The bitter pill of the back side of his life was his work. Cleaning-up operations, shooting, enemy extortion, secret murders, tricks, deceptive maneuvers, counter-terrorism, managed terrorism, explosions of dams, rivers of blood ... contrary to expectations in his heart was a hope that he could change his fate, that he would be a herald of a new formation. By the end of his days, he began to turn into almost Mennonites, a man who eagerly caught a breath of fresh air of a new bearing world.
- Ready? – the head pointed at something, like a coffin.
- What is your name? - Asked Dux.
By surprise he replied:
- Sean. It’s for what?
- I see through you. You hide burned unfulfilled childhood dreams behind the thick glasses. Why? Is it lack of love? Job surrounded by a concrete lie where the truth had been lost long ago? Furthermore, once, the first move was wrong, and you continue to be responsible for something like a screw of a rusty mountain?
Sean flashed with his glasses furiously.
- Go a little louse. You will feel good there.
- Instructions prohibit?
- You are running into?
- Revelation upon revelation?
- Well! I am American! I’m a worker. We are Babels. My favorite work is to kill people like you. You're not a traitor. Bachelor! You and all the rest will pass our organization ... Death to bais! - he cried fierce and frenzy.
Before changing consciousness, which is worse than death, Dux sincerely laughed. He regretted that the executioner, who could not, and did not want to get rid of his favorite systems. And at the last moment, he believed that he could win, by miracle. Because of love.
He was calm and his soul, easily and peacefully, flew through all nine colors, nine borders and nine worlds, approaching heaven ineffable light.
After some manipulations, such as injections of tranquilizers, psychotropic drugs, temporary suffocation of certain parts of the brain, a metered local electric shock, selective erase of memory, relaxation with handfuls of the multicolored pharmakos, powerful excitation with benzene derivatives, Colonel began to lose his own identity. His face began to turn into a terrible wolf's grin. His hands began to twitch like sleeping dog paws. In his whole being spilled fierce hatred to all everything, involved in disbelief and fear. He stopped distinguish the truth to which he has been going for the whole life. Cutting out, smothering, corroding by the new computer program knife his personality cut off on parts. In front of him there appeared a new look: an evil primitive animal, a toad with complexes, the old woman, stale mediocrity. Primary strength became to leave him.
Once a great soul began to fill up with the void of foreign energy, fatigue meaningless of the eternal war and the stupid expectation of the end of the black-and-white film, prolonged movie called "life."
Dux has ceased to be, himself. He felt homeless in a strange city, without means, surrounded by a complete hopeless loneliness. And then, when his deep wounds were down uploaded with anabasis there was a false temporary pleasure. And then with hopeless despair he saw as into the depths of his being was slowly creeping a long silver thread, waving foreign energy of immortality. In his eyes flashed tears of despair, which complex animals have.
Dux knew that he would never be able to be himself, forever losing the code of himself. He silently prayed for mercy, for the end of his days, but he knew that he would have to lose at all fronts, to give up and lose everything. With widened pupils, Dux saw as if through a microscope as that long shiny scaring energetic uncertainty decided to turn him into a tin soldier of the will of others, killing himself inter vivos.
Medics were surprised to see that something has gone wrong. Fastened to the pipe with straps the recruit was burning in an incredible heat. His body was in a terrible tremor with a feverish rhythm.
- Look, he may die - forced one of the orderlies. Really, body temperature showed 42.7 Celsius.
Sean ordered that to call a military doctor.
He made a drastic anti-fever injection. But a few minutes later it became clear that that had no effect. The body of Colonel writhed in convulsions in some senseless horrible dance. He growled, howled, uttered laryngeal low sounds. The whole body dripped with hot sweat and his terrible stupid senseless face-mask effervesced foam near the mouth.
Some of nurses were sick. A military doctor looked with small eyes at the dying patient and at surprised chief.
- Well? - asked Sean.
- It is a shaman but not a man! - muttered a military doctor.
- What would you advise?
- Maybe to shoot? Or we can have problems.
Body bended and began to pull straps, banging on plastic pipe stronger and stronger.
- So, take away, quickly! He will break the technique. It is expensive!
Powerful orderlies grabbed the patient squirming like a worm, tied with belts and took away like a doll to the draining. He was brought to the place of execution, and put on the rise. Usually there were put incorrigible. Sean asked the nurses to leave. He thought, took out a huge frightening gun "Desert Eagle DE" caliber is 357. Magnum, was playing with it, aiming at different body parts and showing his teeth, twitched with his head. Having played, he turned on a brief solemn music, moved away for fifteen paces, put on the headphones and got ready to fire like in a dash.
*
When, during injuries his life hung in the balance, he was opened fragments of suburbs of incredible palaces with beautiful large and small creatures, and they were a lot. Through the blue haze, being in the intermediate state of death misgiving, he hardly guessed the outlines of the unknown, unreal, infinite, wonderful city, which is not exist.
*
But now Сolonel was in a completely different state. He broke away from strong threads with which life tied him, tying to billions of webs and make his global freedom-loving soul fake. He saw both the past and the future and the present. Mazes of life suddenly became visible and permeable. He floated in the space, bowing before approaching souls: living endless bearing small and large forms. Created from another matter of incomprehensible to people. Fears of acts and birth regret retreated. Architecture to infinitely small and to infinitely large quantities formed in a single carpet of different boundless universes, giving incorporeal the opportunity to think, feel, suffer, be sick, to admire, to create, to enjoy, to calm down, to fight, to despair, to win and to live.
He comprehended slightly and easily a breath of life in the depths of unimaginable Earth's gravity, in plasma flows at the edge of a fine needle, and acquired the lost keys from the knowledge of good and evil, given by the Creator. He bowed to great solemn many-voiced consonance of midday hot day shadows, full of chorus of love and a solemn birth langour, breeding live forever. In heaven there was a final battle between good and evil.
And at that moment she came, swung over the high bridges of blue on a bright white shining of the bride and moved toward him. And he recognized her. Hundreds of spectators: friends with pure thoughts and villains, brothers in spirit and scoffers, everybody bowed to him, defeating decay, pain, bitterness and imposed others pain. He was equal to it, and in all universes he passed roars of great souls. With incredible strength, he made a first step around his original huntsula who was known just to the gods, and it answered the same inaccessible code of future love. His earthly essence in amazement fell into the dust, couldn’t look up at the gods dance. And a shining fire chariot in an angelic choir moved to heaven, diverse living chessmen with invisible roar, stronger than a star birth.