If had to step on more than two or three grubs in a hallway, I tossed a boom jug in behind us. Better safe than sorry.
“This is taking forever,” Donut complained from my shoulder.
“We’re almost there,” I said, pushing a grub away with my foot. This last hallway was mostly clear. Only forty or so of them. Brandon and crew were making record time, he said. They were almost at the rendezvous.
Once we hit the main hallway, we were all going straight to the stairwell. I plotted a path starting a few alleyways north, so we only needed to get them through a pair of grub-infested intersections. As long we moved relatively quickly, this would work.
And once they were down the stairs, we’d carve our way north, punching back into the neighborhood with the danger dingoes and kobolds. From there we’d head back to the saferoom, watch the evening’s show, sleep, and then hop on the Chopper and spend the rest of the time grinding away in different neighborhoods until it was time to hit the stairs. Hopefully we’d find a different exit, but if not, we’d come back and firebomb our way to the stairwell here.
Donut: CARL, PEOPLE ARE GETTING BORED WITH THIS! MY FOLLOWERS HAVEN’T GONE UP IN FIVE MINUTES.
Carclass="underline" For fuck’s sake, Donut. Don’t worry. I’m sure something awful is going to happen any second.
We exited out into the main hallway. The moment we did, the grubs behind us seemed to lose interest in following. They just stopped, settling down. It was creepy as hell.
I saw the wall of blue dots coming down the hallway. It looked as if it was all of them, so we went jogging toward them. I stopped and laughed the moment I saw the parade.
Imani and Chris were both wearing leather straps across their chests that I recognized as pig harnesses from the tuskling courtesans. They strained as they pulled all of the others behind them.
They’d built a parade float. That’s what it looked like. They’d taken the wheels from multiple wheelchairs that no longer had owners and affixed them to long pieces of wood. I had no idea where the wooden platforms had come from, but I knew Imani and Chris both were as obsessive about looting everything as I was. Using some of the goblin tools, they’d hobbled together the contraption.
Looking more closely, it was more like a train or a set of rollercoaster cars. There were a total of 39 people being pulled, most of them sitting upon their own chairs, which sat locked in place, two by two. The ones who normally used walkers sat cross-legged on the boards, watching wide-eyed as they were pulled along. The giant centipede was ten cars long, and each section held four people. The individual cars were attached to one another by a set of glowing metal chains. The same chain attached Chris and Imani to the rest of the train. It seemed it was one chain, running from Chris, through all the cars and back up to Imani, about 300 feet long.
“It’s more maneuverable than it looks,” Brandon said, jogging up. “We made it from the safe room to the hallway easily. Chris says once they get going, he barely feels the weight. The only problem is that the cars are too wide to fit through the safe room doors, so we have to stage it all in the hallway. There were a lot of those grubs, but we ran right over them.”
“Where’d you get that chain?”
“Imani had a scroll called Yog’s Special Chain or something like that. She just got it from some Gold box, I don’t know what for. She could pick any length up to something crazy, like 1,000 feet. It’s light as a feather, but the chain only lasts for 30 hours. This whole thing was her idea, though Brandon designed it. He even added ramps so they can get on and off easily.”
“Hey, you have an extra star by your name,” I said.
He nodded. “You know the Mind Horrors? The floating brain things? Yolanda, Chris, and I went to clear them out. I remembered what you said about needing to train, so I figured we better. Yolanda would shoot them from down the hallway, deflating them before they could hurt us. The boss room was this abandoned warehouse thing. The boss was a giant blimp. We took it out pretty easily thanks to Yolanda. That’s also where we got all this wood.”
“Did it come out of its room?” I gave him a quick recap of what had happened with Krakaren.
“Christ, dude. Our boss battle was much easier. It never left his lair.”
They were lucky to be alive, but I was glad they’d spent the time training themselves. Yolanda was now level nine, equal with both the brothers. Imani was still level 11, and she didn’t have the extra bronze star.
“Imani didn’t go with you?” I asked.
“No,” Brandon said. “Someone had to stay with the residents.”
“Any sign of Agatha?” I asked.
“Not a one,” he said. “But with these grubs, I’m not surprised. They devour everything. We saw a few level threes on our way up here.”
“Yeah, we need to get moving,” I said. I pointed to an alleyway. “Guys, down that way,” I called to Imani and Chris. They nodded and turned.
“I see a safe room down that way. What’s in there?” Brandon asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “We haven’t checked that one out yet.”
This hallway was only a few meters from the edge of the quadrant. It bordered the one with the kobolds, who we hadn’t yet seen. I kept a wary eye out for dingoes. Some of the residents clapped their hands with delight as we turned into the hallway. Mrs. McGibbons, the one who earlier wanted to watch Divorce Court, looked down at me as they passed. She was on the very last train car, this one only carrying three riders. She was the only one on the platform in a wheelchair. The other two were men with walkers, both sitting down.
The name over the woman said Crawler #12,330,800. “Elle McGib.”
“Hi Carl,” she said.
“Hi Mrs. McGibbons. You remembered my name today,” I said, moving to walk alongside the train.
“This reminds me of the tunnel of love,” she said. “Back in my time, my Barry and I used to always go to the carnival. We’d eat the cotton candy and throw darts at the balloons. We’d go in the tunnel of love. Back then it was a boat. I’d let him touch my boobs, but only on the outside of my sweater.”
I laughed.
“I loved my Barry, but he wasn’t the prettiest man to look at. If you were in the tunnel of love with me, I’d have let you do more than touch them on the outside of my clothes.”
“Uh,” I said. “Thank you?” I couldn’t think of a better response. The old woman cackled. Behind her, Yolanda barked with laughter.
“You’ve been hit on twice now,” Donut said. “Once by a meth-addled goblin shaman and once by Abraham Lincoln’s grandmother. I can’t wait to see who you attract next. Five gold coins says it’s some sort of bog witch with a beard.”
Yolanda had told me earlier that this woman was 99 years old. I looked up at her. Ninety-nine years. She’d lived an entire life. Had a husband, whom she’d clearly loved. It seemed obscene that she’d be here in this place. I thought of the others who’d spent their final hours in a safe room, singing. We should have made them all stay. This isn’t a kindness, keeping them safe.
Donut jumped from my shoulder and landed on the woman’s lap. The cat’s crupper and butterfly talisman jingled when she landed.
“Oh, hello pretty kitty,” the woman said. She started petting the cat. Donut purred loudly.
“Bring that pussy over here,” one of the men said. He laughed lewdly. The man seemed even older than Mrs. McGibbons. He wore a Bengals hat too small for his bulbous head.
“Don’t be crude, Jack,” Yolanda said.
I moved forward to walk alongside Brandon, Chris, and Imani, keeping my eye on the map. Yolanda kept up the rear, walking with her bow at the ready. “We’re taking a left two intersections down, right past that safe room. We’ll have to cross through an infested area, but I’ll firebomb it.”