I’d received multiple boxes, including a silver Adventurer Box for finding my first safe room. I spent the next several minutes sifting through the mostly useless loot. Potion, potion, torch, bandages—that was new. They stopped Bleed effects. I didn’t know if my troll skin shirt stopped that or not.
It was all the same stuff except for a silver ring I found in the silver box. The ring gave me +1 to my constitution, bringing the stat up to 10.
Donut jumped up on the table while we waited. She drank a bit while I finished examining my loot. She had several boxes as well, including a gold magic item box she’d received for being one of the first 100 crawlers to level Magic Missile up to level three.
In the box was 25 potions of mana restoration and a collar charm. The charm was a little silver butterfly. Donut squeaked in delight when she received it. It even had a little ring on it so it’d easily attach to her collar. The charm jingled when it moved.
I shook my head. The game really was tailoring the prizes toward the crawler.
“You don’t want to wear a damn bell around your neck. Do you know why people put them on cats? So the birds and squirrels can hear them sneaking up on them.”
“It’s adorable,” Donut announced as the charm poofed onto her collar ring. “And I am wearing it.”
I examined the charm’s properties.
Talisman of the Slate Butterfly
Those who remember and commemorate the sad tale of the Slate Butterfly are given a boon by the fairies of the world. That story even made me cry.
Adds +4 to the Light on Your Feet skill. Adds +1 to Intelligence. Winged fairies will no longer be automatically hostile toward you.
I had no idea what the tale of the Slate Butterfly was, but I had to admit it was a good item. But was it worth the extra noise we would make? I didn’t know. I wasn’t exactly the king of stealth, either.
The Light on Your Feet skill simply meant she’d be able to pounce higher and farther. She was already a three in the skill when she’d received it, so the charm made her a seven. The moment she put it on, she went bounding back toward the play area and jumped all the way to the top of the plastic tubes, a leap that was twice as high as she’d been able to go before. She spent the next ten minutes with the zoomies, rushing around the play area like she had when she was a kitten.
Shit, that had been what? Four years ago?
“Hey,” I called. “Be careful! Don’t forget you still gotta land!”
Tally emerged from the kitchen holding two trays. He waddled from around the counter and placed them both on the table. “Eat.”
Donut had a simple bowl filled with white yogurt. She returned to the table and sniffed it suspiciously.
“What is this?” I asked, poking at my food with a plastic fork. It smelled delicious.
“Murgh Vindaloo, spice level four. Boneless chicken cubes simmered in velvety sweet and sour vindaloo sauce. Also potatoes and other spices. It is on top of biryani rice, and I have also made garlic and spinach naan. I apologize I do not have lamb. They took my lamb for a mob in preparation for the second floor.” He turned to Donut. “Also, Your Royal Highness, I have special ordered a fresh salmon for your meal upon waking. I will have it properly prepared and diced and garnished for you later.”
“Your highness?” I said.
“Thank you, Tally.” Donut said. “Oh, and Tally?”
“Yes, Your Highness?” he asked, bowing slightly.
“Please make sure Carl and I have the best appointed room for our convalescence this evening. That’ll be all.”
“I’m pretty sure they’re all the same,” I said. “Also, you don’t want a room of your own?”
“Of course, Your Highness,” Tally said and turned away.
I looked at the cat, and she blinked and tilted her fuzzy head, her approximation of a shrug. “It’s not my fault he sees me as royalty.”
I took a bite of the food, and I immediately forgot everything else in the world. It was literally the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. I’d never been a huge Indian food fan, but holy shit. It was just the right level of heat. I devoured it in minutes.
Tally had returned to his post at the counter and remained there, unmoving.
“Dude,” I said. “This was the best thing I’ve ever eaten!”
He nodded slightly.
“Are you going to be in all the safe rooms?”
“No,” he said. “When this floor collapses, I will move to a random floor in the dungeon. When that floor collapses, I will move down until I am no longer needed.” He didn’t elaborate further.
“Well, I’m thinking we’re going to stay here the next couple of days,” I said. I fought the urge to lick the plate. Could he really make anything in the world?
The world is gone.
A wave of sadness washed over me, unexpectedly. I took a deep breath. I pulled out the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and was about to light one when a loud, but firm, “Nope,” from behind the counter made me put it away.
“We can’t stay here,” Donut said. “We need to keep moving.”
“I have an idea,” I said. “I think there’s a nest of those Scatterer bugs just next door. I say we spend our time here and try to clear out the nest. Surely we’ll get some experience. Once the entrances to the next level down show up, we’ll go searching for a staircase. But until then we have a spot to sleep, a supply of good food, and a nearby source of experience. I think this is a good place.”
“Okay,” she said after a moment. “But we need to come up with a snappy way to kill them. Something exciting, yet cute. Something with zest. I want on that show, Carl.”
“We’re not getting on the show,” I said.
“Weren’t you paying attention? Millions of followers! Loot boxes! We need to get on that show. Maybe we need a catchphrase.”
I sighed.
10
Time to Level Collapse: 4 days, 3 hours.
I slept much longer than I planned. The rooms were small, but not claustrophobic like the dungeon bathrooms or the racks in a Coast Guard cutter. The bed was more comfortable than I expected. The white cotton sheets smelled brand new and faintly like laundry detergent. And while the halls of the dungeon were humid and stuffy, the temperature in the rooms was a bit chilly, just how I liked it. Donut insisted upon sleeping in the room with me. As usual, she slept on my neck.
I didn’t dare take off my shirt or cloak, though I knew I was supposed to be safe. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out. I didn’t dream, wasn’t haunted by nightmares like most nights.
I awakened feeling refreshed and full of energy. I looked at the countdown time, astonished that I’d slept 10 hours straight. I hadn’t slept that long without waking in at least five years. It took the literal end of the world to finally give me a full night’s rest.
Donut yawned deeply and rolled onto her side as I sat up. “Go back to bed,” she said sleepily. “I need several more hours. That is an order from your princess.”
“Get up,” I said. “Tally is making you food, remember?”
That perked her up.
The bathrooms in the restaurant had stalls for showers with soap and shampoo dispensers. There was also cheap, disposable razors and shaving cream. I finally peeled my clothes off and took a long, warm shower. I stayed until the water no longer ran black. I shaved. There were no towels, however, and I had to drip dry.
My internal clock was already broken. I knew it was nighttime again on the planet’s surface, but when I saw the plate with bacon, eggs, and pancakes, I sat down and inhaled it all. It felt like breakfast time. It felt like a new day.