“I know you’re angry, Jesse.” My hands move to the side of my panties. Hooking my fingers around the cotton material, I slowly slide them down my legs. “But I want to explain.” My eyes never leave his stare. “You have to understand why I did it.” I keep pushing, torn between wishing he would talk to me and just letting him take his anger out on me through sex.
He doesn’t respond in words; instead, his hands cover mine, forcing the material faster. One leg at a time, I step out of them and let Jesse throw them to the side.
“Spread ‘em.” His head rests back against his pillow. With shaking hands, I slowly part myself and give him a better view.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” His hand snakes out, running the tip of his finger through my wetness. A soft moan vibrates over my lips.
“Take your shirt off, sweetheart, and sit on my face.” I do as I’m told. Done with talking, I rip my shirt over my head, throwing it to the side, and move to stand directly over his face. His body slides down the bed until his mouth is directly under me. Still standing, I look down at his face.
Lust.
Hunger.
Need.
And anger all flick over his face as he waits for me.
“Drop to those knees, babe. Need to taste your sweetness.” Eager for us to be okay again, I don’t waste any more time and lower myself to just above his face.
“Fuck yeah,” he growls before pulling me down hard the rest of the way.
My legs spread wide to accommodate him and my hands find the headboard to stop myself from falling. He doesn’t linger, his tongue lashing out against my clit, drawing more pleasure than I deserve right now.
“Oh, God, Jesse.” My head rolls back as need pulses from within me. Jesse’s grip tightens at my hips as he pulls me down harder against his mouth. “Fuck,” I groan, starting to sound like Jesse and his filthy mouth as I grind my pussy on his face.
He growls his approval, the sound vibrating against my core, urging me to work faster.
“Yes,” I moan, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thighs. I don’t want it to end. I want to stay like this forever, sitting on Jesse’s face while he makes me come undone.
“Jesse, I—” I pant, the wave hitting me hard before I can finish my sentence. It only pushes Jesse further, his tongue lashing at me harder, faster and more brutally as he feasts on me like a starved man.
Jesus, can he breathe down there?
The thought hits me fast, before being replaced with another wave of pleasure. “Jesse, I’m gonna go again,” I prepare him, finding the rhythm in my hips. His own rhythm changes, a more demanding force takes over—owning and claiming me. “Yes, right there, Jesse. Don’t stop,” I beg, riding him with uninhibited movements in my search for release. Taking over, he holds me down, his grip tight and controlled.
“Hmmm,” he growls again, words not needed. I know he’s enjoying this. The way his mouth is devouring me, his enjoyment apparent with each lick and suck.
“Too much, Jesse, it’s too much,” I plead, as another wave builds. Did the last one even end?
He doesn’t let up, so instead, I try something else. “I need you, Jesse, need your cock.” I look down and watch as his eyes change instantly. A new power of possession washes over them and before I can even blink, he pushes me down his body, lifts me up, and lines his cock up with my entrance. I gaze down our bodies, waiting patiently for the moment we connect.
“Bell, look at me,” Jesse demands, breaking my stare.
My eyes travel up his body, over his abs, his hard chest, his wet mouth, to his eyes. I don’t even have a minute to be embarrassed that I’m coating his chin; I’m locked into his eyes. “Wanna see your face when I slide in, sweetheart,” he says while lowering me down onto him.
“Ahh.” I force my eyes to stay open and not be drawn in to the moment of unease. He controls my hips, lowering me slowly down his length. I want to say it’s perfect, but the new angle has me tense. What if I can’t do this?
“Relax, baby, you’re doing good,” Jesse encourages. I know I probably look like a deer in headlights, but I can’t help it. Everything is still so new.
“Jesse, you know I’ve never…” I find myself making excuses, but I know there is no need. Not with him.
“Sweetheart, I’m gonna teach you,” he says and my stomach clenches. I like that. A lot.
“Jesus, you feel so good, baby,” he moans and I find myself wanting to roll my hips.
“Bell, keep still or this will be over before I even get to show you how I like it.”
“What, you don’t like this?” I tease, digging deeper and rolling my hips again. His hold on my hips tightens, stopping me from moving.
“I’m not kidding, Bell. I’m in over my head with you, woman. Keep fucking still or I’m gonna blow my load like a horny sixteen-year-old.” I smile at his comment but don’t try to push it.
“Quit smiling too. It’s only making this harder,” he scolds and I can’t help but laugh.
“Jesus, fuck, don’t laugh, you’re practically milking my cock.” I close my mouth shut and try to keep it in. Keeping a straight face, I gather myself and wait for Jesse to sort himself.
“Good girl. I’m gonna start moving now. You tell me if it’s too much,” he gently coaxes while lifting his hips. Nodding, I force myself to relax and let my body go, allowing him to take me anyway he wants.
There’s something intimate about our position—him under me looking into my eyes, his hands controlling our movements.
“This is nice,” I sigh, catching his rhythm and meeting him with a roll of my hips.
“Nice?” he grunts, moving me higher off his cock then slamming me back down.
“Jesus,” I moan. Heat hits my face and a new kind of ecstasy spirals toward me.
“Thought so.” Jesse smirks, but I don’t have it in me to comment. I’m too lost in the moment of this new wave of desire. Warmth swirls around me. My breath shortens and my mind fogs in its own mist of satisfaction. I’m lost in the moment. Lost in Jesse helping me ride to orgasm.
“Fuck me, you’re so fucking beautiful. I could sit here and watch you ride my cock all day, Bell,” he murmurs while I’m in the throes of my orgasm.
“Hmmm,” I moan in answer, not caring if I make a lick of sense. I never want this to end.
“My girl has a greedy pussy. I fucking love it.” Jesse chuckles, his thrusts growing faster.
“And I love you,” I reply, throwing my head back. Jesse’s body tenses under me and instantly, I realize what I said. “I mean I love you doing this. Don’t stop,” I scramble, wishing I could take it back.
“Bell, I can’t.” Time stands still after those three words and I’m left trying to bring myself back.
“I didn’t mean it, Jesse, I swear,” I lie. Panic washes over me, replacing my exhilaration with dread. He holds my stare for a few more minutes before taking my waist and slamming me back down on him. I squeal out in surprise before need takes over again. I knew I just messed up, but it was a slip. I don’t really love Jesse. It’s lust. I wouldn’t even know what love is. I shake off the insecurity that’s burning my skin.
“You don’t love me, Bell,” Jesse punches out each time he slams me down.
“No, I don’t, Jesse,” I agree, nodding along.
“Don’t fucking say that again,” he orders, his breath shortening.
“I promise, I won’t,” I answer, watching his biceps tense. His hold becomes painful but I don’t complain. I need this connection with him.
“Good, ‘cause I can’t love you back, Bell.” His words slam into me with brutal force, puncturing the protective layer around my heart and shattering it. Immediately, he shouts out his release and comes undone. Forcing my embarrassment down, I roll my head back, shut down my mind, and urge myself to be swept away in the moment. I knew deep down it wouldn’t be possible. His pleasure now brought me pain, but I did it anyway.