Rose Petruzzo, O.P., Director, Department of Pastoral Care Service

Sister Genevieve Shea, S.L.W., Chaplain

Sister Marie Thielen, R.S.M., Vice President for Sponsorship

The Reverend Roland Schaedig, Chaplain

James Culver, Pharm. D., Director of Pharmacy

Donald Grimes, Quality Assurance Coordinator, Pharmacy

Dolly Wasik, Secretary, Pastoral Care Department

Barbara Wineka, Director, Department of Volunteer Services

Mt. Carmel Mercy Hospital, Detroit:

Thomas J. Petinga, Jr., D.O., FACEP, Chairman, Department of Emergency Medicine

Rosemary Clisdal, R.N., Assistant Charge Nurse, Department of Emergency Medicine

William M. Collins, CRNA, Staff Anesthetist, Department of Anesthesia

Vivien Dishmon, R.N., Assistant Head Nurse, Department of Surgery

Scott T. Harris, M.D., Chief Surgical Resident, Department of Emergency Medicine

Willard S. Holt, Jr., M.D, FCCP, Chairman, Department of Anesthesia

Gloria Kuhn, DO., FACEP, Director of Residency, Department of Emergency Medicine

Maureen Loose, R.N., Staff Nurse, Department of Surgery

Bob Mahanti, Surgical Assistant, Department of Surgery

James Patton, Biomedical Engineering Technician

Robert Roussin, R.N., Assistant Charge Nurse, Department of Emergency Medicine

Deathbed copyright © 1986, 2012 by Gopits, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

an Andrews McMeel Universal company,

1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106

This is a work of fiction and, as such, events described herein are creations of the author’s imagination. Any relation to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental and accidental.

ISBN 978-1-4494-2365-0

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

William X. Kienzle died in December 2001. He was a Detroit parish priest for twenty years before leaving the priesthood. He began writing his popular mystery series after serving as an editor and director at the Center for Contemplative Studies at the University of Dallas.

The Father Koesler Mysteries

1. The Rosary Murders

2. Death Wears a Red Hat

3. Mind Over Murder

4. Assault with Intent

5. Shadow of Death

6. Kill and Tell

7. Sudden Death

8. Deathbed

9. Deadline for a Critic

10. Marked for Murder

11. Eminence

12. Masquerade

13. Chameleon

14. Body Count

15. Dead Wrong

16. Bishop as Pawn

17. Call No Man Father

18. Requiem for Moses

19. The Man Who Loved God

20. The Greatest Evil

21. No Greater Love

22. Till Death

23. The Sacrifice

24. The Gathering

Here is a special preview of

Deadline for a Critic

The Father Koesler Mysteries: Book 9

1

There is something special about an execution.

Ordinarily, the condemned is suffering from no fatal disease. No mortal wound has been inflicted. At least not yet. All the vital forces of the body tell it to go on living. It is not time to slow down. It is not time to die.

But some outside force, some external element—authority—decrees that it is, indeed, time to die. And so, by fiat, it is.

That is what is so special about an execution, whether it be legal by way of capital punishment or illegal as in an act of murder. A life is taken before its apparent due course has been completed. One faces eternity prematurely. The ultimate trauma, as it were.

Often, some sort of quasi ceremony is observed. Sometimes the condemned is permitted to pray, to put his or her soul in order. Sometimes the morbid curiosity of the executioner must be satisfied: How will the condemned face death? Sometimes invitations are issued and a procession to the death chamber is formed.