“What about infection?” Craig queried further. “Wouldn’t you want to take it further just…”
Burke’s hand slammed down on the table. “Enough. The man’s the doctor not you.”
Tanner lifted his hand. “That’s OK. I would like to take it off at the joint, but that presents blood control problems. So we chance it and take it off mid bicep. Plus, to be honest, there’s a good chance it won’t even make a difference.”
“So why do it?” Craig asked.
Calmly, Tanner responded, “So she doesn’t die. She will within two or three days if we don’t remove the arm.”
Dan who was silent, spoke up, “I say let her die. Don’t waste the time.”
Huffing out, I shot a hard glance Dan’s way. “You would. You would want to take the easy route out. No effort.”
“Jo.” Tanner interceded peacefully. “As callous as it sounds. He’s right. But her death poses a problem. We can’t have her die in the shelter. She’s already a health risk to us all as she is. Let me explain something. When a body gives way, so do all of its bodily functions. Tammy is a very ill woman. She dies; she’ll have to be removed. Not only will we risk radiation by taking her out, we have to clean up after her. Risk.”
Burke exhaled loudly and sat back. “Then there is no choice.”
Tammy’s “Bullshit!” rang in the room. “Bullshit. It’s my life. My arm.”
Rod tried to be the voice of reason. “If you don’t let them take the arm, you will die. Plain and simple.”
“Then I die.” Tammy said with edge.
“So you’re giving up?” Rod asked. “Not gonna fight?”
Tammy hesitated before answering. “No, I’m not gonna fight. And that’s my choice.” She began to walk away.
Burke stood up. “You’re right.”
Tammy stopped.
“You’re right.” Burke continued in a strangely calm manner. “You have a choice. Two choices. You lose the arm, or you leave this shelter.”
“You can’t order me out.”
“The hell I can’t.” Burke moved to her. His voice was stern yet in control. “You staying here with that arm like that is a risk. You dying here is a bigger risk. You wanna keep the arm, you wanna opt for death. Fine. I don’t give a shit. But if you go with that decision, then you go. Period. Pack your shit up and leave. I won’t have you die here. I won’t. There is no choice for me when it comes to everyone here. If you don’t go, I’ll take you out. Make your choice and make it now.”
Sometimes all it takes is a child.
In the silence of the room, filled with the tension of debate, Simon poked through. He walked directly to Tammy. “Please get better.” He lifted his little hand to her. “I’ll give you my candy.”
Tammy didn’t take Simon’s candy, but she made the decision to give up the limb that was delivering her death sentence. A surgical team was needed, and we were it. We all had our parts. Each one of us played an intricate role somehow. A supporting cast in a bizarre off Broadway production, and Tammy was the star.
To say it was less than barbaric would be a lie. The operating room was the garage. A tent was laid out the floor, and Tammy was stripped down. She wore only a sheet wrapped around her body. A tourniquet was placed at the top of Tammy’s bicep, while her arm was secured to a two by four—a cushion for Burke when he made his surgical sweep. An old cast iron frying pan was tossed in the fireplace. It glowed red-hot, while Dan stood by to grab it and run it in when Tanner yelled ‘now’. Rod and I were the support and comfort duo, positioned by Tammy’s head, ready to hold her down. Tanner—with only a few measly medical supplies—knelt at Tammy’s feet. Nicky had a dirty job, she volunteered for it and none of us argued. She held a bucket of water, which she was to use sparingly to wash away the abundance of blood. Craig was the support, on call in that garage to take over any position needed. Except Burke’s. Nobody wanted Burke’s job. Even if any of us had the strength to pull it off, we still would turn it down. I wondered as we prepared if it was a task Burke would regret for the rest of his life. Would he dream of it? Would it haunt him? Or, possibly, would he not even give it a second thought?
It was an all-go, the time was at hand, and then Tammy started to react. I suppose seeing Burke raise the ax had a lot to do with it. Rod and I held her tight, but it was a struggle.
“Hold her better.” Tanner instructed.
“We’re trying.” I replied.
Burke grunted. “I can’t… if she’s gonna move her arm. Craig, stand on her hand.”
“What!” Craig gasped in shock.
Tammy’s loud, ‘No!’ was screeching as she thrashed back and forth.
Tanner held tight to Tammy’s ankles and looked at Rod and me. “Guys, come on.”
Rod snapped, “We’re trying. Can’t Nicky help…” Before Rod could even finish his sentence, Tammy swung out, knocked me back, kicked out at Tanner, and rolled to get to her feet. Rod was quick, just as Tammy stood; he swung out his legs and tripped her.
Tammy sailed face first to the ground.
I was stunned; I regained my balance and saw as Craig hurried to Tammy.
He reached for her, and she immediately fought him. “We should have knocked her out!” Craig shouted.
“We can’t.” Tanner said, reaching out trying to help control Tammy. “If we use what we have to knock her out, then we won’t have enough for her later.”
“Chance it.” Craig argued.
“After the removal, the shock will make her pass…” he grunted as he tried to hold on to her. “Pass out. Can someone help here!”
Growling almost, Tammy’s head went back and forth. “Let me go! Let me go!”
Burke raged over to her. “This is ridiculous. Fuck it. Let her go.”
“Let’s just knock her out.” Craig implored. “Tanner!”
“Fine.” Tanner gave up. “We’ll knock her out. Burke we’re knocking her out.”
“Fuck, why do I always get the dirty jobs?” he complained.
Tanner muttered in confusion. “What are you talking about? We just need to knock her out.”
“Fine!” Burke blasted, and then before anything could be said, with a tightly closed fist, he landed a solid punch square in Tammy’s jaw.
She stopped screaming, her legs wobbled, and Tammy passed out.
The garage went quiet.
Rod cleared his throat, and spoke in a whisper to me, “Well, that took care of that.”
Burke breathed heavily, looking at Tammy, a look of aggravation was across his face.
Tanner stared at Burke for a second before speaking, “We were… I meant we were gonna use… never mind.” He shook his head. “Good job. Let’s do this.”
The three men carried Tammy back over to the tent and laid her down. Positions were taken again; only this time, it seemed tenser.
Burke lifted the ax. In a raspy, low voice he called to Craig, “Can you secure the board? Please?”
Craig nodded and walked over to Tammy’s arm. He used his foot to nudge up her fingers and her slid his foot under her hand on the board. “Go on.” He said, and turned his head.
Tanner gazed up to Burke. “Don’t think about it, just do it. Put all your anger, hurt and emotions into that one swing. Got it?”
Burke nodded.
I watched Burke. He swallowed hard, and a thin line a sweat formed on his brow. Knees slightly bent, his hands gripped the handle, tensing up and releasing several times before Burke raised the ax. It was coming, Burke’s jaw tightened, and his eyes aimed. I didn’t want to watch. The flex of the muscle in Burke’s right forearm was my clue. I closed my eyes, and turned my head just as the ax ‘whooshed’ through the air. My entire body jolted when I heard the steel blade hit the concrete of the floor.
“Oh, God.” Rod groaned out. “He cut right through.”