“Actually, Beth, I never gave you a second thought. I prefer my lovers to be passionate and alive. You never did fit the bill. Still don’t, I see. If you ladies will excuse me.” Shannon left all three women standing with their mouths open, one laughing, the other two speechless.
A prickling along the back of her neck made her pause. It was the same feeling she always got just before she caught Caroline staring at her. Her heart beat against her chest and she suddenly felt lightheaded.
She maneuvered around several couples laughing loudly and past the buffet table. She knew that unless she left now, she wouldn’t be able to avoid Caroline all night. She didn’t think Caroline would come. She had said as much at the race and when Shannon couldn’t help herself
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and had Googled Caroline last week, a press release from NASA stated that she had accepted a position and would immediately be entering the astronaut training program.
What would she see when she turned around? More precisely, who would she see with Caroline? It had been a little more than two months since she had seen her in Australia and Caroline had been celebrating with Fran. That was one of many images that kept her awake at night.
Finally ready to face Caroline and whoever she brought with her, Shannon turned around.
It was about goddamned time, Caroline thought. She had been nervously following Shannon around the ballroom for fifteen minutes before she turned her way. She was stunning in her faux tuxedo, deep red shirt, and shiny black loafers. Her hair was a little longer, but not much. She looked tired and thinner but still wore that same cloak of edgy confidence and looked totally at ease in this crowd.
She had scoured the room when she first arrived for any sign of Shannon. Even though her name was on the list of attendees, Caroline didn’t know if Shannon would actually be there. She had tried and failed miserably during the past week not to get her hopes up lest she be disappointed.
Caroline knew there was music playing but didn’t hear anything except the drumming of her heart and the pounding in her ears. When their eyes met, her stomach flipped several times and her hand shook so bad she almost spilled her cocktail. It was that same look. The same intense gaze as if Shannon could see right through her and into her soul and know what she was thinking. If that were true, Shannon would know that Caroline had thought about her often in the last few weeks.
She had relived their one night together in Austria more times than she could count, remembering and savoring each taste and touch of her. She had shed a million tears in the last two months over losing her again.
Especially after realizing she was hopelessly in love with her.
She approached Shannon and watched the expression on her face. There was a spark of joy that was quickly covered up with steely reserve. Caroline wet her lips nervously as she closed the distance between them.
“Hello, Shannon. It’s good to see you.” Caroline was surprised
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that her voice sounded normal. She was outwardly calm and restrained but what she really wanted to do was throw herself in Shannon’s arms and never let go. Her heart threatened to stop when Shannon didn’t immediately reply.
“You too. I didn’t know you’d be here. I didn’t expect a renowned astrophysicist, soon-to-be-astronaut, would come to a small town class reunion.”
Caroline’s chuckle came out sounding more like a strangled cry.
“Hardly. I just got my Ph.D. and I haven’t even started work yet.”
The fact that she had postponed her start date with NASA she kept to herself. Somehow she had made it through defending her dissertation, and just barely at that. She was an emotional mess and knew that if she didn’t get her shit together before starting at NASA she would fail and fail miserably.
“Maybe I wanted everyone to see what a swanky private school can produce?” Caroline continued trying to lighten her mood. “Maybe I wanted to relive my youth?” Shannon laughed. Caroline jumped off the cliff of her emotions. Her love for Shannon gave her the strength to take the first step. “Maybe I just wanted to see you.”
Caroline said it so quietly and calmly it caught her off guard. She knew what she wanted to say to Shannon, had practiced it dozens of times, but she hadn’t expected to say it within the first three minutes.
Her world was spinning, and she was being carried along for the ride.
“I’m sorry. That didn’t come out quite as I had planned.” Her heart jumped back in her throat and for a moment she thought she might be sick. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” Caroline glanced around at the noisy crowd. She heard the faint pleading in her voice. She desperately wanted to talk to Shannon. No she needed to talk to her. To explain, to ask for another chance, to beg if she had to.
Shannon lowered her eyes and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Then she looked at Caroline as if deciding if she would say yes or no. Caroline got very nervous.
“Sure, how about outside? There’s a nice patio across the courtyard.” Shannon motioned in the direction of the exit doors.
Caroline led the way feeling Shannon’s eyes on her bare back.
She had chosen her dress carefully for just this occasion. She was the
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opposite of her techno-geek degree and was bound and determined to look perfect if she was lucky enough to see Shannon again. Fran had the fashion sense Caroline lacked and the checkbook to pay for a designer label and had gone with her to pick out the Kate Spade dress.
The deep plum color of the dress complemented her dark hair and complexion and more than half the men in the room had looked twice when she entered. The high neckline gave no indication of the plunging back that tapered to a straight skirt that hung just above her knees.
Black sheer stockings and matching pumps completed her outfit. Her hair was up in a French braid, accentuating her bare shoulders. Her jewelry was a simple silver watch and diamond stud earrings. She had barely recognized herself when she looked in the mirror.
Shannon had to remember to put one foot in front of the other as she followed Caroline out of the room and across the atrium to the patio. She was stunned by Caroline’s admission that she wanted to see her. She had as much as told her to drop dead months ago. Whatever could she want to say to her now?
Caroline was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. She was sophisticated, lovely, and every degree a very successful woman.
It took everything she had to wait for Caroline to speak.
“Are you still riding?”
Shannon chuckled. She hadn’t been on a bike since the finals.
“Not much. I own a bike shop in Big Bear, California. It’s just a small place. You know, a few bikes, some gear, that sort of thing. It doubles as a ski shop in the winter.” Shannon had bought the shop several years earlier as an investment and had barely stepped foot in it. Until recently.
She had taken to spending more and more time in it trying to occupy her mind from persistent thoughts of Caroline.
“Sounds perfect for you.”
“Yeah, well a girl’s gotta do something to make a living.”
Good God, Caroline thought. We’re standing here talking as if we were long lost lovers who’ve just run into each other on the street. They were anything but, and she was not about to tiptoe around it again.
“I’ve missed you.” Caroline’s declaration came out of nowhere and she was not prepared for its powerful simplicity.
“Caroline—”
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