Shepherd finished, "She’ll lose all her memories going back to the helicopter crash."
Trevor's comprehension came slowly. The dots connected one by one.
"All her…memories…"
He collapsed his weight against a counter top.
"All of her memories of me. Of the two of us…she-"
In a soft voice Shepherd said, "She won’t even know who you are. She won’t know anyone around here ‘cept me. She won’t know about the estate or what she went through at The Order or the Redcoats or whatever happens between now and when the Rev here kills that thing."
Trevor mumbled, "Everything…the person she has become since then…that person won’t exist anymore."
– "Show yourself! Show yourself you son of a bitch!"
Trevor pushed through the forest. Bats scattered and an owl raced for cover. Tyr trailed at a discrete distance but even the K9 trembled at his enraged master.
He ran out of curses and let loose a howl of anguish that roared through the night.
Then Trevor collapsed and rolled over. His limbs felt weak and worn and for the first time since the day Armageddon had descended upon humanity, he felt completely at the mercy of the universe.
The branches above reached toward the stars with indifference.
"Wasn’t my doin’. I can promise you that, Trev. This is just one of them, oh, what you would call it? Coincidences. Irony. Shit like that. I dunno."
Trevor gasped, "Why?"
"You deaf or sometin’? I had notin’ to do with it. But I see a chance for you to part ways easy enough. She won’t even know she ever knew you. Easy way out."
"Easy? Easy way out? For such an all-knowing entity you don’t know shit, do you? You have no idea what she means to me. You want me to fight this fight? Then help me keep her. She’s my strength. Don’t you get it? She gives me the strength to keep going."
"Naw," the Old Man countered coolly. "You and I both know that’s a lie. In fact, I get the feelin’ you’re gunna be a much better fighter without her. You’re going to go through the rest of your life with nothing else but the ‘cause.’ You’re gunna be so pissed off at this world for takin’ her away that you’re gunna kill all that more easy. Slaughter them all, Trev. Maybe if you kill enough of ‘em you’ll feel better."
"I hate you. You know that? I hate you for what you made me."
The Old Man chuckled.
"You ain’t seen nothin’ yet."
– A pair of kerosene lamps on the fireplace mantle filled the living room with an oily, smoky scent. Nina sat on the floor in the soft glow with her knees pulled to her chin and a blank expression painted on her face.
"I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back to who I was."
Trevor eased to the floor next to her. Outside, early birds spread the word that a new day would soon dawn.
He told her, "Memories. Memories and experiences shape us, I guess like a river can cut out a canyon over time."
"Take away my memories for the last year and I’m just a Philly police officer thinking the only way to survive is to keep moving. Not to get tied down. Not to get attached."
Trevor remembered the shy girl with the icy cold eyes. Since then…so much.
Nina struggled, "I can’t do it. I think I’d rather…I’d rather…"
"No. I won’t watch you die."
She spoke in words that were angry, sad, and scared all at the same time: "If we do this then you have to fight to win me back. Do you promise? You get through to me. You tell me about us and everything. You break through…you break…through."
He whispered, "We should do this as soon as possible. I don’t like the risk to you."
She shook her head.
"We might die in the next day or so. I’m just saying, if that’s the case then I want to die the person I am now. If we survive this battle, then we talk. But not before then."
He nodded acceptance of her terms. He knew the doctors could give her stimulants to stave off the problem for a while.
– The sun climbed the horizon and glared across the lake. Overhead clouds drifted on a sea of blue while a light coating of dew sparkled on the grass.
Nina left the estate and walked with her eyes staring at the ground and Odin alongside.
She could not remember ever feeling so afraid for the future. After how far she had come- how far she and Trevor had come — after all these months. To lose him now…she might as well lose an arm or a leg.
She rubbed a hand against the side of her head but felt nothing there. She had never felt anything there. They hid it well.
A curious sight interrupted her thoughts: a white dog.
No. Not a dog. A wolf. A white wolf waiting near the stairs to her apartment.
"What..?"
To her surprise, Odin trotted toward the creature.
The wolf headed into the forest. Odin followed.
Nina stood still.
Odin stopped.
The wolf stopped.
Both animals gazed at her.
Nina, although she did not know why, followed the beasts into the woods and over a ridge. There she saw something more puzzling: an old man sitting at a campfire.
He raised a hand and waved to her.
Nina cautiously approached. The wolf sat behind the man and Odin relaxed by the fire.
"Come on now, honey, nothin’ to be worryin’ ‘bout. I’m a friend. Sort of."
"A friend?"
"Now ole’ Trev didn’t go tellin’ you ‘bout me? With how close you two been ‘n all. Thought he woulda shared."
Trevor had dropped hints about a mysterious entity that saved him in the early days. Nina never pushed to find out more. She did not need to know all the secrets.
He took a long gander at her.
"So you’re Nina Forest, mm-mm. I can certainly see why he finds you so alluring."
Nina fidgeted, both uncomfortable and on guard.
"Now don’t you go getting yourself all worked up. I’m just passin' time. Besides, you’re the one with the big gun, right?"
She felt the weight of her M4 on her shoulder and calmed.
"That’s all right and good. That’s the way of you, ain’t it? The feel of that rifle…makes you feel invincible. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that these days."
"Who are you?"
"Seems to me the world coulda done pretty damn well if you had been the other half of all this. Now that woulda been somethin’ to see." The Old Man hooted a laugh. "Oh dear goodness, that woulda almost been unfair. The two of you runnin’ over the baddies like a hot knife cuttin’ through margarine."
"You’ve been helping Trevor all this time."
"No, no, don’t go takin’ credit away from him. Fact is I helped him a lot less than he thinks. Just sorta pointed him in the right direction. He’s got a-what would you call it? — a natural pre-dis-po-zi-shun to what he’s doin’. It’s in his genes."
Nina blurted, "I love him."
The pronouncement dampened the Old Man’s mood. He appeared sad or disappointed.
"Yessir, that’s comin’ across clear. And you wanna know something? He’s all ‘bout you. That’s why I’m so scared. Me! Scared! Ain’t that just to beat the band? A little old emotion could go breakin’ that chain Trevor’s on. Breakin’ it and causin’ everything to fall ‘part."
"What are you saying? Look, I’m not really good with doublespeak."
"Nope, that’s true. I could see that right off. That’s why I like you so much, little lady. That and I got a soft spot for Trevor and I’d like to see him happy but that ain’t in the cards."
Nina slung her head.
"Then you know about this memory thing. You know what it means to me and him."
The Old Man corrected, "Best thing that ever happened. Hell, old Voggoth tried to pull a fast one and it’s come full circle and bit him in the ass. If he hadn’t put that in you, who knows if I’d be able to stop this? Something tells me Trevor would rather see the whole ball o’ wax die off than say goodbye to you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Like I said, I like you. I damn well respect how much of a soldier you are, too. Lookin’ ahead, I can see some big things for you. Because I like you, I’m gunna do something I’m not supposed to be doin’. Don’t matter none, though. You’ll either be dead or this will be forgotten."