It was called a Mongoliensis. It was also red-tagged.
“Is it a boy or girl?” Donut asked. “How can I tell? If it’s a boy I’m gonna call him Mongo.” The chicken thing chirped at Donut. “If it’s a girl I’m naming her Sissy.”
“It looks like dinner,” I said. “I think we should get the brindle grub.”
“Give it a pet biscuit,” Donut said. “See if its dot changes to white.”
I sighed and pulled a pet biscuit out. I tried to toss it into the cage, but a blue forcefield appeared, blocking the treat. The chicken cried in outrage and slammed its head against the bars. All up and down the row, all the creatures started squealing and squawking.
If we were going to get a pet, I knew it would be for the best to let Donut have the creature. I didn’t know for certain what attribute counted the most toward keeping it happy and not murdering us in our sleep, but I imagined charisma had a major role. And maybe strength. Donut outranked me in both. I weighed whether or not I should attempt to overrule her.
“If it’s a girl, we can get her a little dress, and she can sit on my shoulder when we do interviews. Can’t you just see it? I’ll be like Paris Hilton with Tinkerbell.”
“Donut,” I said. “I really think..”
Warning: The cages will permanently close in thirty seconds. Translation: hurry the hell up.
“Carl, quick! Please, please, please! I’ll never ask for anything ever again. I promise!”
I sighed. “It’s going to attack us. I’ll grab it, and you try feeding it.”
I took the key, and I jammed it into the lock of the mongoliensis cage. I cracked the door, and the little bastard shot out. I grasped it in both hands. It started thrashing and attempting to bite me. The thing barely weighed anything at all.
I had to sit on the ground while Donut pulled a few pet biscuits from her inventory. They appeared on the ground in front of the thing. It continued to fight me, but it slowed down, eyeing the food. I eased my double-handed grip enough for it to peck at the food like a chicken. It took a few bites then squawked.
The dot remained red.
“Carl, it’s a boy! It’s okay, Mongo. I’m sorry I said I’d put you in a dress. We’ll get you a nice little bow tie, would you like that?”
The creature snapped forward and bit Donut directly on the nose. She squealed in pain.
“Bad! Bad Mongo!”
The baby dinosaur, still in my grip, started screaming back at the cat while I tried to keep myself from falling over with laughter. Donut hissed and swatted it lightly on the head. The small monster squealed indignantly and snapped again at her face.
I examined the creature’s properties.
Male Mongoliensis – Level 1
This is a pet-class mob.
This pet has not yet bonded with a crawler.
The stubborn and hot-headed Mongoliensis is not the type of pet to ever be “tamed.” The best one can hope for is mutual respect. And even then they still might try to eat you if the fancy strikes them. While especially powerful, fast, and vicious when they are fully grown at level 15, getting them to level 15 is about as likely as a cheerleader from West Virginia reaching her 18th birthday as a virgin.
They will immediately attack any mobs they see. They will fight to the death.
Good luck.
“Goddamnit, Donut,” I said. “I knew we should’ve gone with the grub.”
“I’m not going to have a disgusting bug thing as a pet, Carl,” Donut said. “You can’t even put a bow tie on a grub.” She reached forward and patted Mongo on the head. He snapped at her and attached himself to her arm. She yowled and shook her arm until he fell off.
“Well we better figure out how to get this thing to ‘bond’ with you before we go to Mordecai’s room, or Mongo here is going to teleport away the second we walk in there.”
“Don’t worry, Carl. Mongo and I are practically best friends already. Aren’t we, Mongo?”
Mongo shrieked at the cat.
47
Views: 124.8 Trillion
Followers: 2.1 Trillion
Favorites: 234 Billion
The process of getting Mongo to bond with Donut took the rest of our time on the second floor. It also, for whatever reason, appeared to be endlessly amusing to the general public. The continuing fallout from the Maestro sex tape along with Donut getting her nose chomped over and over and over by her new “pet” seemed to be a winning combination, in terms of views, at least. Even though we faced no more bosses or major battles for the remainder of our time on this floor, we were far from idle. Zev was beside herself with our numbers, which apparently were exceptionally good for the second floor.
We received daily updates from the PR agent. The pet was playing well. Zev implored me to stop training with the slingshot. Nobody liked me using the “boring” slingshot, she claimed, not when I could toss a stick of dynamite instead. I ignored her advice and continued practicing with it. I managed to get the skill up to five. And while the tiny stones did very little damage, they had the ability to knock the brindled vespas out of the air. A single hit to one of the hornet’s wings caused it to crash to the ground and make it unable to spit its acid. A follow-up magic missile from Donut—whose skill in the spell had risen to eight—usually killed them off. We didn’t need to wander far when we had an almost endless supply of the level-eight hornets to hunt.
The first thing we did after winning Mongo was go talk to Mordecai. The creature fit in the gerbil cage. Barely. It wasn’t ideal, and it was cruel to keep him in there. But if I carried him in my hands, he spent every free moment trying to bite me. If we stuck him in the cage, it allowed us to take him into a safe room without having to worry about him teleporting away. That is, as long as we kept our fingers away from the bars.
“Don’t ask me about that thing until you start the bonding process,” Mordecai said. “The rules are a little weird about taming dungeon pets.” In his cage, Mongo screamed and hissed at the guide. “Once you figure out how to remove his automatic hostility, which is the first step, come back, and I’ll give you more info.”
“Remove his hostility? Like how I did with the danger dingoes?” I asked.
“That’s right. You can’t bond with a creature when its aggro is activated. If you see that dot turn white, come back here, and I can help after that.”
Donut and I opened up our loot boxes from the boss fight. Donut “coincidentally” received a spell book of Heal Critter. I received yet another Potion of Determine Value (which had come from a Looter Box, not a boss box last time) and 1,000 gold coins. I wondered about that. There seemed to be a reason why the system kept giving these things to me. I drank it down, and I had a few new sort options for my inventory, including a new history tab. I would explore all that later. It still didn’t tell me the monetary value of my individual items.
I also received an achievement for feeding the danger dingoes.
New achievement! PETA Enthusiast!
You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you.
Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.
“Okay,” I said. “So, let’s talk about the third floor.”
“All right, here we go,” Mordecai said. He rubbed his furry hands together. “Here’s the deal.”