As I'd vowed after Richie Fairview put his buckknife into my side, I was careful what I did. I went to school each day but I did not torment any more bullies. Of course if they had decided to come looking for trouble with me I would have returned it to them in spades but none of them did. My encounters with Richie forever sealed my reputation as someone that you did not fuck with. The bullies had much easier targets than I to occupy their time.
I tormented no more teachers as I had my history and A amp;P instructors. I replied politely to their questions when I was asked with whatever answer they were looking for. I brought up no controversial subjects to them. I did my homework each day the moment I got home from school (except on those days that Anita had something for me to do; something that began to happen with increasing frequency). As the school year wound on and as winter became spring my grades improved greatly all across the board, dramatically some would even say, unbelievably a few uneasy teachers even noted. By the time the school year ended my grades were straight A's and my overall average had moved up considerably.
I similarly took no further chances with my skin. As a paramedic I used to shake my head sadly at how stupid teenagers were, assuming their own immortality. After Richie I realized that I'd been even worse than they were. At least normal teenagers will acknowledge the possibility that they CAN die, even if they think it won't happen to them. But I had assumed that I COULDN'T die, that I was safe until thirty-two. That, despite eight years of scraping up the broken remains of idiotic teenagers off the streets of Spokane. I still shudder when I think of how easily I'd climbed into the car with Mike that night of the kegger, of how easily he might have drunkenly driven over the edge of the levee, dumping us both into the Spokane River. How ironic that would have been, for me to come back and save Tracy from that fate only to suffer it myself, to put my parents through the same grief with a different child.
I avoided riding in cars with teenagers when I could. When I couldn't, I snapped on my seatbelt and pulled it tight. Most of the time it was the first time the seatbelt in question had ever been fastened. I could tell that the driver's and other passengers of these vehicles wanted to deride me, call me a pussy, and apply the other forms of peer pressure that teens use for their bizarre purposes. But they never did. Again, Richie Fairview kept them from speaking their minds. Occasionally someone would ask however, why I was doing it.
"Well suppose we crash?" I'd ask.
"We ain't gonna crash." Was the inevitable reply.
"Probably not." I'd say. "But it's possible, isn't it?"
"I guess." They'd shrug.
"Well," I'd theorize. "If we DO get into an accident, I won't get hurt as bad if I have this seatbelt on. It doesn't inconvenience me in any way to have it on. It doesn't hurt, it doesn't restrict my movement, so why shouldn't I have it on?"
They usually had no answer for that and would let the subject drop there. But they never put on their own seatbelts in response. They didn't want to be called a pussy when I'd gone.
One thing I absolutely refused to do was to get into a vehicle with someone who'd been drinking and/or getting stoned. And since I didn't enjoy walking home from places like the falls, I just avoided going with anyone where that was a possibility.
This policy led to problems between Mike and I, and we already had more than our share of problems. Our relationship had changed since my return and Mike didn't care too much for it. I was no longer his trusty sidekick, willing to go along with everything that he wanted to do. I no longer smoked pot with him on the way to school because I wanted my head clear for classes. He tried every form of peer pressure he could think of to get me to change my mind but when I continually refused he blew up at me one day and stormed off. He didn't speak to me or walk to school with me for three days and surprisingly, though it had been a childish outburst over a ridiculous subject, I was very upset by the episode.
I cared for Mike and I desperately wanted to pull him off of the path he was on. My conviction to do this became even stronger after the Richie Fairview incident. He had jumped in, without the slightest hesitation and grabbed hold of the hulking asshole, pulling him off of me. He had done that despite the fact that he'd been terrified of Fairview and that Fairview was holding a knife at the time. He had cast aside his self-protection instinct to come to my assistance and I could not forget that. Maybe if he hadn't done that, maybe if he'd simply stood there during the attack unable to move, I could have simply let the friendship die and let him go about his life. But he hadn't. He'd jumped in there without a second thought. Goddamit I owed him something. I had to try!
As was his nature, he offered me no apology for his outburst. He simply showed up at my door for the walk to school the following Monday and acted as if nothing had happened. He pulled out a joint as we went along but did not offer any to me. I suppose that was as close to saying sorry as he could come.
So I continued to walk to school with him each day even though I didn't really have to. Cindy, who had her own car and who took Tracy to school each day, had offered to give me a ride if I wanted. Her invitation did not include Mike, who she couldn't stand, and so I declined it.
After school I would go over to Mike's sometimes or he would come over to my house and then, if I'd finished my homework, I would smoke some pot with him. I learned to drop myself down to the level of a sixteen-year-old during these times and even managed to have a good time. I did not, however, go out on weekends with him anymore, always pleading other plans, which was usually true. I'd found some interesting ways to spend my weekends that did not involve putting my life at risk with intoxicated drivers. Anita figured heavily in these plans most of the time. So did Cindy.
Mike always seemed upset that I wouldn't go out with him on the weekends but didn't make a big deal of it. A status quo developed in our relationship, one that was due to break before long.
In April of that year Mike's Dad, a mechanic, fixed up a two hundred dollar Volkswagen Bug and gave it to Mike to drive full-time. I remembered the car well. It was a 68, the heater didn't work, the upholstery was ripped and shredded, and the engine would constantly require attention from his Dad. Mike and I had had some good times in that car during my first trip through.
We would go to keggers, to parties, just out cruising. We would use the car to cut school with, driving to the river to go fishing.
Though I had no plans to do most of the stuff we USED to do in the car, I figured that simply driving a few miles to school would be safe enough. I was wrong.
Mike's driving in that Bug used to scare me even before being recycled. It absolutely terrified me afterwards. It only took me one trip with him to realize that I was never going to set foot in it again. He picked me up for school the first day he had it and as soon as we were out of sight of my house, he pulled out a joint and lit it up.
"You sure you should be doing that while you're driving?" I asked nervously.
"Doing what?" He replied with genuine confusion.
I pulled my seatbelt tighter and braced myself.
In the course of the short drive to school he weaved recklessly in and out of the morning traffic. He rode up on the rear of vehicles when he had no room to weave, getting so close to them that, had they stopped, he would not have had time to even apply his brakes, let alone stop in time. He ran through one red light and three stop signs, giving only a careless glance as he did so. He smoked on his joint the entire time. By the time we pulled into the school parking lot I was trembling with fear.
"You okay dude?" He asked, looking at me with his stoned expression.