BELL: I don’t know about blame, but I could block.
Her reply has me laughing my ass off. Sexy and funny.
ME: Block me and I’ll have to start coming up to the hospital to talk to you.
I reply and now I’ve put it out there, I’m thinking it’s a good idea. I wait a few minutes and when I get no reply, I start to wonder if she thinks it’s too much, too soon. Leaving it be, I go about the rest of my morning with the idea to visit when I head into the burn unit later on this afternoon. I think if I can wear her down, I might be able to get her to cave.
I just have to be persistent.
“Hey there, Bell.” I push off the wall in front of the hospital elevators later that day.
“W-what are you doing here, Jesse?” Bell looks up, shocked to see me.
“Just finished up at the burn unit.” I nod to the wing where I spend one night a week holding a support group.
“Oh, right.” She shakes her head and I know she thought I was here for her. What she doesn’t know is I finished up an hour ago. I hung back waiting to see her.
“You finished for the night?” I ask, watching her gather herself. I like that she gets flustered around me. Probably too much.
“Yeah, just did a double.” She fumbles in her bag searching for something.
“Want to get something to eat?” I ask, watching her reaction and the little tells she gives.
“Umm,” she stumbles, vying for time to shut me down. I can see the way her eyes skirt all over my face, yet she can’t look me in the eye. She’s about to run, but I didn’t wait around for her to blow me off.
“I’m not taking no for an answer.” I take her arm in my hand and pull her to a stop.
“Text messages and stalking me at work. Should I be worried, Jesse?” She looks up at me, and the overwhelming urge to kiss her has me coming undone.
“Only if you say no,” I joke and watch her shake her head. “It’s just food, Bell.” I push, and I can see she wants to. See the need in her eyes when I reach for her. The way she holds herself around me. “Two friends, eating food,” I add. I don’t know what else to call what it is that is happening here, but friends seems like a good start.
“Okay, fine. Let me message my mom.” She gives in and I almost cringe when she says it. I feel like what we’re doing is wrong, when in fact it’s not.
“Good, let’s go.” I let her go and step back to follow her to the parking lot. “So how was your day?” I ask when she finishes typing out her text.
“Long,” she answers, dropping her phone in her bag. “What about you?”
“Yeah, had a few errands and the group session.” I shrug, not thinking much of my relaxed day. It’s not often they happen. The clubs always keep me busy, both Liquid and the Rebels, but with Nix and Kadence dealing with family shit, things have been quiet.
“Do you come to the burn unit often?” She finally looks up, giving me her eyes.
“Yeah, once a week. I used to come more often, but with Liquid and club shit, I really don’t get to come down as often as I like.”
“I don’t recall ever seeing you down there,” she notes, and now I’ve had a taste of her, I’m going to make it my mission she sees me more.
“You would know if you see me down there, Bell,” I joke, knocking her shoulder and she snorts.
“Seriously?” She stops and turns to me.
“Sorry, bad habit.” I smile, shrugging it off. I can’t help it. They are lame, but it’s too good not to go there. She shakes her head and continues walking.
“This is me. Where do you want to go to eat?” She stops at her car and opens the door.
“I’ll meet you at Happy Chef,” I tell her, eager for a good burger.
“Okay, meet you there.”
“Drive safe.” I wink and close her door. I walk back to my bike quickly to follow behind her. I know I won’t have much time with her, so I need to make the most of it.
We pull up to the front of Happy Chef a few minutes later. I park my bike, and walk over to Bell’s car.
“I can’t stay long,” she lets me know as we make it inside. The diner is busy, but there are a few tables in the back.
“Come on then, before you turn into a pumpkin,” I joke and move her toward the back.
“Hey, no making fun of me,” she says, sliding into the first free booth.
“Okay, no pumpkin jokes. Got it.” I wink and slide in next to her.
“I’m serious, Jesse. I already get a lot of flack from my friends for my situation. I don’t need anymore,” she whispers into her menu.
“Hey.” I stop and wait for her to look up. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I won’t go there,” I promise and she nods. I don’t know how she does it, how she pulls off being so calm after everything her and her family have been through.
“Thanks.” She smiles and goes back to her menu. I watch her for a few moments, observing how she scans the menu, her eyes moving over each word as she weighs up her options. I take note how the slight dip in her chin deepens as she moves her lips, mouthing each word, and the way her tongue pokes out after a few words. I take it all in and realize I’m sitting here, staring, getting lost in the way she is reading a menu and I know I’m fucked.
I, Jesse Carter, am fucked.
“Text messages, stalking and now staring. I think I need a restraining order, Mr. Carter.” Bell looks up, catching me.
“Well, by all means, sweetheart, but I must warn you, I don’t think it would help.” I sit back and make myself comfortable. “Which would be a problem. I’m too good-looking for jail.” Her eyes light up at my challenge but she doesn’t argue. Instead, she watches me closely, running her eyes over my face. I know I’m laying it on thick, but it’s the way I am. Never one to take life seriously, I patiently wait for her to come back with something funny. “You can’t deny it, can you?” I whisper, watching the dimple on the left side of her cheek deepen as we lock eyes. I cock a brow.
“Fine, you’re right, you’re too pretty. I’ll let it slide this time, but watch it, friend,” she says, and I don’t miss her tone on the word friend. I don’t give a fuck how she sees it, how she thinks it’s going to be. At this stage, I’ll take her any way I can get her.
And fuck it if that makes me a goner.
I’m already lost. What’s the point in fighting it?
“So let me get this straight. You were a firefighter, a Marine, and now you’re a biker?” She sounds sleepy asking her question. I know I should probably end the call, but it’s becoming the best part of my day when we talk over the phone late at night. It’s been a week since I had dinner with Bell. A week of trying every day to get away to see her, but I haven’t had the chance. Between Liquid and the club, I’ve been stretched thin. Which is why I’ve been calling every night.
“Yeah, I told you this last week,” I tell her, remembering the conversation we had about my past over dinner at the Happy Chef. The one time I’ve ever talked about why I was no longer a firefighter.
“You did?” She shuffles and I know she’s sitting up.
“You’re beginning to forget our talks, Bell. What am I going to do with you?” I tease, hoping to change the subject. I don’t want to talk about something that plagues me constantly.
“What about you? Did you always want to be a nurse?”
“Not really. It’s something Paige wanted to do.” I catch the sadness in her voice and it twists something in me. I wish whatever feelers we have out there, would hurry up and fucking give us something. Jackson and even T’s men are all on it, but so far we’ve got nothing.
“So you decided to be a nurse for your sister?” I push, wanting to know more and more about her.
“I guess. I didn’t think about it. I had to decide and I wanted to do something to remember her. For my mom and dad to be proud,” she answers, and it hits me like a punch to the stomach. Bell and I are somewhat alike. Doing things to please our parents.