The oh shit babies consisted of two boom jars with a full-sized gunpowder satchel wrapped in dynamite. Those remained in my own inventory, too dangerous for Donut to touch. They were a last resort, and I prayed we wouldn’t have to use them here.
I watched the red dot stream down the hallway, approaching the corner. Far behind us, the heavy bomb coasted to a stop.
“Hang on,” I cried, and I jammed on the detonator. There was a maddening five-second delay. I turned my attention forward. “Oh fuck.”
We hit the first intersection, filled with the grub pupae, a dozen of them. “What the hell man,” I cried, dodging the giant mounds. I wasn’t expecting them to be this damn big. Donut cried out as the trailer bumped ominously. Each mound was about the size of a human standing erect. Red and yellow lights flashed underneath the wet, pulsating sacs.
“Drop the bola!” I yelled.
We had two levers next to Donut’s chair. The red one and the black one. We’d originally designed these as bomb launchers before we gave up, deciding to just use the more-stable inventory system. But we’d still built two chambers on either side of the MOAB. Donut pulled the black lever, and the bottom of the chamber slid away.
Imani’s chain, with heavy weights at either end, dropped away, snaking through the chamber. The monster, hopefully, would get its legs tangled in the thin, unbreakable link. It probably would only impede it for a second or two, but every second counted.
Behind us, the bomb detonated with a ripping, screaming roar. Dust cascaded off the ceiling. It had blown a half-second too late, hitting the monster in the back. I didn’t dare look behind me, but I could see on the map it had propelled the monster halfway down the hall, even closer to us. The red dot of the elemental rolled to a stop.
“Drop the boom babies,” I cried. This next hall was filled with grubs, mostly level threes, which I hadn’t yet fought. These were larger, about twice as big as the regular grubs. They had long, pointed tails that they whipped ineffectively up at us as we passed. The level threes were too big to just run over with the chopper, and I had to dodge them.
Cow-Tailed Brindle Grub. Level 3.
The final form before they hit the pupa stage, the Cow-Tailed Brindle Grub is finally able to defend itself, kind of like the way a toddler holding a plastic baseball bat is able to defend himself.
“The cars are going to hit the grubs,” Donut cried. “They’re in the way!”
“Do it anyway,” I yelled, increasing speed. Below me, the chopper became dangerously hot.
“Bombs away,” Donut cried. I heard the distinctive clack of the bomb’s wheels locking in place. The torch sizzled as Donut activated it, and it rolled away down the launcher ramp.
Sure enough, the wheeled bomb hit a group of grubs and flipped, crashing and then detonating. A wave of heat washed over me, but I didn’t take any damage. We were going fast enough. Barely. The entire hallway lit with blue flames.
“Yes!” Donut cried. “Burn, baby, burn!”
Further behind, the elemental resumed its pursuit. It stopped yet again a moment later. It’d been ensnared by the chain. The monster roared in anger, shaking the very foundation of the world.
“Away,” Donut called, dropping another boom baby. Then another. Then a third. We continued to carpet bomb the hallway behind us. If the jugs didn’t ignite on their own, Donut hit them with a low-powered magic missile once we were far away enough. She only had to do that a couple times. Most of the cars hit grubs and flipped.
“Whoa!” Donut yelled.
The whole back of the trailer flew up into the air, almost knocking me from my seat. But it crashed down a moment later. A just-launched boom baby flew into the ceiling and exploded.
The elemental had cast its spell, but we’d been too far away. Behind us, the top of the chamber erupted in flames. My head and back burned, and I took a small amount of damage. Donut cried out in pain. She healed herself a moment later with her spell.
“Hold on,” I cried. We were almost there, but I had a sharp left coming up. I could see this hallway was filled with more of the pupae. “Like we talked about! Drop a shredder, wait a second, then do another boom.”
We screeched around the corner, the trailer skidding. I had to jerk around a set of pupae, rising like stalagmites. We’d only made a few of the gunpowder babies, but I’d made them for this part of the stretch. I had no idea if this would work, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.
Donut released the gunpowder and shrapnel-filled bomb. “The shredders.” For these, we used a long length of wick. I had to light wicks using a lighter, but thanks to Donut’s quadruped status, the system allowed her to light them the same way she lit torches, with a mental click. She launched the massive shrapnel grenade. The long wick trailed sparks, like the tail of a rat. The baby crashed into one of the pupa mounds and fell on its side. A moment later, it blew, ripping the pupa to shreds.
I hazarded a glance over my shoulder, just long enough to see several human-sized, hornet-like creatures vomit out of the sacs. The uncooked monsters hit the ground and started convulsing.
I was hoping if I injured the chrysalis sacs, the monsters would come out, and the elemental would waste a valuable second or two ripping them to shreds.
We filled the last stretch of hallway with moonshine and fire. The elemental seemed to be moving more cautiously, but it continued to follow. Ahead, the stairwell materialized.
A warning appeared, blinking ominously just below the handlebars.
Goblin Copper Chopper – Boiler Breach Imminent.
“Goddamnit,” I growled. I’d pushed it too hard. We had 15 seconds. I tried to remember which of the valves to turn to release the pressure. I couldn’t.
“Fuck it,” I said, increasing the speed.
“I thought we were going to the other safe room!” Donut cried. “We’re not going down the stairs, are we?”
We entered the large, round room. The stairwell loomed before us, a hole in the ground with a bright light shining directly up into the air. All around us, pupae pulsed, most of them ringing the walls. There were dozens of them now. All had timers over their heads, some of them only at a few hours.
The actual stairs faced the wrong direction, but that was okay. There was no railing or barrier. This was nothing but a hole in the ground, as wide as one of the tunnels, just like it had been on the surface.
“Oil slick! Then jump,” I cried.
“Jump? Are you crazy!”
“Goddamnit, Donut. Do it!”
She pulled the red lever, and the bottom of the second chamber fell away. Champagne-colored oil sprayed onto the floor.
“Jump,” I cried. Donut and I both leaped from the fast-moving vehicle. It continued its forward trajectory, spilling oil onto the rocky ground, plummeting into the deep stairway hole. The chopper disappeared from view. It crunched, followed by a relatively small explosion. Black smoke billowed into the air.
“What did you do that for?” Donut yelled as we both scrambled to our feet.
“Get your Puddle Jumper spell ready,” I said. I pointed behind us, at the far end of the distant hallway, the opposite direction we’d come. Mordecai’s guild room was just around the corner from there. “Send us there. Cast it when I tell you.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice filled with uncertainty. “Don’t forget, it’s ten seconds!”
The elemental had, indeed, stopped to eviscerate the hornet creatures in the hall, giving me just enough time to think about how much of a crazy asshole I was. The stairs are right there. We can just go down and be safe. If this doesn’t work, you are dead.
I stood right at the edge of the hole.
“Cast now!” I cried.
Why not, I thought, and I pulled one of the oh shit babies from my inventory and gently placed it down on the ground in front of us. It sat there like a giant skateboard. Two boom jars, gunpowder, and a ring of dynamite.