"Stevens Consulting," he said. "A very good idea. A wise use of the gift I might add. I used your service myself by working through an agent of mine. A man named Dean Stockwell."
"Dean Stockwell?" I gasped, remembering that he'd been one of my clients.
"Oh yes," Mr. Li grinned. "He accessed your services at my instruction. By then I was reasonably wealthy from my own insight but I wanted to make sure I was using an expert. Someone with the base knowledge to take full advantage of the knowledge we shared. But towards the end I sensed some greed in you. You had more than enough money to comfortably live out the rest of your life but you wanted more, you didn't seem to know when to stop.
I figured that you would need a little nudge to push you back on the path.
So I made an anonymous phone call, several of them as a matter of fact, to the FTC. They landed on you within days. Shortly after that, you retired."
"YOU did that?" I asked in disbelief.
He nodded. "I did. Sorry if that offends you. Anyway, while I've been monitoring you all of these years, I've also grown moderately wealthy. I've broken all contact with my son and his family. I went to see a doctor in late 1996 and they discovered the bare beginnings of prostate cancer in me. A single course of radiation and chemo and it was gone forever. I'm something of a health nut these days. I run forty miles a week. I've participated in five marathons. I have a resting heart rate of fifty and a blood pressure that is consistently in the nineties. I could probably live another twenty years at this pace." He shook his head sadly. "But I can't Bill."
"What do you mean?"
"I mentioned a paradox a few minutes ago. One has been created. The gift cannot belong to two people at once. When I woke up in San Francisco after dying in Spokane I could still feel the gift with me, could still feel it inside of me. I'd given it to you and your wish had been granted, but the gift itself had not been passed on because I remained alive as a result of the gift. That is the paradox. It is a paradox that will correct itself in a few minutes."
"Correct itself?"
He nodded. "If nothing is done, when the time of my death in the previous life occurs, everything will go back to the way it was. I will be dead, taking the gift with me. You will return to your previous existence with no memory of what has happened. You will simply wake up in bed in your apartment in Spokane as if nothing had ever happened. Your wife will once more be an unpleasant doctor married to a neurosurgeon. Your sister will be dead. The kids you've had with Nina will have never existed. The correction will have occurred."
That was the most horrifying thought that my mind had ever entertained. I would lose everything in a few minutes? Even the memories of the life I'd built? That couldn't be! It couldn't! I couldn't even speak, my horror was so complete.
"Before you ask," Mr. Li told me, "yes, I'm sure about this. We have less than twenty minutes now by my calculations. I have twenty minutes to live no matter how healthy I am, no matter what steps I've taken. Reality will simply go back to the way it was."
I shook my head in denial, in fear. Twenty minutes? Would I never see Laura or Jason or Megan again? Would I only see Nina as an enemy, not as a woman I loved, that I knew intimately? It couldn't happen, I couldn't accept it!
"But there is a solution," Mr. Li said softly.
"What is it?" I asked.
"The gift," he said. "I still have it. I can still pass it on to you."
I looked at him, not comprehending on the surface, but catching his meaning somewhat lower in my psyche. "But in order for you to pass on the gift, you have to…"
"Die," He nodded. "I'm going to be dead in twenty minutes anyway, one way or the other, no matter what happens. I cannot tell you what to wish for Bill, you have to decide for yourself, but there is a wish that you can make that will break the paradox. I've struggled over the years trying to decide if your family, which will be based upon your moral code, is worthy of having the gift transferred to or if I should simply let it die with me." He shrugged, "I don't know if I made the right decision or not but I like you Bill. I know you better than I've ever known anyone before, even my wife when she was alive. I think you deserve the chance. I will give you the gift tonight, right now and I want you to promise me that you will use it as it is intended, that you will follow the tradition, that you will teach your descendants the responsibility. Will you do that?"
"Mr. Li," I started, my body charged up. Was he talking about suicide? Right here in front of me? For the purpose of breaking the paradox? Was that really what he was talking about?
"Will you promise Bill?" He insisted, staring at me.
I continued to stare, feeling an incredible mix of emotions surging through me.
"Bill?"
"I promise," I finally said.
He smiled, nodding seriously. He picked up his beer and then took a swig of it. "Do you know what to wish for?" he asked me.
"I think so."
He reached into a pocket in his chair and pulled out a pistol. It was a chrome plated, semi-automatic. Its hammer was back. He looked at it for a moment, his hands trembling.
"Mr. Li," I said, shaking my head. "I can't go through with this. I can't sit here and watch you shoot yourself. I can't."
"Be strong Bill," he said. "It'll be over soon. Don't call anybody afterward. Just go home. The maid will find me tomorrow and start the machinery."
I was crying now, actually crying with fear. How could I sit there and let someone shoot himself? I couldn't.
"You can do this Bill," Mr. Li told me. "Remember, I'm going to be dead in a few minutes anyway. Save your family. Write your existence as it is now into the pages of fate. I've lived a full life. My last few years have been lived with good health and considerable comfort instead of dying and in pain. You've done me a favor. Now it's time for me to do you a favor."
I was trembling, crying, unable to leave, unable to stay. I've never felt so confused in my life as I did at that moment.
"There will be a few moments of clarity right before I die," he said, putting the barrel of the pistol under his chin. The contact kept his hand from shaking. "That goes with the gift. Be sure to take advantage of it Bill. Be sure to ask the right thing."
"I will," I choked, watching paralyzed as he held that gun to his chin. "I will."
The gunshot was flat and undramatic. The ejected shell casing flew across the room and landed with a clink on the fireplace bricks. A small spray of blood shot from the top of his head and his body slumped over to the left, the pistol falling forgotten to the floor at his feet. His eyes remained open, staring at me.
"Jesus," I muttered, watching blood pour from the hole in the top of his head, watching his left pupil begin to dilate. "Oh Jesus."
Mr. Li's dying lips began to move. There was blood in his mouth. Words began to form. They were choked and very liquid but perfectly understandable. "What… is your… greatest wish?" he asked me.
I took a step towards him, keeping my eyes focused on his face. It was difficult to do through the haze of tears. My own mouth opened, "I want everything to continue on as it has been." I told him.
He nodded, more blood pouring out of his mouth. "Excellent." he muttered and then his eyes began to glaze over as awareness left them. He slumped further over and his breathing began to become agonal in nature, very irregular. This went on for nearly five minutes. I kept my eyes upon him the entire time. At last he drew in a breath, let it out, and then didn't pull in the next one. His mouth became still.
At that moment I felt it. The power, the gift, leaving the dying vessel of Mr. Li and entering my body, my soul. I cannot describe exactly what it felt like. The closest thing I can come up with is the sensation of runner's high, the feeling of well being that creeps over you about two or three miles into a run as endorphins are released from glands in your body. A sensation that seems to start at the top and quickly work its way throughout, spreading from place to place, energizing you. That was the closest I could come to the sensation but that does not do it justice. All of a sudden I was empowered, I felt it take up residence in me, felt it nestling in. It was a sensation that I would carry with me always, until that moment when it was time to pass it on.