Domain

'Couple of people, Harry for one. Usually in drinking sessions.'

'Was the other person a woman?'

'No. As a matter of fact, it was a doctor. Not a shrink. Just an ordinary GP. You want to hear about it?'

She nodded against his shoulder.

'About a year after the accident I developed sore testicles - at least, that was what it felt like to me.

You can smile, but when that happens to a man he fears the worst. I let it ride for a while, but it got no better. Finally, I went to see my doctor and he diagnosed an inflamed prostate, said it was due to stress.

I offered that flying was a stressful occupation,

but he was smarter than that. He explained that after the helicopter went down and all those lives had been lost, I had kept my emotions in check, had never allowed the breakdown that should have naturally followed - not necessarily a huge, hysterical breakdown, you understand, but perhaps a brief nervous collapse. I hadn't allowed it and the body won't be fooled. The inflamed prostate was a physical manifestation substituting for a mental one. The damage wasn't permanent, just a little uncomfortable for a while, and eventually it passed.'

'But the anguish didn't.'

'No, I told you - it found its little place to rest on. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that my only penalty for a stupid mistake was sore balls, when it was death for all those others, misery for their families. Doesn't that strike you as hilarious?'

*You suffered more than that. And it's never stopped for you, no matter how much you kept the hurt inside. You talk of penalties without realizing that life itself doesn't punish us; it's something we confer on ourselves. We create our own atonement. We manufacture our own crucifix and nail ourselves to it.'

Culver was momentarily too surprised to answer. Whether or not he agreed with Kate's philosophy, he knew he had misjudged her. He should have realized there was more to her by the way she had adapted inside the shelter, how she had helped Clare Reynolds nurse the sick, himself included, how quickly she had accepted - no, adjusted to - the hideous and traumatic change in all their lives. And she had proved she was no fluttering, fainting damsel in their escape from the shelter.

Why are you looking at me like that?' Kate asked. 'Haven't you heard a thing I've been saying?'

'Oh yes, I've heard.' He kissed her forehead. 'And you may be right. How come you didn't mention all this before?'

Her exasperation rapidly vanished. 'How come you didn't tell me about the crash before?'

Culver was about to reply when movement caught his eye. 'It'll have to keep. Looks like the others are stirring.'

'Steve ...' She pulled at him as he began to rise.

He looked down at her quizzically and she returned his kiss.

A frightened voice called out. 'Oh God, where is everybody?' Culver answered. Take it easy, Ellison.

You're safe enough.' He pulled on his boot and reluctantly got to his feet, gazing down at Kate as he rose. He gently touched her hair before walking over to the engineer, limping slightly as he went. Kate followed.

The others were waking, disturbed by Ellison's shout. They stared around them, startled by the mist.

Culver did a quick check as he approached: Ellison, Dealey, Fairbank stretched out beneath a fallen tree.

Jackson and one other engineer, a man he knew as Dene. Five of them, he and Kate, making seven. Had they lost others in their flight through the ruins? He didn't think so; the rest had probably drowned or been torn to pieces by the vermin back inside the shelter. Or maybe even burned to death: the choice of death was varied.

Ellison looked relieved to see him. 'What is this place?' he asked, rising.

'As far as we can make out, it's what used to be Lincoln's Inn Fields,' Culver replied. 'What's left of it.'

Ellison tried to penetrate the mist. The rats ...?'

'Stay calm. We left them back in the shelter. We're safe for now.'

Dealey had risen only to his knees as if the world was still unsteady. This fog - is it a dust cloud?'

'Use your head.' Culver grabbed his arm and hauled him up. 'Can't you feel the heat, the humidity?

After all that rain and with the sun beating down, the place has become a steam bath. And if that makes you uncomfortable, just wait until the insects start biting.' He turned towards the fallen tree. 'How're things, Fairbank?'

The small stocky engineer yawned, then grinned back at him. Things is hungry.'

That sounds healthy enough. Jackson, Dene?'

The two other engineers looked less happy. They rose and joined the others, eyes warily watching their surroundings.

'Any injuries?' Culver asked of them all.

'Do bruises and grazes count?' said Fairbank, reaching the group.

'Only rat bites and broken limbs are eligible.'

Then I'm not even in the race.'

'Check yourself, anyway. You never know what you did to yourself back there.'

Each man examined his clothing for tears and his skin for abrasions. There were cuts and plenty of bruises, but no bites.

We were lucky,' Fairbank said.

'Luckier than those poor bastards we left behind,' Jackson remarked angrily and a silence fell over them.

It seemed natural that Dealey should break the silence. We must get away from here. I believe it's still not safe to be out here in the open.'

Each man, soul-weary and afraid of what lay ahead for them, studied the dishevelled Ministry man with quiet,

brooding disdain, as though now holding him solely responsible for the deaths of their colleagues and friends left behind in the Exchange. Kate sensed and shared their contempt, yet oddly felt a tinge of pity for Dealey. He stood among them, a small, balding, middle-aged man, his clothing torn, his face and hands filthy, his shoulders - his whole demeanour -stooped and tremulous, and she knew it was wrong of them to attribute so much blame to him. The grand folly was universal.

She broke the tension, anxious to avoid the confrontation that was looming and which would be so pointless. Will it be possible to get out of London?' she asked, not just of Dealey but of all of them.

Dealey, no fool and aware of their resentment, was grateful for her question. Tes, yes, of course. But there is an easier way than going overland. And there is still a safe place for us here in the city—'

What city, you—' Jackson took a step towards Dealey, but Culver held his arm.

'Easy,' he said. 'I think I know where Dealey means. First, though, we've got a few minor things to take care of. I could do with some food, for one, and I think we need to rest up a little more before making plans. Besides, I've got a rat bite that I need treated before I do any more walking.'

We can't stay here,' Dealey insisted. This very mist may be thick with radiation.'

'I doubt it. The most critical time is over and besides, the long rainfall must have flushed most, if not all, the radiation away. Anyway, we've spent a whole night in the open; if we were going to be poisoned, it'll have happened by now.'

'But there's been no All-clear.'

'Christ, get it into your head, Dealey: there's never going to be an All-clear. There's no one left to give such a signal.'

That's not true. There are other shelters, many of them; the main government shelter under the Embankment will still be intact, I'm sure.'

Then why no communication from them?'

'A breakdown somewhere. EMP, collapse of the cable tunnels - any number of things could have broken our communications with other stations.'

'Let's cut out the crap,' Ellison interrupted. 'Right now we need food and maybe something for self-protection, if we can find anything. I don't like the idea of travelling unarmed.'

Jackson agreed. This looks like as good a place as any to rest up in. At least it's open ground and man, I'm sick of confined spaces.' He turned to Dene who nodded in agreement.