Trans Tunnel 7C Orator Relay by Valtay Corp. – Inter-Tunnel Communications Device.
Valtay Perso-Shield Platinum Edition. – Tech-based Personal Shield.
Mag 3040 Valtay Corp Pulse Pistol. – Tech-based Weapon.
The first item had a red exclamation point next to it. I hovered over the red mark, and a warning popped up.
Warning: The System AI governing this program has deemed all non-sanctioned and monitored communication devices illegal, and they will not work within the dungeon. You may own and sell illegal devices, but any attempt to use or circumvent dungeon rules will result in immediate disqualification.
I was completely at a loss.
“Somebody’s coming,” Donut said. “There’s a blue dot moving toward us.”
My first thought was Frank and Maggie. I jumped to my feet and pulled up the map. It wasn’t them. The moment I saw who it was, though, I realized I knew exactly where those items in my inventory had come from. The realization hit me like a brick. Well, that’s a weird coincidence.
“Agatha,” I said. “Holy shit, she’s still alive.”
I had taken her entire shopping cart into my inventory during that boss battle with the Ball of Swine. So much had happened so quickly during that battle, I’d never actually examined the individual items of her cart. I’d never even thought to do it. I looked now, and sure enough all of it was there. The shopping cart. An inordinate amount of IKEA bags and cans of spray paint. Blankets. Clothes. And a goddamned “Pulse pistol.” All three of the items appeared to be manufactured by the same company. The Valtay Corporation.
My mind raced. I thought of what Brandon had said. Agatha had been the one to set their old folk’s home on fire, bringing everyone outside. The act had, temporarily, saved the lives of hundreds of people. But did she work for Borant? Had someone just given her that stuff, and she didn’t know what it was? And why the hell hadn’t she shown up on the recap episode? Should I say something?
“You ain’t dead,” Agatha said a few minutes later as she wheeled the squeaking shopping cart into the room. The woman was still level four, the same she’d been since the boss battle with the tusklings.
“Where have you been?” I asked, moving toward her.
“Don’t touch me!” she cried, shuffling faster toward the stairs. “You’re a cart thief. I don’t trust cart thieves.”
“Hey, I gave it back,” I said.
She didn’t answer. She just pushed her cart toward the stairs.
I was tempted to grab her cart again, but only for a second. Whatever this was, it was something well beyond my current ability to understand or process. And getting involved with it probably wasn’t good for my health, especially when I didn’t know what the hell was going on. Never trust someone if their motivations aren’t clear. Odette had said that to me. Still, I was overwhelmed with curiosity.
I thought of that saying. Curiosity killed the cat.
Mongo screamed at Agatha, but Donut whispered a quiet command and the little monster held back. Agatha gave the dinosaur no heed. The stairs had already turned into a ramp thanks to the earlier descent by Brandon and crew.
“I see the others made it down,” Agatha muttered as she pushed the cart forward.
“You should wait ten minutes,” I called. “If you go down now, you’ll lose six hours. Plus I need to talk to you… About your shopping cart.” I added that last part without thinking, and I immediately regretted it. Don’t get involved, you idiot!
Agatha paused. She gave me a sharp look. Through her rheumy eyes, I saw a warning there. No, those eyes said, stop now.
“I can fix the wheel,” I quickly added. “It’s squeaking. They can hear you coming.”
She blinked, and the look went away so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it.
“No need to fix m’squeak, boy. Them critters already know I’m here. They just don’t know what to do about it. You worry about you, and I worry about me.”
She continued down the stairs, quickly disappearing from view.
Zev: Are you guys okay?
DONUT: WE ARE FINE ARE YOU OKAY?
Zev: Okay, false alarm. I see you now. There was a brief outage there in the feed. It happens sometimes. Odette says she’s ready whenever you are, so feel free to go down starting in seven minutes. I won’t be able to talk to you until after you’re done with the race and class selection. I guess I’ll see you guys on the other side. Good luck.
Carclass="underline" How long was the feed out?
Zev: Just a couple minutes. It’s been acting funky all day. Don’t worry, it’s nothing unusual. People are always complaining about it. I’m on planet, and I still have feed issues.
Them critters already know I’m here. They just don’t know what to do about it.
Christ, I thought. What sort of bullshit was this? I thought back to the inventory potion. The moment I’d discovered the items, Agatha had appeared. Was that a coincidence? Was she working with the system AI? I shook my head.
A week and a half ago, I’d been planning on kidnapping a prize-winning cat and then selling everything I owned in order to bribe my ex-girlfriend to keep her from suing me. And even that was more drama than I’d ever wanted to deal with. All of this… with the Skull Empire and everything else, it was just too much, too fast. How could we focus on surviving when we had all this other stuff to deal with?
I sighed. I watched the timer finally run down to six hours.
“Come on, Donut,” I said. “Let’s see what this third floor is all about.”
“Do you think it’ll be as exciting as the second floor?” she asked.
“God, I hope not,” I said.
Mongo screeched.
Epilogue
“You do realize that thing is going to get you killed, right?” Odette asked after the conclusion of her show. Donut was currently chasing Mongo around the studio. The little dinosaur kept running head-first into the invisible wall and screaming. Lexis, Odette’s production assistant, had given the small monster a bow tie to wear on the show, and he’d practically bitten off her finger. The tie had lasted about three seconds before he’d ripped it off.
The taping had gone well. We’d started off by discussing the whole thing with the rage elemental. Then we talked about Mongo. Donut had trained him to perch quietly on her back, clinging onto her fur. He’d behaved himself. Mostly. Odette had mentioned something about a magical pet carrier, which apparently was the dungeon’s equivalent of a pokeball. They were supposedly expensive, but it would allow us to put bonded pets into inventory without harming them. I didn’t care how much they cost. If we could afford it, it was going to be one of our first purchases. No more shoving Mongo into the gerbil cage and then sticking him in the bathroom so we couldn’t hear his shrieks while we slept.
I’d known what was coming next.
After the segment on Mongo, I’d finally gotten to see a shortened version of the infamous Pork Boy Snick. Donut had found it hilarious. The mysterious creator of the video had been very… generous… with my proportions. I’d been half-expecting the video to feature my feet prominently. I didn’t dare say it out loud, but I had this strange notion that the system AI might’ve had something to do with the video. But if it did, the video showed nothing to indicate it. In fact, it had clearly been produced by someone more interested in the Maestro than me, as he was the obvious subject of the video.