“That is not true on every occasion that phenomenon occurs,” Nerdly told his wife.
“All right now...” Pauline started, her face blushing.
“Now wait a minute here,” Celia suddenly spoke up. “Are you saying that you’re okay with him fantasizing about Pauline, Sharon?”
“I am indeed saying that,” Sharon confirmed. “After all, I reap the benefits of it, do I not? Besides...” She looked at Pauline with a shy smile. “ ... Pauline is sexually appealing on several levels. While I’ve never really desired a sexual encounter with a female and do not consider myself bisexual, I do have this underlying attraction for Pauline specifically.”
“No kidding?” Greg asked, his interest perking up considerably.
“I would not lie about something like that,” Sharon said.
“You’re saying you’d get it on with Pauline if the opportunity presented itself?” Jake asked, fascinated by this side track as well.
“It would depend on the circumstances and the mood at the time, of course,” Sharon said. “And it couldn’t be just me and her together. Bill would have to be there as well.”
“I believe I would consent to such an encounter,” Nerdly said in all seriousness.
They both looked at Pauline, who was no longer blushing, but was smiling in amusement. “Well now,” she said. “Perhaps you should have spoken to me about this a year or so ago, before I hooked up with Obie. Now we’d have to include him in the fun as well.”
Bill was shaking his head. “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t think I could perform adequately if there were another man in the room during the encounter.”
“Are you kidding me right now, Nerdly?” Jake put in. “Remember those nights out on the road before you and Sharon got together? You had no problem whipping out the old John Thomas and plowing through a two by two while we cheered you on.”
“What’s a two by two?” asked Greg, interest clearly in his eyes.
“It’s when you get two groupies and...” Jake started.
“All right then,” Jill suddenly cut in. She seemed quite flustered by the turn the discussion had taken. “How about we talk some business now?”
“Prude,” Pauline accused.
“Yes,” Jill agreed, “and quite comfortable with my prudidity, thank you very much. Shall we move onto good news now?”
“I think the fact that a man’s wife is willing to have a threesome with another chick qualifies as good news,” Jake said.
“Hear, hear,” Greg put in, raising his water glass in salute and earning himself a playful slap on the shoulder by his wife.
“Financial good news,” Jill said, glaring at Jake.
Jake gave a mock sigh. “If you must,” he said.
Jill shook her head a few times in consternation. It was certainly interesting working for this bunch, that was true. And profitable as well. “All right,” she told them. “In a nutshell, here it is. I’ve gone over the numbers from the first quarter of 1993 and KVA Records is officially operating well in the black now.”
A cheer erupted from the table as everyone basked in this announcement.
“We’ve recouped our investment then?” asked Greg.
“That and a considerable amount more,” Jill replied. “Let me pass out copies of the financial statement for you all.” With that, she pulled a sheaf of paperwork from her briefcase. They were three pages each and each set had a staple placed at a precise forty-five degree angle exactly one quarter inch from the upper left corner. “Just like back in school. Take one and pass them down.”
They obeyed, passing the pile around the table until everyone had a sheet before them. Pauline, Greg and Sharon all opened theirs and began to look at it. Jake, Nerdly and Celia just let them sit there.
“Okay then,” Jill said. “Let’s start with the basics here. As of the close of business hours in the Eastern Time Zone on March 31, 1993, the end of the first quarter, Celia’s album, The Struggle, has sold one million, four hundred and ninety-seven thousand, six hundred and twelve copies during said quarter. Jake’s album, Can’t Keep Me Down, has sold one million, one hundred and twelve thousand, sixty-seven copies during the quarter. As you can see in the table there on page 1 of the document, that means that Celia has brought in ... uh...” She looked at Jake, who was raising his hand and waving it. “Yes, Jake?”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Jake said. “Good presentation, really it is, but ... well ... we all have the exact figures here in front of us, right?”
“Uh ... right,” she said.
“For the sake of brevity, could you maybe just round your numbers to the nearest hundred thousand or so during the discussion?”
“Uh ... well ... I suppose,” she said. “If everyone wants that?”
“Is that cool with everyone?” Jake asked the table. Everyone gave some version of a nod. “Everyone is cool with it. Proceed please.”
“Right,” Jill said, thrown off stride a bit. She quickly recovered however. “Anyway, as I was saying. Celia has sold nearly 1.5 million copies. Jake has sold 1.1 million. The wholesale rate we are paid for these copies is six dollars apiece. That means Celia has brought in approximately 9 million dollars in sales and Jake has brought in approximately 6.6 million, for an approximate total of 15.6 million dollars in revenue.”
“Not bad at all,” Jake said approvingly.
“Especially for a has-been, huh?” Celia added with a smile.
Jake held out his hand across the table to her and they engaged in a brief high-five.
“All right,” Jill said. “Before we get too excited here, let’s remember what the definition of ‘revenue’ is. It’s the income received from selling goods or services before the expenses of operation and production are deducted. And the expenses and production of these two albums were considerable.”
“Accountants are such downers,” Jake whispered to Sharon, who giggled a little at his words.
“Be that as it may,” Jill said, “I will now review the expenses of KVA during the quarter. Our primary expense set against that 15.6 million in revenue are the royalties KVA is responsible for paying out. By far, the largest chunk of royalties goes to Blake Family Records and Blake Studios. The label itself pulls in forty percent royalties on each album sold while the studio pulls in an additional three percent, which, when totaled, means that Oren Blake II pulls forty-three percent of that revenue right off the top.”
“I still think that is an outrageous amount,” said Greg.
“When you think of it out of context, perhaps,” said Nerdly. “Keep in mind, however, that when Intemperance and La Diferencia were selling millions of albums for National Records and Aristocrat Records respectively, we, the musicians and composers of the product, were only being compensated at a rate of ten percent of the gross revenue.”
“And that’s the industry standard,” Jake said. “I’ll take what we’re getting as far as percentage goes. We all knew what it would be going in.”
“I suppose,” Greg said.
“In any case, Blake Records and Blake Family Studios are only the most significant royalty payee that KVA is responsible for compensating. Don’t forget about the musicians, however. Mary Kingsley and Cynthia Archer each get one percent of both albums. Ben Ping and Theodore Duncan each get one half of a percent of both albums. Phillip Genkins receives one quarter of a percent of both albums. Laura Best receives one half of a percent of Celia’s album and one eighth of a percent of Jake’s. This all adds up to a grand total of 46.75 percent total royalties being paid out on The Struggle and 46.38 percent royalties being paid out for Can’t Keep Me Down.”
“Which leaves 53.25 and 53.62 percent gross revenue after royalties respectively, correct?” said Nerdly after only the briefest pause to do arithmetic times two in his head.