We took seats near the back of the nearly empty theater, setting down our popcorn and stowing our drinks. We reclined and munched and drank and waited for the movie to start. We talked of some of the things we'd done in the past. Going to the lake in the summer, studying during the school year, going skiing in the winter. The remember game. Just as the lights started to dim down in preparation for the ten minutes of previews that proceeded every movie, I turned to her.
"I'm glad you came tonight." I told her. "And I'm glad you gave me a second chance."
Her blue eyes stared at mine, her face forming a serious smile. "Me too." She told me.
About twenty minutes into the movie, while the dancers were dancing and the music was pounding from the Dolby system, I reached slowly out with my left hand, putting the palm over the back of Nina's hand. She looked at me for the briefest second, hesitation marring her face, and then she turned her hand over, grasping mine, hesitation turning to contentment. Her hand was soft and dainty, fragile in mine. After all I'd experienced since my return, after all the girls and women's bodies I'd enjoyed in every possible way, you wouldn't have thought I'd get excited over the simple holding of a hand in a movie theater. You wouldn't think so, but it was thrilling me to the core.
Later on she edged slightly closer to me, squeezing my hand a little. I was fumbling and unsure of myself, of how far to take this, but in the end I couldn't resist. I unclasped my hand from hers and put my arm around her shoulders. She stiffened momentarily, probably in nervousness as opposed to hostility, and then she relaxed, allowing me to pull her against me. She gazed up at me dreamily for a second.
"I really love being with you Nina." I whispered to her.
"Thank you." She whispered back, nestling up against me, resting her head on my shoulder, making me happier than I'd ever been with any other person.
When the movie was over we walked hand in hand out of the theater into the frigid night. The sky had cleared of clouds, allowing the stars to shine in all their glory. The half moon drifted directly above us. Our breath puffed out before us and our cheeks turned red on contact with the air.
"Do you want to take a walk before we go back?" I asked her.
"Bill," She giggled. "It's freezing out here."
"Yep." I agreed. "So what do you say?"
She nodded. "Okay."
The theater was located in the downtown mall, near the river. We strolled off the grounds and towards the scenic bridge and the levee. Soon we were staring down at the running water, watching the moonlight shimmer off of it.
"Did you like the movie?" She asked me, nestling against me as we stood there, allowing me to feel her weight pushing at me through her heavy down jacket. I put my arm around her once again, drawing her closer. She came willingly.
Though I'd promised myself that I would always be honest with Nina, there were times when that promise could be broken. This was one of those times. "Oh yes." I told her. "It was a very good movie. That was a good choice."
She looked up at me, staring in my eyes. "Really?"
"Really." I assured her.
"I thought it sucked rocks." She informed me huffily. "We should've gone with 'All the Right Stuff'."
My jaw dropped for a second as I heard this and then I burst out laughing.
"What?" Nina asked, looking at me with amusement.
"I thought it sucked too." I told her. "I was just being polite because you picked it."
"I didn't pick it!" She said, laughing with me. "You did!"
"Only because I thought that was what you wanted to see."
"Why would you think I wanted to see that crap?" She asked, shaking her head in exasperation.
"Because every woman wants to see that crap." I told her. "It's a movie made for women."
She turned towards me, not drawing her body away, but pushing it against mine. We were zipper to zipper with our down jackets, eye to eye. She let her hands slide down until they were nestled in the large pockets on my jacket. "I'm not most women Bill." She said softly, pulling me tighter. "You should know that by now."
"I guess I should." I answered, with a voice that was no longer steady.
Our eyes were only inches apart, our faces close enough so that I could feel her breath against me. The vapor from our exhalations combined, swirling together before drifting off into the night. I put my arms around her, feeling the curves of her body somewhere beneath all of the fabric and duck feathers she was adorned with. Our legs were pushing together. My body was tingling with anticipation and nervous desire. I was almost giddy with it.
Finally I leaned forward, moving slowly but deliberately, and touched my lips to hers. She did not resist, in fact she leaned into me, meeting me halfway. Her lips were cold and dry from the icy wind, but never had a pair felt so good against mine, never had my body reacted as it was reacting to hers. We slid our lips together softly, the kiss lasting less than ten seconds before we broke apart. But worlds suddenly changed in that ten seconds.
We continued to stare at each other for a long time after our lips parted.
"That was nice." Nina finally said, barely above a whisper.
"Very nice." I agreed.
"We've crossed a line." She told me. "I told myself that going out with you was a bad idea. That if I did, I would fall right back in love with you the way I was before. You haven't proved yourself to me yet Bill. You haven't proved that you're any different. You could be just putting on an act. After all, you must have a lot of charm to do the things you've done."
"Nina, I…"
"Shhh." She hushed. "Let me finish."
"Okay." I said.
"In the end I simply couldn't stay away from you. Except for a few rumors from school, I have no proof that you're any different. I have no proof that you've given up your old ways. Your shining ability among the girls at school was your discretion. Your downfall was that it was they who were indiscreet.
"And I was right Bill."
"Right?" I asked.
"I fell right back in love with you. When you held my hand in the theater I almost melted. When you put your arm around me I did. And when you kissed me just now." He she took a deep breath, blowing a large plume of vapor into the night. "I love you Bill. I was starting to get over you but now I'm head over heels again. You tell me you're different now, that you've changed. I certainly hope so Bill. I certainly hope I'm not being played for a fool."
"You're not Nina." I answered her. "I swear you're not. I love you. I really do."
"You hold my heart in your hand now Bill."
I nodded. "Yes I do. And I promise you won't regret giving it to me."
"I'll hold you to that." She said, leaning forward for another kiss.
Al Steiner--July 16, 1999 Chapter 9 ->
Chapter 9
Tender is the night
When you hold your baby tight
Tender is the moment
Tender is the night
JACKSON BROWNE
We stayed by the water for a few more minutes, holding onto each other tightly, feeling the warmth that comes from more than just body heat radiating back and forth. We kissed a few more times, cautious, soft kisses. Nina was inexperienced at this sort of thing and I did not want to push her too fast, to cheapen the magic of the night. Mostly we just held each other, her resting her head on my shoulder, me smelling the faint scent of her shampoo. I felt I could have done that forever.
Though love was in the air that night, so was a nearly zero degree wind-chill factor. Despite the down jackets and the embrace we shared, we finally began to shiver uncontrollably and our lips became so numb we could no longer feel our kisses. Reluctantly we let each other go and walked hand in hand back to my car.
We drove in silence for a bit, letting the Datsun's heater tackle the task of warming up the interior of the car. I glanced at her several times. She was looking out the window at the passing scenery but not seeing anything. Her eyes were shining and glazed, her expression contented.