“Are we in trouble?” Donut asked. “That orc guy was really mean to Carl.”
“No,” Zev said. “It was improper for you to attempt to disengage from the interview, but the Borant corporation wishes to commend you for showing proper respect to the organization. They’re actually quite pleased with you right now.”
“Commend us?” I said. “Really?” Proper respect? The thought of giving respect to anything Borant did made me sick. Anyone who mistook fear for respect was a fool.
“The politics regarding all of this is too complicated to even begin to explain. However, that particular production, while technically private, is owned and operated by a prince of a faction that is allied with another faction that is at odds with the Borant system. All of it would make your head spin if I were to explain it to you.”
“If you don’t like those guys, then why did you let them interview us? That show is awful, Zev. It’s…” It’s almost as cruel as the game itself, I almost said. “It’s abusive.”
She nodded. “And I would like to apologize. Mukta should never have booked it. The show I had scheduled also caters to the younger crowd, but it would be a discussion regarding specific tactics you use in the dungeon. They do it in a creative, silly way. But to answer your question, Borant is not allowed to discriminate against Syndicate-member production companies. Especially when said companies are tied to production sponsors. This is monitored very closely by the AI. Anything to do with money is watched carefully, especially this season.”
“So that Maestro asshole is a prince?” I asked. “No wonder he’s such a cheesedick. I didn’t realize he was royalty. I assumed the show didn’t have very much money.”
“He is a prince,” Zev said. “But that production is owned by his older brother, Crown Prince Stalwart. I think their father gives them a small stipend to make the show, probably to keep them busy.”
I thought of that voice that had threatened us when we’d attempted to bail. If that was him, he seemed just as much of a douche as his younger brother. “Prince Stalwart? That name is almost as bad as ‘the Maestro.’”
“They’re orcs. Everything they do is mawkish.”
I had no idea what the word “mawkish” meant, but I assumed it translated to “cheesy.” “So these guys are different than the tusklings? I know they are obviously a different race, but I thought the tusklings were the rulers of all the orcs.”
“The tusklings are the rulers of the Orcish Supremacy. Stalwart and the Maestro are princes of the Skull Empire. That’s a whole different system. If the Orcish Supremacy is a child with a lemonade stand, the Skull Empire is the Wal-Mart corporation. It’s one of the largest and oldest Syndicate governments.”
“Yeah, he’d said something about creating the crawl.” I glanced down at Donut. “He also talked a bit about the ninth floor. How he’s going to be there.”
“Sorry, I can’t really discuss that yet. Mordecai is now authorized to tell you about the third floor, but that’s it.”
“Is there anything you can tell us?” I asked.
She looked pained. “What I can say is that every three floors are the same setting. Sort of. The third, sixth, ninth and so forth are all linked in a way that will later become clear.”
I thought about what Mordecai had whispered to me earlier, that Borant was trying to end the game as soon as possible.
“What if all the crawlers die before the ninth floor even starts?”
“That probably isn’t going to happen,” she said. “It’s starting to look like we’ll get there much faster than usual, but we’ve never had a full player extinction before the ninth floor. It happens on the ninth floor a lot, but not before it. Again, I can’t tell you much, but those floors … three, six, nine, twelve, fifteen, and eighteen, all come into existence at the same time. You can only visit them in context with the rest of the crawl, but that doesn’t mean they’re not being utilized. Whatever happens on the ninth and twelfth floors happens with or without the crawlers. It’s a game within the game where you are not the main focus. At least not until you get there. Sorry, that’s all I can say.”
“Okay,” I said. “I was just wondering. I’m not going to worry about it until we get there, I guess.”
“That’s the spirit! Now we need to talk about the next couple of days. I was just brainstorming with my team, and we agree that you two need to concentrate on building up your character. You’re already in a good position, but a couple extra levels would really help you out. Now that the Meadow Lark storyline is completed, we can wait a day or two before really focusing on the next story arc.”
“Story arc?” I said. “Really?”
“How is this thing with Maggie and Frank going over?” Donut asked.
Zev waved dismissively. “It has potential, but it’s already tired. Those two have a good amount of followers, especially after last night, but not many people think they’re going to survive long enough for that Maggie lady to make good on her threat. She’s not very charismatic, and she’s acting more and more irrationally. This gripe you have with Prince Maestro is getting much more attention, especially with that Pork Boy Snick that just showed up. Two hours old, and it’s already trending all over the social media tunnels. But like we’ve already discussed, that whole story won’t bear fruit until much later. We feel you can get away with coasting for a few days until you hit the next floor down, but once you do hit the over city, you really need to focus on something compelling. Just train, and try not to be too boring. Maybe take out a boss or two. And don’t pick anything weird during race selection.”
“Back up,” I said. “What the hell is a ‘Pork Boy Snick?’”
She chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I need to tell you about this. So, you have… had… a similar phenomenon on earth. Are you familiar with the concept of fan fiction?”
“Wait, what’s that?” Donut asked.
Zev whirled on Donut. “Oh my gods, Donut. You would love it. There was this whole website, and it was filled with stories about Gossip Girl. But it was written by people like you and me. Actual fans, not the writers. So the stories aren’t real. Or canon, they called it. But some were great! I tried writing one once, but it didn’t get many views.”
“That sounds like the greatest thing in the world,” Donut said. “You can make it so the show never ends! Wait. People are writing stories about us? Me and Carl?”
“Yeah, so a snick is kind of like a fan fiction, but it’s a video. So it’s like a fan fiction movie. You can experience the scene from any of the character’s point of view, or you can just watch it. This particular video is short, and a little, what is the word? Um, explicit.”
“What was in the video?” Donut asked. “What do you mean by explicit? Was I in it?”
“No,” Zev said. “Just Carl. Carl and the Maestro. And let’s just say Carl has the upper hand during the scene.”
“Uh,” I said. I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn’t think of anything. “Who made it?”
“So, that’s the interesting part. It’s a bit of a mystery. It showed up just a few hours after your interview. Nobody knows where it came from. But it went very viral, very fast. The quality is flawless. In fact, it came out so fast, some people think it’s real. It’s not… Right?”
“Are you asking me if I fucked the orc?”
“Wait, it’s a sex tape? With Carl and the Maestro?” Donut said. She practically fell off her chair, laughing. “And I thought it was going to be a bog witch that finally stole his heart.”