Debris

Gaping, I stared at him, hand still on the doorknob, one foot in the air with the boot half tugged off, the other wobbling as I struggled not to fall. Then Kichlan snored.

He was slumped in the chair, cheek pressed into his hand, elbow propped up on the table. And, it seemed, sound asleep.

I slipped the rest of the way out of my boots, hung my jacket on its hook by the door and tried to tiptoe through to my bedroom.

Kichlan gave another half-snore, coughed, and opened a single eye. "Other, Tanyana, do you know what bell it is?"

With a sigh, I gave up my inept attempt at stealth. "I have no idea." I hadn't heard the chimes. "And why are you here?"

"Came to talk to you. Old woman told me you'd be back so I waited." He stretched his mouth in a giant yawn, and spread his arms wide. He rolled his wrists in the air, wincing slightly. "Didn't realise I'd have to wait this long." One hand dropped to his lower back. "This did me no favours."

"Maybe you should have gone home then," I muttered. My room was warm from Valya's downstairs fires, and the comfort had eased me enough to realise how exhausted I was. I didn't want to deal with whatever Kichlan was here for. All I wanted was sleep.

"I probably should have." Kichlan stood, rolled his shoulders, stretched his arms some more. "But I'm still here. And now you're here."

I had no idea what he was talking about. "If this is going to become a talk that starts 'You're a woman and I'm a man' – could you warn me? I'd like to throw up in advance."

He glared at me. With the gas lamp below him and the night at his back, I was reminded again how tall Kichlan was. He said, "We've spoken about being serious before."

"So you know not to expect it to come easily," I replied.

"At all would be nice."

I held my tongue.

Kichlan let out a huge sigh like a giant bellows emptying. "What is going on, Tanyana?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not an idiot, none of us are. We might not have your education-"

"-don't start that again-"

"Stop acting like you think we're all simple debris collectors without a brain between us, then."

I scowled at him before rubbing at my eyes. "Kichlan, I'm exhausted. Get to your point or I'm going to start sleeping on my feet."

"Fine," he snapped, and crossed his arms. "What's going on? These emergencies, events, whatever you want to call them, you were right. They're not normal. This is so far from normal I don't have a category bizarre enough."

"I thought so," I said.

"I saw it, don't try and deny it. That debris, those planes, they were attacking you. Not us, Tanyana, you. It shouldn't attack anyone, why you?"

Why me?

I stared at him, and realised I had no answer. So instead, I said, "I told you about Grandeur-"

"About what?" he interrupted.

"The statue, when I fell. The pions that attacked me."

"And now you think debris is doing the same thing?" He lifted a sceptical eyebrow.

"I don't know, I just don't know. It isn't possible, it shouldn't be possible. But-"

"It's an awful lot of coincidences, isn't it?"

I smiled at him, hope like a tenuous fluttery bird in my heart. Kichlan, of everyone, might just believe me.

"So, what does this mean?" Kichlan asked. "Either everything is out to get you, from the bindings of the world to the waste it creates, or someone is directing them." He rubbed his face again. "Do you remember making anyone really, really angry?" He flashed a cheeky grin at me from beneath his hand. "Because that I would believe."

"Not anyone in particular."

"I'd imagine you have lots of people to choose from." His grin fell away. "The team is confused about this. Some of us are frightened."

I thought of Lad and my heart gave a little jump.

He said, "They're not trying to be malicious."

I nodded. I understood. I believed him. I really did.

We stood in my rented room, the silence heavy and straining. It was some kind of understanding, I supposed. The awkwardness and the hopelessness of it all.

"Is that where you went?" Kichlan asked, his voice softer, easier. "Tonight. To look for answers?"

"I'm not even sure anymore." I released a pent-up laugh. "I found something. Not an answer for me though."

"Oh?"

I hesitated. "In other times, Kichlan, you might not want to change someone like Lad. He might have been accepted the way he is."

"Another place too, perhaps." His expression hardened. "But this is not either. And in this place, and at this time, we have to protect him, we have to keep him hidden. Because the veche love debris collectors with skill. They love to test suits on them. Yes, like the suits I used to make. I was a part of it, I've seen it, and I will not allow it to happen to Lad."

Was I part of the we again?

"The only way I can think of," Kichlan continued. "The surest way, is to cure him."

I nodded, unsure whether I still agreed.

Then Kichlan pulled his jacket from where it had draped over a chair. "I should go, Tanyana."

"It's late," I said. "Maybe you should stay and we'll collect Lad together? I have a rug and some blankets. And if that doesn't tempt you, Valya makes a mighty dawnbell supper."

Kichlan chuckled. "Nothing is quite as tempting as the idea of sleeping on a rug on the floor. But no, I sadly must decline. I should be there for Lad, when he wakes up."

"I know."

"Thank you though," he said.

"No need."

A smile each, and Kichlan left my room. I didn't envy him the walk.

17.

Devich said to me, "It will be nothing like the last one."

"I don't see why I have to go anywhere. Whether or not it's like the last one." At least Devich wasn't insisting on dressing up again. I supposed I should be grateful for small blessings.

Devich, at my shoulder and reflected in the mirror, kissed the curve of my jaw. "Because you are my saviour. And news of the debris incident is running over Movoc like fire through dry grass. You are at the centre of that, although you don't seem to be able to understand that without outside prompting. These people want to meet you, these people want to thank you."

"You want to show me around to them, you mean. Your saviour." I didn't fancy another night pinned under glass.

"Can I help it that I happen to have a beautiful saviour on my arm?"

"Don't call me that, Devich."

"But it's the truth."

I frowned at him through the glass, but already knew I would give in. The smug smile on his face told me he knew it too.

I owed Devich. I felt it in my core. Never mind his saviour rambling – that was my duty. When Barbarian and Comedian had thrown me from my home, I should have searched for him. I should have told him I was not hurt. And memories of his limp body in my arms evoked so much guilt. Because if he hadn't come to find me, and if I hadn't saved him just in time, he could have died in that attack like his assistant had, and never known what had happened to me. That I had only abandoned him because I had no choice. Going along with another of his social gatherings would have to do for now.

"Fine," I acquiesced with a scowl. "We're not staying long, though. And I'm not changing clothes."

"Of course!" Devich squeezed my shoulders and turned from the mirror. "This night is about you."

I really wished it wasn't.

"Let's hurry, then." Devich was already in his coat, scarf and gloves. He held out my jacket and waved it at me.

"Why the rush?" It was strange, that Devich who planned and cultivated me last time was happy for me to leave as I was. I still wore the clothes from an Olday of collecting. While the morning had quickly given us more than enough debris to fill our quota, so the clothes weren't dirty or sweat stained, they were functional, not fashionable. Worn for searching the streets of Movocunder-Keeper, for hours of walking.