"You see Mike Meachen over there?" I asked her.
"Yeah?" She asked confused.
"He's even better at it than I am."
"Mike Meachen?" She asked, scowling.
"I've lectured him on the proper study techniques so that my name could live on. You get him to go for a walk with you and you won't be sorry."
"Mike Meachen?" She repeated again.
"Trust me on this Jess. He's good. All you have to do is tell him EXACTLY what you want him to do, and he'll do it. Be specific, he doesn't mind. He aims to please."
She appraised him for a moment. "Well," She said, "He IS kinda cute."
"Would I steer you wrong?" I asked. "Sensual pleasure is just waiting for you." I winked. "And of course, he's just as discreet as me. So go get him."
She smiled drunkenly. "Okay." She announced. "Thanks Bill."
She headed off in his direction. Nina returned a moment later, carrying a fresh beer. Her gait was very unsteady now and her eyes were glassy.
"What were you talking to Jessica for?" She asked with distaste and more than a little suspicion.
I shrugged. "She's kind of aggressive." I told her. "So I directed her attention elsewhere."
"You've, uh, done her before?" Nina asked.
"Nina…" I started, uncomfortable.
"I only ask because she used to come up to me all the time and ask what the deal was with you. And then she started asking me if I liked the "vacuum cleaner" treatment. She's a ho."
"I agree." I said. "And I'm sorry you had to deal with her. She's from a previous life Nina."
"Okay." Nina nodded, kissing my cheek. Her breath smelled of beer. "What's she doing over there with Mike?"
"Watch and see." I said happily, taking the cup out her hand and taking a quick drink.
It didn't take long, less than thirty minutes in fact. I couldn't hear what was being said but suddenly the attractive redhead joined the group that Mike was a part of. The other guys tried to flirt with her of course but she only had eyes for Mike. Within ten minutes she was rubbing against his arm. Within fifteen she was pushing her breasts into his back and shoulder.
Within twenty he accompanied her to the keg and refilled her glass. There was one more whispered conversation and the two of them walked off into the woods, holding hands, carrying their beers with them. Even from my vantage I could tell that Mike was nervous. Again I found myself wondering if he'd ever actually been laid before. Oh well. He was about to be laid now.
"How did you do that?" Nina asked me, weaving a little.
"I can do anything I set my mind to." I told her. "Anything."
She leaned forward and kissed me again. Then she looked up. "I'm very drunk Bill."
"I know." I said. "But you only graduate once, right?"
Mike and Jessica emerged from the woods about forty minutes later. Both were staggering and holding onto each other, their hair mussed up, their clothes wrinkled. Both were smiling. That was a surprise. Had Mike done a good job on her? Maybe a combination of her drunkenness and her instructions to him had done the trick. She seemed happy, which hadn't exactly been my goal, but so did Mike. They hit the keg again and then split up, Jess heading over to a group of her friends, Mike heading over to his. It wasn't a minute before he began his description of what just happened to him. By morning her reputation would be shot. Cruel? Maybe. But so had been the way she'd talked about Nina.
By this time Nina had gone back to the keg herself and was having difficulty standing. She giggled at everything and her words were slurred. She rubbed her body against mine shamelessly, pushing her breasts into my arm, grabbing my butt.
"I think you'd better lay off the beer Nina." I told her carefully, holding her up.
"Everything is starting to spin a little." She admitted. "But I'm having such a good time."
"When things start to spin," I suggested, "That should be your warning sign that you've had too much. Believe me, you want to quit."
"Then take a walk with me." She said. "Let's go into the woods like the other couples have."
"I don't think that's a good idea." I told her.
"Why?" She burped, nearly falling. "I want to make love under the stars. Come on Bill," She kissed my neck, nipping at it. "Let's go."
"Not tonight." I insisted.
"Don't I turn you on anymore?" She pouted.
"Very much." I told her. "But I want your first time to be special. Doing it in the woods on a bunch of pine needles while you're drunk would not be special. Do you want your life-long memory of your first time to be, well, nothing? Because believe me Nina, you won't remember anything that's happened tomorrow."
She looked at me for a moment and was about to say something else when her face suddenly soured. "I'm gonna throw up." She said matter-of-factly.
She was right. I led her over to the edge of the woods, out of sight of everyone else, and she began vomiting up great gluts of beer. It went on for several minutes and I held her up while she did it. For the first time I began to worry about what her parents were going to think when I brought her home. Her Dad would kill me.
I led her over to my car and placed her in the passenger seat.
"Sit right here." I told her. "And if you need to throw up again, just do it outside, okay?"
She groaned in reply, but it was an affirmative groan. I headed back to the party to try and collect Mike.
Mike wasn't in much better condition. He was sitting on one of the picnic tables with his eyes closed, concentrating intently.
"You okay Mike?" I asked him.
"I feel sick." He told me. "I'm trying not to barf."
"C'mon." I told him, grabbing him by the arm. "Let's get you back to the car. I'll help you."
He leaned heavily on me as we walked.
"Guess what dude?" He burped, tripping and nearly falling.
"What?"
"I fucked Jessica Round tonight."
"Yeah?" I asked, knowing I was hearing a true pussy story for once from him.
"Yeah." He nodded. "I ate her pussy and everything. That bitch was hot for it. She kept tellin' me what she wanted me to do."
"Did you do it?" I asked.
"Goddam right." He affirmed. He then went on to describe the encounter in greater detail. By the time we got to the car I had the high points.
"Oh dude," He moaned as we reached my trunk. "Take me home."
"You need to do something for me first." I told him.
"What's that?" He slurred.
"Stick your finger down your throat."
"What?" He demanded, holding onto the trunk to keep the world from spinning out from under him.
"Stick your finger down your throat."
"That'll make me throw up!" He cried.
"Right." I acknowledged. "You're going to do it anyway so you might as well get it over with here instead of in my car. Besides, you'll feel better. Trust me."
"I don't know man." He said doubtfully.
It took a few more minutes but finally I convinced him. He staggered over a few paces, got down on his knees, and stuck his finger down his throat. A moment later he was regurgitating beer all over the place. While he did this I went to check on Nina. A fresh puddle outside the passenger door told me that she'd had another bought of vomiting. She was currently curled up in the seat, her head against the doorframe, asleep. I elected not to disturb her.
When Mike finished I loaded him into the back seat and buckled him up. I buckled up Nina and then started up the engine. I headed back to the city.
Mike was easy to get home. A few quick shakes in front of his house and a helping hand getting out of the car and he went staggering up his walkway, giving me a slurred farewell. He had some trouble getting the door open but finally figured out he was using the wrong key. Once this was rectified, he was inside. I drove off towards Nina's house.