“Scrabble. He was worried about using the word ‘toque.’ That’s a foreign word, isn’t it?”
“Toe?”
“Toque.”
“I’m drunk as a skunk,” Big Bear says.
*
“Bear, you’ll never make it.”
“We’ll make it.”
“Why should you even try to make it?” Laura says. Laura is the wife of the man whose party Big Bear and Estelle have attended.
“Big Bear can make it!” Big Bear yells.
“You’re a big oaf,” Laura says, and walks away. That leaves her husband to get their coats.
“If we don’t make it, I’ll end up the same place I’d be working tomorrow anyway,” Estelle says. Estelle is more drunk than Big Bear, and Big Bear is focusing on his feet to stay alert.
“What are you ashamed of?” Estelle asks Big Bear.
“Nothing. What are you talking about?” He fears that another one of her honesty sessions is coming on — a talk about how she wishes she had never married him or had children.
“You’re staring at the floor, Bear. What’s the matter with you?”
“He’s drunk,” their host says good-naturedly. Big Bear and Paul, their host, were in the service together. It was Paul’s idea to keep calling him Big Bear when they got back to America. In Japan, a geisha came up with the name. Laura will have no part of it. She calls him Alvin. Big Bear holds Estelle’s coat, happy to get away from the party.
The Peugeot is parked in Paul’s driveway. Death. Death everywhere. Japan, Viet Nam, Mortuary Science.
“What’s the matter with you, Bear?” Estelle asks. “You’re not really too drunk to drive, are you?”
*
“Daddy! Did you know that there was a Big Bear City in California?”
“No.”
“I found out in geography. My teacher said to ask if it was named for you.”
“I’ve never met your teacher. How did she know I was called Big Bear?”
“I told her.”
“Well, stop telling everybody. That’s just a joke, you know.”
“But that’s what everybody calls you.”
“Go watch TV or something.”
“What are you two talking about?” Estelle calls from the kitchen.
“Geography,” Big Bear answers.
“Mom, there’s a place called Big Bear City in California.”
“I don’t want to hear any more about it,” Big Bear says.
“What are you so grumpy about?” Estelle asks, standing in the kitchen doorway. “You’re as grumpy as a bear.”
“Oh, come off it. You two leave me alone.”
“Why is that always what you want? Why can’t anybody talk to you?” Estelle says.
“Leave me alone,” Big Bear says, and tilts himself out of view in his La-Z-Boy reclining chair.
*
“I thought jumping rope with the intestine was a joke,” Estelle says. “That’s not what you’re doing, is it? It’s not really an intestine?”
“No, there are no cows on Mars, so we consider your milk a delicacy. We have alcohol. Juniper berries grow in profusion. It’s really very pretty, all the bushes, in addition to the gin it produces.”
“Are they coming out?” Big Bear asks, nodding toward the spaceship.
“We’ve been on so many missions that they just don’t care any more.”
“What do they come for, then?”
“There has to be a certain number aboard.”
“What for?”
“I never asked. We keep busy, though.”
“What do you do?”
“Well, Donald likes to play games. He got some jigsaw puzzles the last time we were here, and he never tires of that, particularly a round puzzle that’s a pizza.”
“He just plays games?”
“They drink milk if we stop for it. We have to stop in the woods, of course, and there usually aren’t any stores. They loved Maine. There were stores in the middle of nowhere.”
“We love Maine,” Estelle says.
“It’s awfully nice,” the spaceman says.
“Are you going to take more pictures?” Big Bear asks.
“I’m just trying to think … where would be a good spot?”
“Can’t we just stand by the car?”
“I think they’ll want variety.”
Estelle smiles. “Would you like me to take off my clothes?” she asks.
“She’s kidding,” Big Bear says.
“I thought we’d take those later,” the spaceman says.
“We’re not taking our clothes off,” Big Bear says.
“I’ll put you under a spell, Bill,” the spaceman says.
“You can’t put me under any spell.”
“Please try not to be hostile. I personally have no interest in taking nude photographs.”
“Then let’s leave that crap out.”
“I can’t leave it out. They said to get some.”
“Tell them it was foggy and it didn’t turn out”
“I’ll undress,” Estelle says.
“Don’t you think it’s a little cold for nude posing?” Big Bear says.
“Yes,” the spaceman says. “Maybe we should go to your place.”
*
Sleep soundly, sweet ones. Don’t wake up and want water, or you might see the spacemen in the kitchen. You don’t like it when your brother plays with your special toys … how would you like it if a spaceman was tapping pegs through holes and squares through squares? You wouldn’t like it. It’s good you’re a sound sleeper. One of the spacemen is in the bathroom. Imagine walking into the bathroom and seeing a spaceman urinating.
*
“I said I’m not too drunk to drive, and I’m not.”
“You’re no judge. Laura is probably right.”
“Side with me. I’m your husband.”
“In effect I am siding with you. If you had an accident …”
“Big Bear doesn’t have accidents.”
“like John Wayne?”
“What are you taunting me for? You want to get home or don’t you?”
“It might be better if I drove.”
“It might be better, but you’re not going to do it.”
“All right. But drive slowly. There’s so much fog.”
“This piece of crap car isn’t helping us any. The thing’s so light, a wind would blow it over. When are you going to give up and let me turn it in for another one?”
“I thought flashy cars didn’t matter to you.”
“What did I say about flash? I just said a car — a decent car.”
“This is a decent car. It was driven by my brother before he died in that horrible war.”
“Where did you get his underwear from in the first place?”
“I don’t want to talk about my brother.”
“I don’t want that underwear in my drawer. Where the hell did you get your brother’s underwear?”
“Where do you think? From his drawer.”
“Well, why did you take that, if it isn’t prying?”
“It’s not as though I just took that”
“What else did you take?”
“I took his things. I don’t want to talk about my brother, Bear.”
“What things? Tell me or I’m not going to pull out of the driveway, and Laura can wave and scowl all night.”
“I took shirts and sweaters. Satisfied?”
The car pulls out of the driveway. Big Bear despises the car.
“Why haven’t I ever seen them?”
“I put them away for the boys.”
“They don’t want your brother’s stuff. By the time it fits them they wouldn’t wear anything that unfashionable.”
“I am not aware of radical style changes in men’s sweaters.”
“I want the underwear to go! You keep the shirts, I’ll throw out the underwear.”
“You keep your hands off my brother’s things.”
“You put it in my drawer and order me not to touch it. Why didn’t you put it in your own damn drawer?”
“It makes me sad.”
“Then get rid of it.”