My eyes shifted from Rod to her. “Yes, but I still would like Rod to go. Safety in numbers.”
I received Nicky’s agreement, and seized the opportunity to leave. It was a task I didn’t look forward to. No matter how many ways I rehearsed it in my mind, there was no delicate way to tell Burke about Hebba.
No sooner did I walk around to the back of my house and I saw Burke in Mark’s yard. My insides shook, and I was scared to death. He was wrestling with Mark’s small tool shed. He’d bang against the shed with his body, pull at it, and bang it again. Arms folded tight to me, I walked over. “Burke.”
Burke slammed into the shed.
“Burke, I need to speak to you.” I inched closer.
“I’m kind of…” He grunted as he hit into shed again. “Busy.”
“I see that, but this…”
“I want to get this loosened, Craig’s almost done digging.”
Instantly, I looked. My focus had been so much on Burke; I failed to see Craig digging in my backyard. I knew what he was unearthing. At the beginning of the previous summer, we had dug a coffin size hole in the backyard. In that hole we had placed large water bottles. We had purchased one bottle a week until we filled that hole. We covered it with a sheet of plywood, and buried it.
“Why?” I asked. “Is Craig digging up our water? We don’t need it yet, do we?”
“No.” Burke struggled his words, working on the tool shed. “We’re putting the bottles in the basement, because we need the hole.”
“For?”
“The outhouse.” He stayed preoccupied with his mission. “If we have an outhouse, we can use all the undrinkable water for washing. So we’re…” Burke sighed out when the shed shifted an entire foot. “Ah, there.” He brushed off his hands. “We’re taking this bad boy putting it over the hole and making it a…” he finally looked at me. “What’s wrong? You were crying. Did something happen?”
“Yes.” I felt my insides tremble, and my eyes water. I reached down and grabbed his hand, turning it palms up. Curiosity screamed through his eyes, until I laid in his hand a gold wedding band. When I knew that he recognized it, I laid my hand over his and squeezed. “I know where Hebba is.”
There is a suspension of disbelief when it comes to a painful truth. No matter how much a person is forewarned, a protective barrier prevents them from fully comprehending the ‘bad’ until they are faced with it. I knew in my heart and in my mind, that it didn’t matter what I told Burke, when he saw the extent of Hebba’s condition, it would hit him like a tidal wave, bolt him over, and leave him disoriented.
My strong friend went through various channels of emotions and reactions when I told him. He was shocked, then didn’t believe. He raged from guilt over not finding her to anger that she was lumped into a massive conglomerate of nameless, faceless people.
After informing the others that we wouldn’t be long, Burke and I headed off. We were able to jumpstart a pickup truck that wasn’t completely encased or covered with rubble. Not that we needed to drive there, we needed the truck. Our sole purpose in going to the rescue station wasn’t just to see Hebba, it was to get Hebba and bring her back.
I know how Burke felt. I didn’t need to guess or to try to imagine. I was there not twenty-four hours earlier with Sam. Internally, I was certain what Burke would feel, but outwardly I was unsure. What would his initial reaction be?
Stepping into the tent brought a whole new vision of the war to Burke. He, like me, was so focused on our group we didn’t think about anyone else. But unlike me, Burke saw the victims the split second he walked inside. The dark color of his eyes seemed to absorb all the white, as Burke kept his eyes squinted. His views shifted—slow but edgy—from one cot to the next. I watched as his thick neck grew red and his jaw muscles tensed up.
I grabbed his arm and whispered, “This way.”
Burke turned to look at me. His eyes, the beads of sweat that formed on his forehead, his expression, they all screamed at me as if to say, ‘This can’t be real.’
I led him only a few steps and he stopped. Burke’s head cocked, and he swallowed so predominantly, his entire neck moved. I could tell he saw Hebba, even though she was a good twenty feet away. He saw her. Immediately, he pulled from my lead and rushed over, zigzagging his body between the cots.
I hurried behind him, losing my breath from anxiousness instead of movement. I wanted to be there as a sense of support for when he saw her. Somehow a part of me expected him to cry out. To yell at the top of his lungs, and curse God, man, the government—anything. Burke didn’t.
In such a loss of what to do, Burke’s hands lifted momentarily over Hebba, then Burke dropped down to one knee and his head fell forward to the cot.
Silence.
Taking Hebba from the rescue station wasn’t as easy as just picking her up and bringing her with us. Her physical condition was delicate, and in order to move her we had to move her while she was on the cot. A hindrance that Burke and I assumed would lessen with the arrival of the evening hours. I thought that maybe I could pull some strings with my newfound acquaintance Tanner Niles. But that brainstorm quickly departed because Tanner wasn’t in the tent, and looking for him wasn’t an option.
We decided to wait until nightfall, hoping that Hebba could hold on until then. In the meanwhile I had to go and check on my family. It was my reasoning for leaving, along with excuse. I couldn’t stay at the rescue station another minute. Not with all the sickness, the death, Hebba crying out in cat-like screams, and Burke just staring with a cold expression. Burke and I talked some. Not much, but enough to convey the needed plan.
I expected to be bombarded with questions when I returned to the shelter. To my surprise, not only was it quiet, but Rod was playing watchdog, holding Burke’s shotgun at the bottom of the basement stairs.
“What’s going on?” I asked Rod. “It’s quiet.”
“Craig’s next door. Dan’s preparing a delightful split pea soup for us all and Nicky is playing kindergarten teacher.”
“What?”
“Curtain number two.” Rod pointed.
I followed Rod’s instructions and walked to the second partition area. “I’m back.” I called out, opening the curtain. Upon entering I saw what Rod meant. Nicky had Davy, Matty, and Simon on the floor before her. Empty baby food jars were sprawled about, and the bag of topsoil was neatly opened.
“Look, Jo.” Nicky smiled pleasantly, and spoke eerily upbeat. “We’ve started the seedlings. Craig said radiation levels have fallen enough to place the jars in the sunlight. Get them growing so we can take them to the cabin and be farmers. Right kids?”
Simon brightly looked at me. “I’m planting peas.”
“Are you? Good boy.” I said. “What a good job. Matty? What are you planting?”
Matty brought her one shoulder nearly to her ear in a half-shrug. She murmured, “Corn.”
“Davy?” I asked.
Less than enthused, Davy answered, “Oats.”
“And I’m planting carrots.” Nicky smiled. “This was a great idea on your part, Jo. Really.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t know how to react to Nicky’s behavior. I wondered if it was a front for the kids.
“Jo? How’s Hebba?” Nicky asked. “Was she happy to see Burke? Tell her we hope she gets well, and we’re getting a nice room ready for her next door at our new home. Aren’t we kids? Do you think she’ll like that, Jo?”
Did Nicky seriously expect me to answer? My mouth opened, and I couldn’t even speak. Hope she gets well? Nice room? Our new home? The best I could do was muster up a nod and step out of the area.