“Okay, it’s over,” Jackie said, taking Kathy by the arm and leading her over toward the couch, on the opposite side of the room from Renny. He stood watching her, a look on his face that was a strange combination of anger and amusement. Then he turned and saw me looking, and as our eyes met I heard a soft hiss from a coiled Something inside and the distant rattle of leathery wings as it stretched and twitched uneasily in half readiness to rise and meet the thing that stared back at us from Renny’s hissing Something-
And then Renny turned away and the Passenger yawned and turned over and went back to its lazy nap and I was left wondering once again if I had really seen that threat in Renny’s eyes. What, if anything, would it steer him toward? And what had he done to Kathy? She seemed as angry at him as she had been at me-had Renny made her pee on the floor, too?
But before I could do any more than frame the questions, Astor spoke up again.
“Oh, oh,” Astor said, and her voice was reverent and hushed. “That’s the guy from the show Mom used to like. It’s on reruns all the time. What’s his name …?”
I turned around to see what she was talking about. Unfortunately, she was staring directly at Robert.
“You mean Robert?” I said. “Mom watches Robert’s old show?”
“Robert Chase,” Astor said with excitement. She stared at Robert with a hungry look and licked her lips. “I’ve seen him on TV, like, a hundred times.” There was a tone of yearning in her voice I had never heard from her before, and I realized that, as ridiculous as it might seem to me, Astor was starstruck-and with Robert, for God’s sake.
Still, I had obligations as her stepfather, as she had already reminded me, and I was willing to do almost anything to take her mind off Jackie’s little secret, so I pushed away the weary sigh that was trying to come out and replaced it with cheerful parental words. “Would you like me to introduce you?” I said. And Astor shot me a glance that made me think there might be some small hope of someday working my way back into her good graces.
“Hell, yes,” she said.
“Astor,” Debs said warningly.
“I mean, yes, please, Dexter,” she amended, with a completely artificial look of angelic innocence on her face. “I really want to meet him.”
“Me, too,” Cody said, stubbornly refusing to be left out.
“Well,” I said, thinking of the Robert I had come to know far too well, “I hope you aren’t disappointed.”
Astor snorted and shook her head. “Dexter, he’s a star,” she said, her voice laced with pity for my stupidity. “How can we be disappointed?”
I could think of a dozen ways off the top of my head, all based on my knowledge of Robert, but it would probably be better to let him crush her dreams all by himself, so I just said, “Okay. Come on.”
“You know him?” Astor said. “You really know him?”
“Oh, yes, I know him,” I said. “Come on.”
I walked over to where Robert was struggling with his repugnant Hawaiian shirt; it seemed to be a few sizes too small, and he couldn’t quite get all the buttons done. “I haven’t gained an ounce,” he was saying to the scary woman. “Not one ounce in fifteen years-the size is wrong. Or it shrank when you cleaned it.”
“I don’t do shrink,” the woman growled at him.
“Well, somebody did-look at this!” Robert held open the shirt and showed his bare chest. It was smooth and hairless, as if he waxed it, but it must be said that it was also lean and smoothly muscled. “There’s no fat there, none at all!” he told her.
The woman-Sylvia? — stepped in to Robert and pulled at the shirt; she couldn’t make it close either. She hissed loudly, and then jerked the shirt off him. “Teddy!” she snarled, and the young man who’d been carrying uniforms hurried over.
“Sylvia, the arm patches are all coming off, too, and we don’t have enough hot glue for-”
Sylvia flung Robert’s shirt at the poor guy, and he caught it with his face. “Take this,” she snarled. “Go get another just like it-two sizes bigger.”
“I don’t know if they have any more in this pattern?” Teddy said plaintively, peeling the shirt off his face. “The man said they-”
Sylvia closed her eyes. “Go,” she said quietly, but in a voice that was boiling with dreadful menace, and Teddy fled with the shirt.
“Hey, Dexter!” Robert said. He swung his eyes onto Cody and Astor. “Whatcha got here, huh?”
Astor looked at me with brand-new, never-before-seen respect in her eyes. “You do know him,” she said. “You know Robert Chase!”
“Of course he knows me,” Robert said happily. “He’s been teaching me about forensics all week. For my new show.” He took a step closer to the kids and held out a hand to Cody. “Howdy, partner,” he said.
“Hi,” Cody said, staring at him solemnly, and then slowly shaking Robert’s hand.
Robert turned to Astor and held out his hand. “And what’s your name, beautiful?”
Astor blushed. It was an astonishing sight, something I had never seen her do in all the long years I had known her. She blushed, and held out her hand to Robert as if she was reaching for the crown jewels.
“Astor,” she said, in a voice so soft it might have been Cody’s.
“Astor,” Robert repeated, smiling at her. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He beamed at her, holding her hand for a few seconds too long, and then turned to me. “Dexter, holy smokes, you said you had kids, but you didn’t tell me your daughter was a supermodel.” Astor’s face turned even redder, but Cody frowned. Clearly he was feeling slightly left out.
“Well, what have we got here?” came the loud and frightening voice of Sylvia the costume witch. I turned around, prepared to draw a sword and slay her before she could eat my kids, but instead I found her beaming.
“These are Dexter’s kids,” Robert told her. “You know, my technical adviser.”
“Well, they are beautiful!” Sylvia gushed. Her face split into something that was probably supposed to be a fond smile; it was hard to say, since Sylvia’s face was clearly not made for such things. But she smiled and looked at Cody and Astor with maternal affection, and I could not have been more amazed if I had seen a balanced federal budget.
Sylvia knelt down between Cody and Astor with that same fond and phony-looking smile on her face. “Hello, little man,” she said to Cody. She put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, my-you’re very strong-are you a football player?”
Cody was trying very hard not to look pleased. “Soccer,” he said in his too-soft voice.
“That’s a wonderful sport,” Sylvia cooed at him. “What’s your name?”
“Cody,” he said. He was clearly torn between resentment at being treated like an idiot and delight at having someone pay him that much attention, but it looked like delight was winning.
“My name is Sylvia,” she told him. “I’m in charge of all the clothes that the actors wear for the show.”
Cody nodded. “Costumes,” he said.
Sylvia clapped her hands in delight. “That’s right!” she said. “So you’re smart, too!”
Naturally enough, Astor didn’t like being left out. She rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, brother,” and Sylvia glanced her way.
“And what’s your name, dear?” Sylvia said.
“My name is Astor,” she said. “I’m going to be an actress.”
“Well,” Sylvia said, “all little girls think that.”
Astor made a sound that was almost a Sylvia-like hiss. “I’m almost twelve,” she said.
“Hey, she could do it,” Robert said, pushing his way in next to Astor. “I mean, she’s got the looks for it; that’s for sure.” And Astor looked up at him even more adoringly, if possible.
“So, Dex,” Robert said, “great kids, and glad you brought ’em-but what are you doing here on a Saturday? Um-and with her …?” He nodded toward Jackie, and although I had never before seen a nod of the head express contempt, somehow he managed it. But after all, he was a working actor. “I mean, uh …” he said, raising an eyebrow, and clearly waiting for a reasonable explanation.