The Juicer’s health was about 2/3s gone. The entire top half of his body was blackened and scorched. I could no longer see his beady eyes glaring at me.
“Bro,” he said. “Not cool. That was my bro.” He picked up another weight and flung it at me. I dove out of the way. It hit the wall, shattering. Shrapnel cut into me. Burning little pieces of metal peppered the side of my head. I fell backward over another machine, my ankle getting caught in the wire. I read my final scroll of Confusing Fog as I extracted myself. Another weight rocketed toward me, whirring over my head like a buzzsaw. It exploded behind me.
More metal chunks cut into me. My health plummeted into the red. I mentally clicked a health potion from my hotlist as I peeled the skull off my wrist. It was like trying to free a boiled egg from its shell. I had to break the head from the jaw to free my hand. The skull clattered to the ground. After I drank the potion, I noted I had a 15-second cooldown before I could drink another. Donut’s cooldown was much longer, closer to two minutes. I didn’t have time to wonder why we were different.
The fog filled the room, and I rushed at the boss.
This is a terrible idea, I thought as I approached from behind. The monster was bent over, feeling blindly for another weight from the rack. He’d pulled all the weights off of one pole, but there were more right below it. Blinded, he couldn’t see what to grab.
I grasped at a barbell that appeared to have about 250 pounds on each side. I grasped the stop and ripped half the weights free, which clattered to the ground near my feet. I held onto the barbell before it could tumble forward off the bench. I brandished the lopsided, makeshift weapon like a giant mace. Before, lifting 250 pounds plus the bar would be next to impossible. I normally benched 230 pounds—which was a respectable amount. With my strength now at nine, I could still feel the weight, but I lifted it easily. It was enough to be awkward and maybe too much to just regularly walk around with. But I knew I could easily swing it, and I did, as hard as I could, at the monster’s scaly head.
Crash. My whole body shuddered, as if I’d swung at a solid wall. The boss staggered, falling on his side, dropping the weight he’d managed to pull free. The bar trembled, and the three weights fell off the far end. I smacked him one more time with the much-lighter bar then tossed it. I picked up one of the 100 pound weights at my feet, lifted it over my head in both my hands, and smashed down on the Juicer. I smashed, and I smashed. His health bar slowly descended as he cried out.
“Stop, ow! No, bro! It hurts!”
Just when I thought he was done, about to die, he twisted, his giant arm shot up, fast as a snake strike, and it grasped my wrist. It felt as if a steel shackle had wrapped around me. Oh fuck, I thought as I dropped the bloody, dripping weight—which bounced off the monstrosity’s stomach. He took his other hand and grasped my neck.
“This is gonna hella burn,” he said, sitting up. The fog cleared, and his eyes focused on me. Despite being lizard-faced, a row of pustules circled his eyes, like zits that had grown up through the scales. He stank of sweat and burned flesh and Axe body spray. He started to squeeze, and I knew I was dead. My health bar plummeted.
A magic missile slammed into the Juicer’s back. This was a weak one, and the monster barely acknowledged it with a grunt.
“Hold on, Carl!” Donut cried. She emerged, flying through the air, claws out like a tiger pouncing on unsuspecting prey. She landed directly on the monster’s massive, bulbous shoulder, and she bit down hard on his vein-covered neck as her rear legs scrabbled at his back. Tendrils of green and red tissue went flying, as if she were a potato peeler gone haywire. She bit through one of the veins on his neck, vampire-like. Blood sprayed as if she had struck oil, soaking Donut, who gurgled in response.
The giant hand at my neck went slack, and he slapped backward at Donut. He barely hit her, a glancing blow, but she rocketed off the creature’s back as if she’d been shot out of a cannon. She hit the far wall with a sickening crunch.
“Donut!” I cried. I scrambled to my feet, wheezing for breath as the monster reached for his shredded back in obvious, agonizing pain. Blood sprayed from his neck as if she’d sheared off a water spigot. The blood just kept coming and coming, an impossible amount.
The Juicer looked at me, eyes surprised, as if he hadn’t realized I was still alive.
“I’m proud of you, bro,” he said. “You fought through the pain.”
I hit him with a weak jab, and that’s all it took. The boss, whose health was already all but depleted, crumpled onto his back. I smashed his solid head with my foot. The system seemed to release whatever supernatural protection it gave to bones and flesh once the creature was dead, and his head caved in easily under my heel. It felt as if I’d stepped into a rotten watermelon. I didn’t pause to look at the carnage. I rushed across the room toward Donut.
She lay in a bloodied heap on the floor, her leg bent in the wrong direction. Her health bar held nothing but the barest sliver of red.
“Donut,” I cried, coming to my knees before her. “Goddamnit, Donut. Don’t you do this to me.”
She gasped, not dead. The cat was entirely soaked in blood. But she was alive! I worriedly watched her health, terrified it might go lower. Sometimes when you were injured, it continued to decrease, just like on the surface.
The Winner! graphic appeared on my screen, and the music stopped as I plunged into my inventory. I had to wait 10 frustrating seconds for the bullshit to clear before I could find what I was searching for.
I had a scroll of Heal Critter. I read it, but it didn’t work on her. The scroll evaporated from my menu with an error message. No Valid Target Available. You just wasted a valuable scroll, dumbass.
I couldn’t cast my heal spell on her, even if I did have enough Mana points, which I didn’t. Instead, I pulled a healing potion out of my inventory and uncorked it, ready to pour it into her mouth.
I paused. She’d taken a mana potion just a few minutes earlier. She had a much longer potion countdown than I did. It probably had something to do with our constitution levels. I couldn’t examine her and tell where that countdown was, if it had run out or not. Would it hurt her if I tried to feed the potion to her early? I didn’t know. Any damage now would surely kill her.
I quickly pulled a second healing potion and decided to test it on myself. Using the quick slots, it wouldn’t allow me to take a second potion, but surely the game couldn’t stop me from doing it manually.
I downed one health potion, which brought my health back up. This was my first time actually physically drinking one. It tasted oddly like kiwi juice. The bottle disappeared with a poof. The fifteen second timer appeared, and I drank the second potion before the timer was done.
You have been poisoned!
Poison effect nullified.
“Goddamnit,” I growled. I leaned over Donut, rubbing her soft fur. “Stay with me,” I said.
Crack! The cat murmured in pain as her broken leg magically set itself. The sliver of health grew longer. She was healing. Getting better.
I sighed, relief washing over me. She would heal on her own, but it was going to take a while. I’d wait another five minutes before I risked giving her the potion, which would ease her pain.
“Carl, Carl is that you?” Donut asked after a minute, lifting her head pitifully. “Did we get it?”
“We got it, Donut,” I said. “You got it. Don’t move. Just rest for a minute. You saved my life.”
“I have been grievously injured in battle,” she said. “In saving you, I have made the ultimate sacrifice. I can feel my life fading away, Carl. I’m circling that last bend into the drain. This is the end. I used my claws like you said, and I have perished as a result. Miss Beatrice is going to be most displeased with you.” She coughed twice, two coughs that sounded suspiciously fake. “Tell her I fought bravely. Tell her I fought to the end. Find Ferdinand, tell him I loved him. I loved him ever since I first saw him.”