PC Thomason watched the flapping uniform move off down the corridor and was still thinking about CS spray as he pushedopen the door to the canteen.
In the canteen everything seemed normal, as though nothing had happened, the other coppers hadn’t heard about it.
He caught sight of Wendy Booth and Carrie Jones in front of full English breakfasts and they barely acknowledged him.
First Year Probationer PC Simon Thomason breathed a tremendous sigh of relief as he joined the queue at the stainless steel counter. Behind him the first snigger began to spread and various faces reddened as laughter was held in. Lips trembled as they tightened and cheeks blew out until it all became too much. And then in the room of twenty or more uniforms the uncontrolled laughter cracked the faces and shook the uniforms beneath them.
PC Simon Thomason stood rooted to the spot, plastic tray in trembling hands, dying a death that awaited all first year probationers. It was a playground, a vast nation-wide playground, and it was playtime again.
Deleted Scene II
“I’m going to be your Christmas present.” Maynard reached forward and turned the key. “See, kid, you got it wrong again.”
“What then?”
“Remember the pigs, my mother’s place? Thought you might come up and meet her and spend Christmas Day with us, that’s all. I’ll drive you back on Boxing Day, if you like.”
“What, like Christmas dinner? Turkey?”
“If you like.”
“Real pigs?”
“You’d have to get used to the smell.”
“That don’t bother me.”
“Well then?”
The wheels skidded on wet grass and they bounced back to the road.
“Left or right? Left is where you came from.” Maynard said. “Your call?”
The clouds had shouldered in again and rain pelted the windscreen. He turned on the wipers, for a moment blurring the patch of road caught in the headlights.
Jason or Brian or Noel said, “Can I feed the pigs?”
In the darkness Maynard smiled and turned right, north, away from the…city.
…
“OK, guys, thanks a lot. That’s a wrap. See you all next time. Oh, er, drinks at my place, yeah?”