I’ve come to the edge of words now, to the place where they falter and strain in the face of dying’s terrifying finality. The reason I was always such a fan of film is that films are about showing not telling. If I were writing my death scene for a film my very last moments would go something like this. A montage. Shaky, over-exposed home-movie footage of a girl with a dog in dappled sunshine, a car speeding down a dusty road, the same girl on a beach with palm trees, arm in arm with her mother in some outback moonscape, crossing the tarmac at an airport with a silver jet in the background. The jet takes off. A kookaburra sits on a branch laughing. A skink slinks away under cover.
Fade to black.
Acknowledgments
This book would not have happened without Penny Hueston, my editor at Text, who gave me the idea and cheered me along throughout. For all their love and kindness along the way I’d like to thank Yuriko Nagata, Terry Martin, Alfreda Stadlin, Peter Dodd, Kaoru Kikuchi and John Slee. To Barbara Masel, who for so many years has been my first reader, my friend, my adviser, I owe too much to ever express or repay.
I’m also deeply indebted to the nurses and staff at Karuna, who have provided me with the peace of mind to work on this project despite my failing health. I could not have wished for more compassionate care and counselling over these past months. And my thanks to the late Susan Addison.
And of course I thank Shin, for everything he is and does.
Praise
PRAISE FOR ME AND MR BOOKER
Winner of the 2012 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize, Pacific Region
‘One of the best coming-of-age novels I’ve ever read… Me and Mr Booker is sexy, smart and brutally funny.’ Benjamin Law
‘Restrained, surprisingly moving and compulsively readable, Cory Taylor’s debut novel is a nuanced and touching portrait of a doomed relationship.’ Sun-Herald
‘Cory Taylor’s characters are magnificently created.’ Australian
‘Taylor’s no-nonsense voice and eagle eye will assure her of many readers of all ages.’ Age
PRAISE FOR MY BEAUTIFUL ENEMY
Shortlisted for the 2014 Miles Franklin Literary Award
‘Her memorable and engaging narrative draws the reader into this world with great compassion.’ Miles Franklin judges
‘An almost unbearably beautiful story about longing and secret lives in which grief and joy turn out to be much the same thing.’ Robert Dessaix
‘A haunting tale told with plangent simplicity… There is a wistful beauty to the book that can make the heart ache even as the mind is deploring the emotional carnage.’ Adelaide Advertiser
‘A moving and accomplished novel that explores fascinating untold lives from our past.’ Sydney Morning Herald
Bio
Cory Taylor is an award-winning novelist and screenwriter who has also published short fiction and children’s books. Her first novel, Me and Mr Booker, won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize (Pacific Region) in 2012 and her second novel, My Beautiful Enemy, was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin Award in 2014. She lives in Brisbane.
Copyright
The Text Publishing Company
Swann House
22 William Street
Melbourne Victoria 3000
Australia
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
Copyright © Cory Taylor, 2016
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright above, no part of this publication shall be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.
First published in 2016 by The Text Publishing Company.
Book design by W.H. Chong.
Typeset by J&M Typesetting.
The paper used in this book is manufactured only from wood grown in sustainable regrowth forests.
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Creator: Taylor, Cory, author.
Title: Dying: A Memoir.
Subject: Death, Dying, Assisted dying, Family.
ISBN: 9781925355772 (paperback)
ISBN: 9781925410198 (ebook)