Reward: You’ve received a Bronze Adventurer Box!
New achievement! You’ve entered a guildhall!
Congratulations. You know how to open doors.
Reward: That sense of fulfillment you feel? That’s reward enough.
New achievement! Podophilia!
You’ve used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That’s my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you’ll be rewarded. This will help.
Reward: You’ve received a Gold Shoe Box!
New achievement! Boom!
You’ve caused a wall-shaking explosion within the dungeon! The last time the walls shook like this was when your mom came over for a visit.
Reward: You’ve received a Silver Goblin Box!
New achievement! Level-Up, Baby!
You’ve received enough experience to gain a level.
Reward: Leveling up is your job. You don’t get rewards for doing your job.
Underneath those were a few additional notifications:
You’ve gained a skill level!
Pugilism Level 4.
The art of beating the shit out of your opponents with closed fists.
Each level of this skill increases your bare-knuckle damage by 25%.
Level Up! You are now level 2.
Three stat points gained.
Several other skill-based notifications flashed and disappeared before I could read them, likely thanks to my tinkering with the menu earlier. My inventory glowed, and I clicked on it. Several additional loot boxes now appeared on my list.
“You may only open boxes in safe areas,” Mordecai said. “All guildhalls are safe areas, but not all safe areas are guildhalls.”
“Will they be hard to find? The safe areas, I mean?”
“The safe rooms will always appear on your map, even if they’re within the fog of war.”
“Fog of war?”
“If you haven’t visited an area, it won’t show the specifics of the hallways, even if it’s in the range of your minimap. The fog of war covers places you haven’t yet visited. The safe rooms will have restrooms, sleeping cubicles, and some will even have food and fountains with healing potions. Getting to them might be hard, but you’ll always know where they are if you get close enough.”
“Is there a time limit for staying in one?”
“Nope. But don’t forget the level itself is going to collapse in on your head after a certain amount of time. The only way to survive is to keep moving deeper.”
“Okay,” I said, rubbing my hands together. “Hopefully there are some pants in one of these things. Let’s start cracking them open.”
“Okay,” Mordecai said. “You have 10 loot boxes. That’s a lot, but not a crazy amount. Usually people come into the tutorial with two or three. You can hoard them, but when you do decide to open them, you can’t pick and choose which ones to open. It’s an all or nothing thing. There’s no real tactical reason to hold onto them since you can’t sell or transfer unopened boxes. Also it’s important to note that while it’s possible to receive unstable or damaged loot, you’ll never receive outright cursed loot in a box. But that doesn’t mean everything is safe to try on. Always read the descriptions before you activate or wear something. Always, always. No exceptions. Okay here we go. It’s going to open them by tier.”
The ten boxes all popped out of my inventory and appeared floating in front of me single file. The first few boxes were about half the size of a military footlocker. Each box had a label floating over it. The first to appear was bronze-colored and had a strange, hedgehog-like animal stenciled on the top.
Bronze Pet Box. (1/10)
The top popped open on its own. The box disappeared in a puff of smoke, and a single rolled-up piece of paper and a small pile of what looked like dry cat food appeared on the floor. Text appeared above each item.
Scroll of Heal Critter.
Pet Biscuit X 10.
The items disappeared and entered my inventory. Before I could open the inventory box to read the description of the scroll, the next box appeared.
Bronze Adventurer Box. (2/10)
Potion of Healing X 2.
Common Fingerless Gloves.
After that was
Bronze Weapon Box. (3/10)
Toad Cudgel.
The “toad cudgel” was a stick. It looked like a 3/4's length baseball bat shaped by someone who only had a vague idea of what baseball was.
Bronze Weapon Box. (4/10)
Poker.
This wasn’t much better. It was literally a fireplace poker. A wrought iron stick with a screw-on point at the end.
Bronze Adventurer Box. (5/10)
Potion of Healing.
Potion of Mana.
These next two boxes were slightly larger and made of silver.
Silver Adventurer Box. (6/10)
Poison Antidote X 2
Crawler Biscuit X 100
Torch X 20
This next silver box looked distinctively different than the last. Like the goblin murder dozer, it appeared hobbled together with random hunks of silver-colored metal. A goblin skull was etched onto the lid.
Silver Goblin Box (7/10)
Dynamite X 5
Lighter
Goblin Pass
The Goblin Pass took the form of the same goblin-shaped skull from the top of the box. The symbol appeared floating in the air. Instead of adding itself to my inventory, it flew and smacked up against my left inner forearm. I was still wearing my leather jacket, but I could feel it burning against my skin, like I was being branded. The brand also appeared on the exterior of the jacket. The pain quickly abated, and my jacket was otherwise undamaged.
It was time for the good stuff. These next two boxes were bigger yet and glowed with a golden light.
Gold Apparel Box (8/10)
Enchanted Nightgaunt Cloak of Stoutness.
Enchanted Trollskin Shirt of Pummeling.
Beside me, Mordecai gasped the moment the two items appeared. I hoped that was a good thing.
Gold Shoe Box (9/10)
Enchanted Toe Ring of the Splatter Skunk.
A toe ring? A goddamned toe ring? I needed shoes, damnit! Not a toe ring!
I was so irritated by this prize, I almost missed the opening of the final box. The Legendary Pet Box had the same symbol etched on it as the Bronze Pet Box, but this thing was three times the size. It was made of alternating, intricately carved silver and gold patterns. Clockwork gears spun with a ratcheting click click click as the box opened. A musical fanfare sounded.
Legendary Pet Box (10/10)
Pet Biscuit X 500
Enhanced Pet Biscuit
“That’s it?” I said as the final prizes poofed back into my inventory. “What the hell is an enhanced pet biscuit?”
Mordecai was looking between me and Donut.
“Yeah, kid. You’ll want to give your cat that biscuit right now while you’re still in the guild.”
“What does it do?” I asked. I pulled it out of my inventory. It looked like a cat treat. It was small, smaller than my fingernail, brown, hard, and round with a crumbly texture. I doubted I’d be able to get Donut to eat it. While the cat was always shoving her face with food, Bea insisted on giving her the wet stuff even though it got all over her face. Donut turned her nose up at most everything else.