The old tank top and shorts were beyond useless now, but she had a new gray tank and a pair of jeans left in her pack, and she pulled those out. Griffin watched her the whole time.
“Got any more of that soup?” she asked.
“Yeah, a couple more,” he replied. When he bent over for his own pack, his body listed to one side and he had to catch himself on a rock.
“Whoa there, big guy. You okay?”
“Fine.” He tossed her his last two cups of dried soup and yanked out a black T-shirt and black shorts from his own pack. She loved him in black.
The whole exchange was surreal and awkwardly domestic, making her feel like what they’d just shared hadn’t happened. That was what she’d wanted, right? This space?
She went to the pool, scooped up water into her hands, made it boil, and dumped it into the cups. Above, the mist veil flickered, winking in and out like the static that often came through on the Chimeran radio that connected the convenience store gateway to the valley. Fear made a little slice through her mind. She turned around, worried, only to find that Griffin had propped his back against a rock, and had fallen soundly asleep. The mist disappeared entirely.
With the veil no longer hiding them, they were exposed to potential tracking by the Children. Griffin had held on as long as he could, probably assuming they’d have found their way back into an inhabited area by now so he could crash in relative safety. He hadn’t counted on her seduction dragging out his energy, but then again, neither had she.
A day ago she would have seized this opportunity of his unconsciousness and scrambled out of this ravine and as far away from him as possible. How much had changed. Technically she could backtrack to the Queen’s prayer and carve a new one again. She could stand there and stare at the star map until she thought she could decipher it. But there was too good a chance the Son of Earth would come back for her, and an even greater chance she’d never understand the angles in that mass of stars.
She needed Griffin. She hated to admit it, but she did. And he’d shielded her from spying eyes after the attack. It was her turn to stand watch over him.
Keko dragged his vest over and slid out the giant knife strapped to the back. Then she settled against her own rock a quiet distance away and let Griffin have his much-needed rest. She kept one eye on the ravine that extended out to the ocean and the other on the Ofarian.
He twitched in his sleep. A tense, sharp concentration of his stomach muscles, as though he’d been punched. He didn’t wake, but a harsh grimace twisted his face. For a moment she considered shaking him, but then his body stilled and the deep grooves between his eyebrows smoothed.
He’d given her his vow. Made upon his people’s most sacred objects. She couldn’t get past that and, really, that had been his point, hadn’t it? Ever since he’d found her here on the island, he’d been denying his involvement with the Senatus and trying to convince her he was here of his accord. Had he succeeded? She laid the knife across her knees and considered him.
Griffin’s conviction ran as deep as the legendary Source. He wasn’t one to half ass anything. He wouldn’t go after something unless he could do so with absolute concentration and one hundred percent effort. And he sure as hell never went after anything if he didn’t believe in it whole-heartedly. In that they were too much alike.
He’d only ever wanted the Senatus. He’d only ever wanted Ofarian advantage. If she told him about the Chimeran disease she would give him such a weapon to wield, but through his oath he’d turned that down, sight unseen. He denied his presence had any involvement with the Senatus and she was . . . daring to believe him.
What had changed for him, this shift in objectives? Did it even matter? He had what she needed and she had his word.
Out of nowhere, Griffin’s body gave a violent jerk. His big arm sliced awkwardly through the air to land across his chest. His hand made a fist. No, wait. The curl of fingers held a phantom gun.
“Griffin?” She moved to a crouch.
He convulsed, his body twisting to one side, one knee coming up as if to protect himself from a blow. A groan shot out of his throat, followed by a string of unintelligible mumbles, but then she distinctly heard something about “orders.”
She started to crawl toward him, wary but worried, unsure what to do. This time the bodily twitching did not stop, but instead got more pronounced and intense second by second. The sounds that came out of his mouth were like garbled one-way conversations trying to patch through a spotty communication device. His closed-eye expressions shifted from fear to rage to cold fury to sadness.
Setting the knife down, she knelt before him and gave his shoulder a gentle shake. “Griffin, wake up.”
It happened too fast. Too fast for even her reflexes. Griffin snapped awake, coming instantly alert. With a snarl he snatched her around her waist, flipping her up and around his body. She landed on her back and he came down on her, all his weight pressing her into the rock. The knife handle was in his hand, the blade tip at her throat. How the hell did he—
“I have my orders!” Spit hit her cheek. The fierce, hoarse cry ricocheted through the leaves.
In her warrior’s heart, Keko knew she could throw him off. Knew she could inhale and draw her fire out, and either blast him far away or knock him out with its force. But that same heart realized that the Griffin she knew was not the Griffin with the wild, murderous eyes who loomed over her now. This was not Griffin the Ofarian attacking Keko the Chimeran, intent on preventing her from getting to the Source. He was panting, sweating, the knife tip trembling against her skin.
“What orders?” she whispered.
Griffin blinked, clarity and reality rolling back into his eyes. He crumpled, shoulders collapsing, the knife falling from slack fingers. The crushing weight on her arms and torso lessened, but he didn’t get off her, instead just pushing back to sit on his heels, his chest heaving, spasms jerking his limbs.
He searched her face. “Keko?”
She raised her arms and showed him her empty palms. “What orders, Griffin?”
“Oh fuck.” He rolled off her, going into a heap, his back to her, and tried to catch his breath.
She sat up and carefully nudged away the knife. “You were dreaming.”
“Haven’t had that one in a long time.” He dropped his head into a hand. “A long time.”
This was crossing over into unmapped territory for them, but she’d never been afraid of a little exploration. Like her, he didn’t want pity or attention because of something personal, but she simply had to ask. “Why now, do you think?”
“I don’t think. I know.”
It wasn’t the sex. “Orders” had nothing to do with that. Attacking her with a knife had never followed sex before. But they’d been in a pretty harrowing battle yesterday, and she suddenly recalled his reaction after it had all ended, the haunted look when he’d touched the tree after the earth elemental had left it.
“The earth elemental. The fight,” she said. He agreed by not answering.
She rose and moved the few steps over to face him. He didn’t look up as she lowered herself back to the ground, but he also didn’t flinch away when her knees brushed his.
“Was it about someone you killed?”
“No.” Now he looked up, met her eyes. And in them she saw a shattered soul. “It was about all of them.”
They were more alike than she ever would have guessed.
“I see all of them,” he said, and his voice sounded like it had dropped off the edge into a bottomless chasm. “One after the other. In the same order, first to last. Each of them playing out exactly as they happened. Every detail, the same as what I saw. What I heard and smelled. What I felt.”