‘You’ll be the undoing of me, Angel.’ He ran his hand through my hair. ‘No one’s ever made me lose control like this.’
‘Maybe, then,’ I began. I paused, self-conscious again, now the drug-like influence of my sex hormones had worn off. I was tired, suddenly, my eyelids growing heavy in the dusky evening light.
‘Maybe?’
‘Maybe…’ I hesitated, wondering if I was saying the right thing. ‘You’ll have to make an effort to regain it, later. After the club.’
He gave a short laugh, almost of disbelief. ‘Oh, make no mistake, my dear,’ he said. ‘You’ve got it coming. If you think I’ve forgotten about the…your…bus, you are greatly mistaken.’
His words sent a thrill through me, even in my soporific state, and I rolled towards him. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled into his chest, sated, both sexually and emotionally, for the first time since that night at the Castle, and within moments I was asleep.
Twenty Seven
Him
She looked so peaceful I didn’t like to wake her, so I let her sleep and took a shower, before running her a bath. I could feel myself growing hard again, remembering her slim legs, spread so invitingly; her soft breasts, rubbing against my chest as I pushed into her; her sun-kissed hair, twining and catching in my fingers. I shook my head, willing the memory from my mind. I knew I’d want to have her again, as soon as she woke up, and I didn’t want her to think it was just about the sex.
But, as I tried to think of something else, the image of Rick came back to me, tumbling and twisting, over and over, against the bleak backdrop of the building site. I rubbed at my hair, brusquely, with the towel, as if trying to shake the horror of that morning from my mind, and then headed back to the bedroom to dress.
She was stirring as I walked in and, as I sorted through my wardrobes for some appropriate attire, she sat up slightly and watched me. When I looked at her over my shoulder, she turned her head towards the window, as if embarrassed to be staring at my nakedness. That one small gesture of innocence was enough to wipe all thoughts of Rick from my mind. Fuck, I wanted her.
‘You don’t have to look away,’ I said. ‘I’m as much yours as you are mine.’
‘I…’ She nodded towards the window. ‘I was just admiring the view.’
I didn’t say anything, just looked at her, my eyebrows raised, and she smiled sheepishly.
‘Well, I was admiring the view,’ she amended, looking bashful. ‘You have the most fantastic body.’
‘As do you, Miss Anderton.’ I took a dinner shirt from my wardrobe, and pulled it on. ‘And I have a bath all ready for it. What can I tempt you with for dinner?’
‘Dinner?’ She looked faintly appalled. ‘We ate at the park.’
‘You ate half a scotch egg and a few strawberries.’ I took a dressing gown from the wardrobe and held it open for her. ‘That hardly constitutes dinner.’
She slid gracefully from the bed and let me wrap her in the fluffy gown. ‘I haven’t been eating much recently.’
‘I can tell.’ I couldn’t keep the reproving note from my voice. ‘It’s time you had a decent meal inside you.’
‘I…can’t eat,’ she mumbled. ‘I’m…too nervous.’
For a moment, I thought I’d misheard, but one look at her pinched face put paid to that notion. Her head had dropped and she couldn’t meet my eye.
‘Nervous?’ I almost laughed. ‘Is it me?’
She shook her head and smiled awkwardly. ‘Not, exactly. I’m just...’ She hesitated, before gesturing around her. ‘It’s just all this…you…us…the club…everything.’
‘Does it frighten you?’ When I thought about it, I wondered if Dominion would be too much for her. I thought back to her reaction in the playroom at the Castle. That whole scene would’ve been considered bland at Dominion.
‘Not exactly,’ she paused again. ‘It’s just a bit overwhelming.’
It was my turn to pause. It hadn’t occurred to me before that my life was anything but ordinary but, now she’d pointed it out, I realised it must seem strange. I took her in my arms and tipped her chin up until she was looking into my eyes. ‘I’ll never take you anywhere you don’t want to go, I promise. Nor do anything you don’t want me to do. That goes for everything, in the bedroom and out. I may have the authority, Angel, but you have the power of veto. All you have to do is tell me to stop.’
‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘It’s just…later on – after the club. After Leo, I…’
Sparkes, again. Suddenly, it all made sense. I pulled her into me and held her tight. ‘I’ll promise you one other thing. I’ll never raise my hand to you in anger, gorgeous,’ I nuzzled her ear. She smelt soft and fresh from her bath. ‘After the club…it’s meant to be pleasurable for both parties.’ I pulled away from her and looked at her intently. ‘Both, do you understand? If you don’t like it, what do you say?’
She stared back at me, her eyes still liquid and troubled. ‘Stop,’ she whispered.
I nodded. ‘That’s my girl. Just give it a try…see if you like it.’
‘And if I don’t?’
‘Then you know what to say.’
‘And you won’t be disappointed?’
I laughed. ‘I’ll be exceedingly disappointed.’
She looked crestfallen.
‘For five minutes,’ I continued, running my hand down her cheek. ‘And then, I’ll get over it. I’m a big boy. It won’t change anything, Angel.’ My words took me aback, even as I said them, but I realised they were the truth. Grace was more important to me than anything, regardless of how little time I’d known her. She had been all along. If it meant quitting the lifestyle, I’d take it.
‘I’m not Max,’ I added, thinking of his behaviour at Dominion the evening before.
‘Max?’ She looked puzzled.
‘Never mind,’ I said. ‘Come on, let’s order some food. We can’t have you wasting away.’
By the time dinner arrived, she’d bathed and was combing out her hair in the bathroom mirror. She stayed in there, while the waiters served the food, so she missed the package that arrived along with it, sent straight up from Dominion. Ronnie was a sweetheart. She must have known who it was intended for, yet she’d come through with the goods, anyway.
I left the package on my bed and went to the kitchen to pour some wine.
She was already in the dining room, standing by the table in my navy blue dressing gown, when I came back in. She was running her fingers through her still damp hair, and looked lost and awkward.
‘Don’t stand on ceremony, Angel,’ I said, putting the wine on the table and walking round to pull out her chair. ‘Sit down – make yourself comfortable.’
‘I…wasn’t sure whether I ought to,’ she said, as I pushed in her chair. ‘You know…what with…’ She tailed off, leaving the words unspoken.
For a moment, I had no clue what she meant. When the penny dropped, I almost laughed again. ‘You’ve got it all wrong,’ I said. ‘It’s not like that. Not for me, at least. I can’t speak for…others.’ I was about to say Max again, but checked myself just in time. ‘What goes on in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. Or in the club, of course.’
‘In the club?’
‘I was speaking generally.’ I sat down opposite her. ‘I’m not going to make you play in the club, don’t worry. I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to. Tonight’s a recce, that’s all, to show you a bit more about my…um…life.’
‘I don’t have anything to wear, anyway.’ She pushed a sliver of salmon around her plate.
‘Well…’ I took a sip of my wine. ‘You won’t be going anywhere, anyhow, if you don’t eat your dinner.’ I put my glass down. ‘And don’t worry… the clothing situation has resolved itself.’
‘Okay,’ she said, reluctantly spearing the salmon with her fork and putting it to her mouth. She didn’t sound as reassured as she could have done, and I wondered, not for the first time, if she was really ready for Dominion.
Twenty Eight