Vivian delicately pats my knuckles and offers a shy smile. “I understand, Car. There is no need to apologize to me.”
“Here is the rest of it,” Campbell whispers, pushing an iPad to me.
“There’s more?” I ask incredulously. Jen and Vivian both look to Campbell with an equally concerned looked.
“I’m so sorry, Carly,” she says as a tear rolls down her porcelain cheek, which she quickly bats away. “This will probably explain more than the report will. The video is ready, just hit play.”
Jen and Vivian scoot closer to me to view the video, but Campbell remains across from us, already aware of what we are about to view. The knot in my stomach tightens and my hand trembles as I touch the screen to prompt the video to begin. I’m scared, but I could never have anticipated what would play out in front of me.
Vivian gasps, Jen’s knuckles turn white as she balls her hands into fists, and I quietly relieve the pain in my throat with silent tears. I think shock prevents me from fully unleashing the fury that Campbell was afraid would occur by viewing this in public.
She’s beautiful. Her clothes reflect professionalism and sophistication and her black hair snakes down her back in loose silky curls. Her smile is contagious and pure happiness reflects in her eyes. The charm I’m familiar with is putting that smile in place as he wraps his arms around her waist and plants a playful kiss on her neck. Jack then weaves his fingers through her ebony locks and devours her mouth. Once upon a time, he used to kiss me like that. Now another woman has claimed that kiss, that charm.
Jack’s hand slides down her spine, stopping at the small of her back to protectively guide her into an apartment building. The video pauses and then cuts back to the two of them in Central Park having a picnic, snuggling up together reading a book. The final shot is of the two of them elegantly dressed, entering an upscale restaurant in New York. Her red satin gown hugs her perfectly crafted curves. Her hair is pinned in a sleek bun, which rests at the base of her neck, and her makeup is flawless. Jack looks every bit the gentleman in his tuxedo. I know better now, though; his charm is a cover for his deception. He is nothing but a snake in the grass.
“I rescind my offer,” Jen immediately says when the screen fades to black. “I will have the guys looking for a hole to put the bodies in, just give me the go-ahead.”
Vivian wraps her arm around me, pulling me into the momma bear hug that she’s known for. “Tell us what you need. We’re all here for you, Car,” she murmurs.
I look to Campbell, my eyes pleading with her to intervene, and her sympathy bounces right back to me. She reaches down to her lap and brings out another envelope.
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jen announces, gaining the attention of those around us. “What else did this prick do?”
Everyone momentarily directs their attention to her, both Campbell and Vivian scowling. She says exactly what I’m thinking though, so I don’t respond.
“That video was your past and present, Carly. Inside this envelope is your future,” she says, placing it in my sweaty palms. “Don’t look at it now, wait until you are home and have had time to let everything sink in.”
I nod and lay the envelope in my lap, noticing the ragged jeans and stretched out sweater I have on as my eyes make their way back up to my friends’ eyes. I mentally compare every one of my now homely features to the black-haired beauty in the video. I could never compete with such perfection. For three years I’ve been trapped in the mom-zone, with snot on my sleeve and hair in a ponytail. I’ve thought little of my appearance, because I opted to focus on our daughter, on our home, on him. Apparently, Jack focused more on his dick.
I feel the envelope under my fingers and think about what kind of future I could even have. No husband and nowhere to live, since I have no job. My prospects are dreary.
“You can’t do that, Campbell,” Jen demands. “That’s not okay to offer up something and then not share it with the group.” She extends her hand to me and motions her fingers to hand over the mystery envelope.
I grab tightly to the tiny package and slowly bring it above the table. “Don’t you fucking dare,” Campbell snaps, stopping my hand from going any further. My eyes snap to hers. Aware the cursing offends me, she sighs, regrouping her thoughts. “I’m sorry, girls, but this is for Carly’s eyes only.”
Campbell levels her eyes at me, silently demanding I put the envelope away. “I’m sure things look pretty damn scary right now, and you know we are all here for you, but what’s in that package is for you only. You need to make the decision as to what path to take for yourself, without us interfering. All that letter does is lay out the options for you.”
“Campbell is right,” Vivian interrupts, noticing Jen’s irritation at being cut out of the mix. “Carly needs to figure things out for herself, and if she needs us, we’re here.” Vivian nods at me, emphasizing her words so I understand I‘m not going to go through this alone.
“That’s bullshit,” Jen huffs. “Dropping a bomb like this, handing her an envelope, and then turning her loose is pretty crappy. What kind of friend would I be if I said, ‘Good luck with that lying, cheating, asshole of a husband,’ and went on my way like it never happened? I’d be a shitty one.”
Jen folds her arms across her chest; her bouncing leg is practically vibrating the table. She is wound tight and I know I’m the only one who can diffuse the situation. I’ve been silent for much of this sit-down, just absorbing the shards of information that have shredded every piece of what I thought my life was. I’m numb from the shock, but Campbell is right, I need to process everything alone.
“I appreciate you three. I know you all have my best interest at heart, but right now I need to be alone and think things through,” I say, though my throat doesn’t want to cooperate and I choke on the words. Vivian squeezes my hand, encouraging me to finish my speech. “Jen, if I need a mob hit or torture instruments, you’ll be the first one I’ll call,” I add, smiling through the gathering tears. “But for right now, I need to just go home and hug my daughter.”
I gather my purse and sling it onto my shoulder. It feels ten times heavier upon leaving the coffee shop than when I entered. The envelopes are like bricks emotionally weighing me down. When I stand, my friends–my sisters–stand as well and each take a turn pulling me into their arms to give me their best hug of compassion. I then leave them still standing, expressions of concern and anger fixed on their faces.
Rushing through the parking lot, I barely make it to my car before the sobs break free from my chest. I let the tears fall as I mindlessly begin to drive around the city. It isn’t long before I find myself where it all started…in front of the dry cleaners where Jack and I first met.
I leave the car running and just sit, my eyes fixed on the door of the cleaners. People keep coming and going and I almost expect Jack to walk through the door. I find myself asking the question: If I had the chance to do it all over again, would I take it? Was I blissfully happy with Jack? Yes. Do I love him and the life we had together? I thought so. If anything, I’m thankful for the daughter our marriage gave me. I would do it all over again, heartache and all, if I still had Olivia on the other end.
The diamonds of my wedding ring shimmer in the sunlight and I twirl the gold band around my slim finger. Something so tiny that is so significant; something so meaningful that now carries so little meaning. I allow it to slide past my knuckle, flirting with the idea of removing it completely when I hear my phone ding from inside my purse. Opening the satchel, Campbell’s envelope reveals itself, its contents taunting me. I carefully open the package and allow the contents to spill across the passenger seat: two business cards, a check for a very large sum of money, and a letter from Campbell.