“What are you so afraid of, Jesse?
“I’m afraid you’ll be another person I fail.”
“I don’t believe that.” She shakes her head, and of course she doesn’t. Bell is so innocent; she can’t even see when the big bad wolf is banging on her door.
“You don’t have to believe it, sweetheart. I know it and that’s enough.”
“Jesse, I see you. I see you more than you think. I see you at the hospital, helping them down in the burns unit. I see the way you stepped up and offered to help me find Paige. The way you talk about your club. I see you, Jesse Carter. I see everything about you.”
“You see what I allow you to see, Bell. What I allow everyone to see.” I start to take my frustration out on her. She thinks she knows me, thinks she can see me, but I know better.
“You think you have everyone fooled?” She sits up and rights her dress. “You hide behind this fun-loving person, cracking your lame jokes. You don’t have me fooled, Jesse.”
“You should go,” I punch out as the walls start to close in around me. Fuck, why is she pushing this?
“I’m not going anywhere.” She squares her shoulders and I know she wants to have it out.
“I don’t want you here,” I sneer when I have nothing left to argue.
“Because I’m right? You want me to leave because I’m right.” She stands from the bed and moves closer.
“No, because you’re so wrong that I’m itching to show you just how fucked up I am,” I tell her and she shakes her head in disappointment. The disappointment is almost worse coming from her. Until I remember I live with it every day. Better to face it sooner rather than later.
“What happened to you?” she whispers, and even if I had all day to tell her the fucked existence of my life, I don’t think I could bear her pity. “Let me in, Jesse. Show me what you’re trying to hide.”
I hold her in my arms wishing I could let her in, but know I can’t. “Just drop it,” I tell her, leaning down to kiss her. I know she won’t stop, so I try a different tactic. “I’m going to take care of you, Bell,” I say, walking her back to the bed. I push her back and follow her down. My dick stirs to life again and I decide I need to get back to what we were doing.
She knows what I’m doing—hiding—but she lets me have that play.
“Jesse.” She looks up wanting to fight but I won’t allow it.
“Shh.” I move between her legs, spreading them wide. She doesn’t shy away from me this time, and I’m fucking grateful I get to see the view. Her pretty pink lips are still swollen from the orgasm I just gave her. “Fucking hell, you’re fucking perfect, Bell,” I tell her and watch a small smile threaten to appear.
I fucking love that about her. As much as she is innocent she still trusts what I say. Knows I’m not fucking around. “I’m going to fuck you now, baby. The way I should have the first time.” I lean down and kiss her neck.
“The first time was perfect, Jesse.” But we both know that isn’t true. Pulling back, I rip my shirt over my head and make fast work on my jeans. Her eyes find my dog tags first, and then move to the tattoo on my side.
“You hide your ink,” she states as I reach over for a condom. I’m not surprised by the statement or the shock in her tone.
“Not hiding, just choose wisely what I want.” I don’t have anything against ink, but other than my club tattoo on my back and the piece Sy has been working on, I’m clean.
“What is it?” Her hand reaches out, running a finger along the intricate details of the skull.
“Just some piece I drew.”
“You drew this?” She sits up and follows a path leading around to my back. Shades of black move into grey as her finger follows the design into a rose. Names of fallen brothers all hidden in the piece and represented in a contrast of good and evil. Life and death.
“It’s amazing, Jesse.” Her eyes come back to mine, and for a second, I think she might see through it all. The beauty and decay that is my life.
“Why are you still dressed?” I move the attention off me and direct it on her. The corners of her mouth twitch but she doesn’t respond.
“Get naked, dirty girl,” I demand, then watch her lose the dress. Her tits are packed away in some lacy bra shit and my hands itch to reach out and tear the offending item off. “I want to see every inch of you, sweetheart,” I encourage and watch her shaky hands reach back and unclip her bra. Her tits spill out and my hand moves to one, taking it in my hand. I’ve always been a tit man, but the bitches I take to bed are normally full of silicone. I know hers are natural and I fucking love it.
“You have amazing tits, baby,” I tell her as I move to place the small pink nipple in my mouth.
“Ahh,” she moans as I roll the tight bud between my teeth.
“Fucking amazing,” I tell her, then move to the other. She’s so responsive, while still holding onto her innocence.
Her hands move to my shoulders, her gentle touch, sending me into a tailspin. I pull back and take my cock in my hand. Her eyes follow my movement.
“See what you do to me? My cock knows what he’s about to get, and fuck, if he isn’t happy about it.” I play and she shakes her head. I roll the condom down my length, move between her legs and let the tip of my cock rest at her entrance. “You okay?” I ask, suddenly worried it won’t be good for her.
“Yes, it isn’t the first time.” She laughs but it doesn’t calm me.
Fuck, I need to make it good for her.
I take my cock and slowly run it back and forth along her wetness, before tapping her clit a few times. My body is eager to sink back inside of her, but I know I have to do it slowly.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I admit, feeling unsure, again. Fuck me, I’m beginning to feel grateful she didn’t tell me.
“Jesse, I’m not going to break. Please.” Her hands lock around my neck and she pulls me down to her. I don’t fight it, letting my cock find where it needs to be, pushing only a little bit to enter. She doesn’t tense; instead, she spreads her legs wider to accommodate me.
“Oh,” she squeaks, when I push a little harder and I halt.
“Are you okay?” I ask and she nods. But I don’t know if I trust her.
“Don’t go all soft on me, Jesse. Please, I want this,” she encourages and it’s all I need to sink all the way in. I push in, feeling her heat hug my cock tightly, and I take a minute to savor the moment. The tightness of her pussy encasing me feels good. Fucking too good.
“Move,” she moans, and I don’t have to be told twice. My hips start pumping, slowly at first. Keeping my eyes on her face, I watch carefully to see how she responds. When her eyes roll back, I know she’s into it.
“Touch those big tits for me, sweetheart,” I tell her, watching her hands move at my command. “Now show me how you want to be touched, so I know for next time.” I continue to slide in and out of her as both her thumbs and forefingers roll each nipple. My eyes lock onto her movements. She pulls hard and the sight of it excites me more.
“You like it rough,” I push out, building my strokes.
“Yes,” she moans, her back arching, tilting her hips up with each of my thrusts. My hands move to her inner thighs, pushing them back, I try to find a way to bury myself deeper.
“Fucking feels so good, baby,” I moan, wishing it would never end. I could fucking get lost in her, over and over.
“Jesse,” she softy cries, and I start to relax into it. My balls tense and I know I’m not going to last much longer, but I need her to come with me.
“Yes, sweetheart. You need to let it go,” I urge, my orgasm calling me closer and closer.
“I can’t.” She shakes her head, fighting it. I release my hold on her leg, and move to her clit.
“Ahhh.” She jolts at the touch, and I work it hard to help push her over.