The temperature was into the eighties now. Aunt Maureen had said it was going to be hot. Her and Uncle John had gone to church. Before leaving she came downstairs to see if Murdo had changed his mind. It was awkward saying no. But he hadnt said yes in the first place so it was not like he had changed his mind.
He carried on reading. Later Dad was coming towards him, carrying a chair from the patio. Is company okay? he asked.
Murdo grinned.
Dad gestured at the book. Any good?
Yeah.
Dad nodded, he sat back on the chair, closing his eyes into the sun. This is the life, he murmured.
Neither spoke for a while. Murdo moved to lift his cowboy novel but stopped when Dad spoke. The thing with church, he said, at one time, ye would have had nay option but to go. Whether ye believed in it or not. It’s still the same in some places.
Back home, said Murdo. Stornoway and these places.
Yeah but here too son it depends on the community. Some of Aunt Maureen’s friends, if ye didnay go to church they would send round a doctor, they would think ye were ill!
Murdo smiled.
Seriously, they’re strong on the church and ye just have to watch it.
Fundamentalists…
Not fundamentalists Murdo that’s where ye’re wrong. They’re just ordinary people.
Well Dad I saw their leaflets at the Gathering and like some of the things they were saying I mean they were just kind of — kind of silly. I’m not being cheeky.
Are ye not?
No.
Good. Ye know son I’ve got to say, maybe you dont know, how proud Aunt Maureen and Uncle John are of ye.
Murdo shifted on the chair, shaking his head and breathing loudly.
Honestly, said Dad, I think that was a wee thing about church ye know, I think they were wanting to show ye off! Because of yesterday, when ye were playing the guitar. One of their friends said they were “spellbound”; that was the word. Telling ye son that’s a real compliment. It’s a good compliment. It’s the kind of one people dont say unless they mean it. Really. That was you on guitar too…! God imagine the accordeon! Ye would have blown them away!
Murdo looked at him.
Naw but ye would have! Dad grinned. I’m no kidding ye son ye would have blown them away!
Dad I’m no wanting to blow anybody away.
No
Really, I’m no wanting to blow anybody away. Murdo sat forwards on his chair and was saying, It’s only to play with them Dad not to like beat them. How can ye beat them, ye cannay beat them, it’s daft saying it. Know what I mean, it’s just daft like it’s just eh — it’s daft. Murdo shook his head. Sorry Dad. I only mean like… I’m sorry.
Dad smiled. I’m no used to being called daft. Eh?
Murdo had lowered his head, was staring at the patio floor; and the edge of the table almost was white in places because where the sun, the way the sun affected it.
Dad clasped his hands on the table. I’m no used to being called daft.
It’s just ye see it was Chess led me. Chess Hopkins Dad he’s brilliant, he is just brilliant. Him and Clara, it’s just like great great music, just great. Clara is special; she is so so special. Like playing with them Dad, just playing with them… Murdo shook his head.
Aye well you’re special too. Dad looked away.
Murdo closed his eyes.
Ye are son.
Dad it’s not the same.
It is the same. Ye are. People thought that. That is what they thought. And they said it too. You disappeared! Dad smiled. I only wish… If ye had played the accordeon son, when ye had the chance. I mean ye had the chance. The band would have let ye play. Uncle John asked them and they said aye. He asked them for you. They said aye. It was you said no! Dad sighed. I’m not getting at ye. I just…I dont understand it. Usually ye play at the drop of a hat.
No I dont.
Yeah ye do, if anybody asks.
Not anybody.
Och yes ye do. Ye’re aye ready to give them a tune. Dont get me wrong, it’s nice that ye do. Ye did it with the black family. That’s what ye did with them. Ye did. I was there and saw ye.
No ye didnt Dad.
I was there.
Murdo smiled, shaking his head.
What do ye think it’s funny?
Murdo stopped smiling.
They ask ye to play and ye play: Uncle John asks ye and it’s Oh no. No. Dad stared at Murdo. That’s what ye said to Uncle John, No. Right there on that bloody dance floor in front of his friends. He’s gone to all that trouble asking the boy on the accordeon then you turn him down! I couldnay believe it! I couldnay! You have the cheek to turn him down!
Dad sat back shaking his head then sat forwards again and wagged his right forefinger at Murdo. It’s nothing to do with being bloody black so dont start that nonsense. You played for them but not for yer own family. That’s the point I’m making.
Dad
What did ye mean to hurt them? Eh? Did ye? You hurt Uncle John. You hurt him. And when ye hurt him ye hurt me; ye hurt me and ye hurt Aunt Maureen. That was a family thing Murdo. It goes deep. The same going to church. You had another chance and ye didnay take it. Aunt Maureen was wanting to show us off. We’re her nephews from Scotland. It’s a big deal.
But you didnt go either.
That’s right.
Well?
She asked you first.
Yeah but she asked ye Dad she asked ye!
That’s right she asked me, of course she asked me. She asked you and you said no then she asked me, and I said no. If you had said yes I would have said yes.
…
Ye didnay, ye said no. If you had gone I would have gone.
So ye wouldnt have left me in the house myself?
That’s one way of putting it.
So like ye cannay trust me?
Dad gazed at him.
Murdo shrugged.
I trust ye son but things happen.
What things?
Aw never mind, said Dad. Uncle John and Aunt Maureen will be home any minute.
Murdo turned his head. I’ve got my own life Dad. If I play I play. I play if I want to play. If I dont want to play then I dont play, and that’s that.
Exactly, ye’ve summed it up. Dad sighed. Look son when Uncle John asks ye to play the accordeon ye play the accordeon. That is what ye do. This is family, it’s a family obligation. It wouldnay have been hard son, not for you. Ye play that accordeon like a champion so ye should have played it for us. Just like ye played it for the black family. I still cannay get my head round that one! The first I heard ye play since Mum died. Coming round the back of that house. The middle of nowhere and all black people. And there ye are playing for them! Dad laughed briefly, then shook his head.
Dad
Well it’s true.
Dad it isnt, it isnt true at all. I wasn’t playing for them. Not for them. I was playing with them. You only came at the end, so ye only heard me, ye didnt hear Sarah’s granny.
Dad smiled.
Dad she’s famous. She’s a famous musician. Queen Monzee-ay, she’s a famous famous musician. Ye shouldnay bring her down.
I’m not bringing her down.
Ye are.
I’m not. I resent ye saying that Murdo I really do.
She’s a great musician.
I hear ye.
She’s playing that festival I was telling ye about.
Dad groaned. Nobody’s heard of any music festival except you. LaFayette’s just a wee town. Uncle John’s drove through it a hundred times.