Her hand trembled as she set the glass down on the small table beside her. “Samantha …”
Twisting toward her, I wanted her to understand where I was coming from. Maybe I wanted her to see me for who I was now. “Mom, I didn’t know he took those pictures. And I wasn’t okay with it.”
She blinked, smoothing her linen pants with a hand. “That’s good to know. I’d hate to believe that you were okay with something so … trashy.”
Trashy wasn’t the only word I would have gone for. Disgusting. Violating. “Then you have to understand why I can’t be with him.”
“Honey, what he did was wrong, but he made a mistake. Everyone does.”
Shocked into silence, I stared at her.
Running her fingers along the gold bangles circling her wrists, she sat straight and stiff in the seat. “Your father—he’s made mistakes. And we wouldn’t have been married for so long if neither of us learned how to forgive.”
Gradually, I came out of my stupor. “Del took pictures of me giving him a blow—”
“I understand that, Samantha.” Her nose wrinkled. “But this incident happened so long ago. And I’m sure he feels terrible about it. He has to feel terrible about it.”
“I really don’t care if he feels terrible,” I admitted, and wondered if I should feel bad for that. “I can’t believe you’d ever be okay with me being with him after that.”
My mom sighed. “I’m not okay with the fact that he did that, Samantha, but he’s young and he’s a male. God knows this won’t be the last stupid choice he makes in his life.”
“It will be the last stupid choice he makes that involves me!”
She ignored that. “You have every reason to be upset with him. I don’t blame you for that, but I think you should talk with him. His mom and I were saying that after … well, after everything, both of you could use some time to get reacquainted without all these outside influences confusing you.”
I thought there was a good chance that when I had left school that day, I had veered straight into crazy land. Part of me wanted to laugh at the absurdity of my mom defending Del for doing something so vile, but the other part of me, the huge part, was stuck somewhere between being ticked off and being disturbed.
“Outside influences confusing me?” I said finally.
She nodded. “Well, with Cassie and your memory, it’s understandable that it would take some time before you—”
“Why do you want me to be with Del so badly?” I cut her off. “I don’t get it. Is this normal? Do moms usually get this involved?”
Something flashed in her eyes, gone too quickly before I could name it. “It’s important to your father and me that you are involved with someone who can take care of you and is of your same … stature.”
There was more to it. I knew it, but like everything else, it was too far out of reach. Uncertain if it even mattered, I let it drop. “Mom, I’m not getting back with Del. I’m pretty much disgusted with him on a cellular level.”
Picking up her glass, she watched me over the rim. “You haven’t been spending any time with your friends.”
“My friends are assholes.”
“Samantha!” she exclaimed, staring at me as if I’d brandished a knife.
I fought a smile. “It’s true. And you can forget about me patching things up with them, too.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.” She finished off her glass and smiled. It didn’t crack the cool beauty of her face. “You always had a tendency to do that.”
“They’re calling me Insanity Sam and insinuating that I had something to do with what happened to Cassie.” Mom flinched. Maybe I should’ve softened the blow of my social downfall. Too late now. “So, yeah, I’m not exaggerating.”
She opened her mouth but seemed to think twice before speaking. I studied her in this rare moment when she actually appeared to be thinking something instead of drinking and being disappointed with me.
I stiffened.
As soon as the last thought had formed, I felt that wave of familiarity and a surge of distress. At once I knew I’d been in this position before with her. Not wanting her to be disappointed and not knowing how to make that happen or if I even could make it happen.
Stupid tears burned the back of my eyes, and I cast my gaze down. Her free hand was closed in a fist. Her knuckles were white. My throat tightened. “I know you’re disappointed—”
“No, honey, I’m not.” She rose and sat beside me, but I still didn’t look up, because I wasn’t sure if she was lying.
And like a piece of a puzzle clicking together, I suddenly knew her disappointment wasn’t directed just at me, but at herself, too. It was something that I must’ve known before that night on the cliff.
“Honey, I just want the best for you. That’s all.” She paused, brushing a sheet of my hair back from my face. “And you’re heading down a path I’m not sure is going to be best for you. Breaking up with Del, alienating your friends …”
I shook my head. “Those were the right decisions, Mom.”
She hesitated. “And you’ve been hanging out with Carson a lot, haven’t you?”
My head jerked up, and she quickly removed her hand. “So?”
“His father is cleaning your father’s office for extra money, Samantha. Not exactly dating material.”
“Well, I’m not dating his father, now, am I?” I snapped. This whole argument was ridiculous. “I’m not even dating Carson.”
“But you like him.”
“Yes. I do like him, Mom. I don’t get why you have such a problem with that. You married Dad!” Her eyes widened. I had her. “He didn’t have money.”
“Your father was at Yale when I met him. That was different.”
“How so?” I demanded. “He still didn’t have money, and Carson is going to Penn State.”
She didn’t answer immediately, and when she did, it was not what I’d expected. “Your father … he swept me off my feet, Samantha.” A far-off look came to her eyes, and the mask she wore slipped away. I could almost imagine what she must’ve been like when she met my dad. “We met on accident, at a party, and he wasn’t like any guy I was used to. And because of where he went to college, I assumed … well, I assumed he was like me. My father wasn’t happy when the truth came out, and maybe I should’ve …”
Maybe she should’ve listened to her father? Mom didn’t say that, but I knew that was what she was thinking, and I wasn’t sure how to really respond to that.
Taking a small breath, she shook her head. “You deserve someone who can give you the world, someone who can stand on his own. Do you understand me?”
I think I did. “But money doesn’t give you the world, Mom. Not everything.”
She opened her mouth, but a door creaked somewhere in the house. My father’s footsteps were heavy and quick. Mom turned to the door, and the moment he entered, his dark brows furrowed and jaw clenched, I knew this was bad.
“What is it, Steven?” Mom asked, standing, once more cool and aloof as ever.
Dad glanced at her and then me. His hair looked as if he’d run his fingers through it a lot, like it had been the day he walked into the hospital room. “Joanna, I don’t want you to panic. Everything is going to be okay. This is just procedure.”
She folded her thin arms across her chest. “That isn’t a very reassuring opening statement.”
“We need to take Samantha down to the police station,” he said, his gaze darting back to me, and he smiled. My throat dried. “Detective Ramirez has questions, and Lincoln is already there waiting.”
The buzzing in my ears canceled out whatever my mom said. Lincoln was the family lawyer.
I swallowed hard as I stood on weak legs. “Dad,” I croaked.