I’d stopped taking my meds, but I still saw Dr. O’Connell once a week. I hadn’t written myself any more notes, but I woke up many nights covered in sweat and screaming like a banshee. It would be a long time before I was normal, but Scott was there those nights, and so was Mom.
Setting the popcorn bowl aside, I went to my mother and wrapped my arms around her. “I love you.”
Her posture was rigid as she hugged me back. Not the best hug, but we were working on it. Our relationship hadn’t been great before everything happened, but I figured it could only get better.
“I love you, too.” She brushed the loose strands off my forehead. “Get. Go have fun.”
Smiling, I untangled my arms and grabbed the bowl. Her gaze drifted over me, but she didn’t comment on my oversize sweatpants and shirt that had seen better days. Better—she was getting better.
I hurried through the rooms, hanging a right. I went down the stairs two at the time. Laughter and the low murmur of conversation rose up. Someone had paused the movie for me.
And I had a feeling I knew who.
Unable to stop the grin spreading across my lips, I moved around the sectional couch, stepped over a pair of long denim-clad legs, and plopped down.
Scott stretched over and snatched the bowl of popcorn away from me. “Thanks,” he said. “You’re the best.”
Julie giggled as she grabbed a handful. “Not saying much, considering the company.”
“Whatever.” He tossed a few kernels at her.
Watching them waste perfectly good popcorn, I sank back and inhaled the scent that always sent my heart racing—citrus and soap.
The arm on the back of the couch behind me slipped off and wrapped around my shoulders. He pulled me against his side and lowered his head, his lips brushing the curve of my neck as he whispered, “Missed you.”
Good pressure built in my chest as I tipped my head back and met eyes so blue they reminded me of electricity. “I was only gone five minutes.”
“So?” Carson said, lowering his head. “Long enough.”
“Cornball,” Scott muttered.
Julie smacked him. “Shut up. You say cornier things when no one else is around. He just has the balls to say it in front of us.”
I laughed.
“Whatever. I have balls,” Scott argued. “You know exactly how big—”
“No one wants to know that, dude,” Carson cut in, but his eyes were trained on me as if I was his entire world.
“Agreed,” I said quietly, reaching up and threading my fingers through the hair curling around the nape of his neck. His eyes flared, and my belly warmed. “Kiss?”
“Kiss.”
He brought his mouth to mine, and even though this kiss was sweet and had nothing on what he could do when we were alone, my breath still caught in my chest and my toes curled. Each time we kissed, it was like the first time, over and over again. Nothing compared to it.
I was pretty sure nothing ever would.
“Okay. If you guys are done making out, ready to watch the movie?” Scott asked, sounding only a little peeved.
Carson’s lips spread into a grin against mine. He stole one more quick kiss before he pulled back. “Yeah, we’re ready as ever.”
Cheeks flushed, I snuggled closer to Carson, throwing an arm around his waist. His fingers curled around the loose strands of my hair. The movie clicked on and the previews started to roll.
Things weren’t perfect. They were far, far from it, but they were getting there, and I wasn’t looking back. Not when there were so many good things in the future.
acknowledgments
Writing acknowledgments is always harder than writing the actual book, because I know I’m going to forget someone important. But here I go. First off, a big thank-you to my agent Kevan Lyon. This was the first book of mine that she read and offered representation on. It also turned out to be the first novel she sold in January 2012. Without her, this book wouldn’t have been possible. Another big thank-you to Emily Meehan for reading the book and missing her train stops. I think that last part helped get a yes when it came to accepting the manuscript. This book also wouldn’t be what it is today without Laura Schreiber, Mary Ann Zissimos, and the wonderful team at Disney Hyperion, especially Tyler Nevins, who whipped out an awesomely creepy cover that I still want to cuddle with. Taryn Fagerness has also played in a key part in getting Don’t Look Back sold into many, many territories outside the United States. Special thanks to Angela from Reading Angel for being one of the first people to read Don’t Look Back and fall in love with Carson, along with Lesa Rodrigues. And a thanks to Molly McAdams for making me feel good about writing a book that is so different from what I typically write. Thank you to Stacey Morgan for being the awesome person that she is, even when I send her questionable images on Yahoo. Also, KP Simmons and the team at Inkslinger for doing their magic.
But most importantly, the biggest thank-you goes to the readers. Without you guys, none of this would be possible. Hell, it would be pointless. I can never thank you all enough for allowing me to take my overactive imagination and put it to good use.