Before she could answer I continued. "But I've learned that you can't change the world. I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to change a little part of it. Sometimes I think you CAN do that. You told me that Mike Meachen was a struggling student. Did you even bother to check his record before you had him and his parents in here? Did you even bother to note that he is NOT struggling anymore before you cut him off at the knees? His grades have come way up since last year. He was on his way to an upper 3 average for the first time in his life. He might have even made a 4.0 for the year until you kicked him out of school."
"I didn't FORCE anybody anywhere." She protested. "Mike and his parents WANTED him to go to independent study."
"No, you didn't force them." I said. "You just brought them in here and waved it in front of their faces. 'Look Mike, you only have to go to school twelve hours a week.' 'Look Mrs. and Mr. Meachen, your child can graduate in only a few months this way. If you don't do this, he might not graduate at all.' Isn't that pretty much the line you handed them? Did I hit upon any exact quotes there?"
She was staring at me with her mouth agape, her face telling me that was exactly what she'd said.
"But since you didn't bother checking his record first, you never noticed that he WAS going to graduate. Not through any efforts on YOUR part I might add, but on mine. The first time you waved this crap in front of him I talked him out of it. I got him to study, I got him to bring his grades up and focus on a goal. Things that YOU are charged with doing. I did them for you. He was on his way to his goals and you steered him right into oblivion. Instead of helping him, you destroyed him."
"He was smoking grass." She said defensively. "At his ROP site. You can't expect me to overlook something like that can you?"
"No." I said, "I can't. He did something stupid, I'm not saying he didn't. He did something that he needs to be punished for so that he learns not to do it again. But is this the answer? Sending him out of school? Destroying his life? He didn't kill anybody for God's sake, he smoked some pot. Jesus, haven't you ever smoked pot."
"Certainly NOT!" She said, much too quickly.
"Right." I said, letting that drop. "And granted, he should not be doing it on his job site. But he's a seventeen-year-old kid. Seventeen year olds do stupid things. Maybe he's got a problem with pot, maybe not. But did you even bother trying to figure that out? To counsel him, counselor? No, you just steered him off into independent study because you've been told to do that with people like Mike.
"Try to think back to when you were in school, to when you decided that being a school counselor or an educator was what you wanted to do. Back before the realities of life shit all over your viewpoint. Didn't you, at one time, want to do this so you could help kids? Wasn't that a goal at some point in your past?"
She was looking me up and down in a manner I'd seen a few times before. My history teacher had looked at me this way when I'd asked her sensitive questions. Mrs. Crookshank had looked at me this way when I'd explained about underachievers to her. Dad had looked at me this way when I'd explained why I wanted to invest in latex. The cop who had taken the assault report had looked at me this way when I'd explained what I'd done. It was the look of a person who had thought they'd been speaking to a child but who'd suddenly realized that they were, for whatever reason, talking to an intelligent and insightful adult. It was a look of confusion and growing respect and fear mixed with awe. It was an extended version of THE LOOK.
"Yes." She finally said. "It was."
"Have you abandoned that goal completely?" I asked next.
She licked her lips for a moment. "I hope not." She shook her head.
"Who wanted Mike out of ROP?" I asked her next. "Was it the fire department's idea or yours?"
"Mine." She admitted. "The fire department expressed concern about the incident and requested we have a talk with him. I was the one who recommended removal from ROP."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because it was…" She paused.
"Was what?"
"Easier." She said shamefully. "Our contract with them is delicate. It seemed the best solution to the problem was to remove Mike from the program so we didn't risk future enrollees."
I stared at her for a minute. "Easier." I finally said, snorting in disgust. "Has it ever occurred to you that you people are educating the people that are going to be running the damn country in twenty or thirty years. The people that are going to be controlling your Medi-Care and Social Security payments? Do you really want them always choosing the path that is easier on them?"
She had no answer for that.
"Mrs. Compleigh," I pleaded. "Can't you do something about this? Mike was trying to become a productive member of society. He was trying. He did something stupid that needs to be addressed. So address it. Talk to him about it. Let him know he did something stupid. Talk to the fire department and see if there's any way they can give him a second chance. If you do that, let me talk to Mike too. I believe I have some influence with him."
She smiled for the first time. "Billy, I believe you about that."
"If he screws up again than you can write him off as a loser and send him to independent study. But please, give him a second chance. Get his file out of the cabinet instead of mine this time. Read it. See how hard he's worked for this goal in the past year. He's trying. How about you do what your job title says and help him. Meet him half way. Please?"
She took a deep breath, her eyes softening. "You're a remarkable young man Billy." She told me.
I shrugged, switching back to my teenager persona. "I try." I said.
"I'll do as you ask." She assured me.
Though she was no longer talking to me and though she no longer sat with me at lunchtime, Nina was still forced to sit next to me in the two classes we shared prior to ROP. We had picked our seats at the beginning of the semester and now we were committed to them; for better or for worse. She would typically spend each class period looking straight ahead as the teacher lectured, occasionally jotting down a note in her binder. She never looked at me or acknowledged my presence in any way.
That day was no different as I sat down for my second class of the day, and the first with her. While awaiting the rest of the class to file in and find their seats she simply stared at her notebook, ignoring the activity around her, ignoring me most of all. Had it only been a week before that we used to chat happily together during this portion of the class, discussing how our day had been until that point, what we were going to do later? It seemed like an eternity had passed since I'd last heard a kind word from her, had seen her smile.
At some point I'd stopped telling myself that I wanted our relationship to mend so that Nina would not turn out to be a bitch later and started telling myself the truth; that I wanted our relationship to mend because I liked our relationship, because I enjoyed being with her. I'd never noticed before how eager I'd been for Nina to come over each day to study with me until she was no longer doing it. All of my brainstorming of the previous day had failed to produce a plan to make-up with her. I simply did not know what to do.
"Nina?" I chanced, leaning towards her a little and whispering.
She hesitated for a second, long enough to make me think that she was not even going to acknowledge my words, but finally she turned her face towards me. Her eyes were blank, revealing nothing of what was going on behind them.
"You heard what happened to Mike?" I asked her.
She nodded slowly. "Yeah. It's too bad."
"I went and saw Mrs. Compleigh today." I told her, thrilled to be even speaking to her. "I think I convinced her to let him back into ROP. He's getting another chance."