‘Oh,’ I said. ‘So he doesn’t want a boyfriend?’
‘He says he’s not big into labels,’ Colin explained. ‘With his last boyfriend, he says they got serious too soon and that they both just ended up getting hurt. He doesn’t want that to happen to us.’
‘And you’re OK with that?’ I asked. I couldn’t help but think that this was hurting Colin.
‘I told him I was OK with it.’
‘But you’re not?’ I said.
‘Of course I’m not!’ exclaimed Colin. ‘I’ve never had a boyfriend. I want one – I don’t care if I get hurt! Maybe he’ll change his mind…’
‘I dunno,’ I said. ‘If he says he doesn’t want to get serious then -’
Nick came back to the table and Colin started to talk about what dessert he was going to order. I don’t think he wanted to talk about it in front of Nick, so I decided to leave any further questioning until later.
‘Sophie, can I sit there?’ said Ross. ‘I want to sit beside Jacki.’ People were starting to wander into the auditorium. We were some of the first there, so we’d got really good seats.
‘Why?’ said Sophie.
‘Because I haven’t seen her in ages.’
‘Neither have I,’ said Sophie.
I laughed. ‘He wants to sit there in case a hot girl sits next to him,’ I explained.
‘What?’ said Sophie.
‘Sophie,’ said Ross, standing up straighter as if about to give a lecture. ‘This is a Shakespearean play. Which means there is about a seventy-five per cent chance that a female is going to sit in that empty seat next to you. Out of that seventy-five per cent, considering this is a youth theatre production, there’s about a forty per cent chance that female will be between fifteen and nineteen years old. Out of that forty per cent, there’s a twenty-one per cent chance that girl will be single. That’s a chance I’m willing to take.’
‘Those statistics are completely wrong,’ said Sophie.
‘What’s wrong,’ said Ross, ‘is that you’re still sitting in my seat.’
Sophie sighed and stood up, then shuffled in past Nick and Colin and me. The auditorium was filling up, mostly with friends and family of the cast. I recognized a few of Hannah’s friends from drama class, and there were a couple of guys we used to hang out with sitting in the front row. I waved over at them and they waved back.
‘I’ve really missed you,’ whispered Nick, playing with the bracelet on my wrist.
‘I’ve missed you too,’ I said.
‘Shhh,’ said a woman in the front row as the curtain rose, and we couldn’t say any more.
Sophie, Colin, Ross, Nick and I were standing in a circle when Hannah came skipping across the lobby.
‘Well?’ she said. ‘What did you think?’
‘You were brilliant,’ I said, which was a nice way of saying ‘The play kind of sucked, but you didn’t.’ She was brilliant though – she always is. Hannah wants to do drama at Trinity, and her entire life seems to be devoted to this goal. She gets involved in as many plays as she can manage – her CV must be a hundred pages long at this stage. If she doesn’t get in, I’m not sure what she’s going to do. Ross has always said he’s going to emigrate the day our college offers come out because he’s scared of what sort of destruction she’ll cause if she doesn’t get in.
‘I really liked the costumes,’ said Colin. He sounded a bit more cheerful than earlier, which was good.
‘Did you all get a programme?’ asked Hannah.
‘Yep,’ we said in unison. ‘Will you sign mine?’ I said, just because I knew she was dying for somebody to ask.
‘I think I’m gonna head on,’ Nick whispered.
‘What?’ I couldn’t believe he was bailing so early. ‘But we’re going out after. Can’t you stay for another little while? We haven’t really had a chance to catch up properly.’
‘I’m crashing at my aunt’s house and she doesn’t like it when I come back too late. Besides, I didn’t realize I’d have to come to this tonight.’
‘Aw, Nick, I’m sorry the evening didn’t work out,’ I whispered. ‘I couldn’t wait to see you. But I couldn’t not go to Hannah’s play, she’d have killed me.’
‘Back in a sec!’ said Hannah. ‘I think I see some of the girls from dance class over there.’
‘I’m just really tired,’ said Nick more loudly.
‘Jesus, Nick, would you ever man up,’ said Colin jokingly.
‘What?’ said Nick.
‘C’mon, stop moaning.’
‘Will you just stay out of this,’ said Nick. ‘I’m going,’ he added, turning to me. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’ He kissed me quickly on the cheek and walked out of the theatre. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I looked at the others, who all seemed equally stunned. I ran after him, but he was already out of sight by the time I’d pushed my way through the crowd. I couldn’t hold back the tears; I was so upset that he’d just left like that.
Colin came out after me.
‘Why did you have to say that?’ I asked. ‘He was already in a bad mood; you’ve just gone and made it worse.’
‘Why are you even still with him?’ said Colin. ‘How the hell do you listen to that?’
‘You can’t choose who you love, Colin. Your heart chooses it.’
‘Well, tell your heart to catch up with your head. You can choose when to let go of them. And you need to cut that loose, Jacki, because he’s not treating you right.’
‘How dare you say that!’ I was getting angrier by the second. ‘You’re just jealous because you’ve never had a proper boyfriend.’ The moment I’d said it I wished I could reach into the air and snatch it back, but it was out there now, and I saw Colin’s reaction. He was really hurt.
‘Oh yeah, I’m so jealous that I don’t get to stand in Temple Bar with mascara smeared down my face, running after some guy in a Ramones T-shirt with crap hair and an even crappier band.’
‘Why do you hate him so much?’
‘I don’t hate him, I love you! And I can’t stand watching you get walked all over by him. The others are happy to stand on the sidelines and nod and smile while you make excuses for him, but I’m not. You have to wake up!’
‘I don’t understand why you’re being so horrible to me.’
‘I’m not the one being horrible to you, Jacki. Call me when you cop on to that.’
Colin stormed off in the same direction as Nick, and I was left standing there, alone.
Chapter 13
The next day I went into a coffee shop in town to meet another person who’d been at the party – Sasha Finnigan. She had an alibi, but had heard about me from Ellie and wanted to help in any way she could, so I decided to meet with her. I figured it would do no harm to hear about the party from somebody who wasn’t a suspect. I tried to forget about last night, to concentrate on the case and get the image of the hurt look on Colin’s face out of my head. And, most of all, I tried to forget how angry I was at Nick.
We’d arranged to meet in the coffee shop in Tower Records, one of my favourite places in the entire universe. I was early so I had a look at the EPs on sale down the back of the shop. I really wanted a turntable. I had an old record player that had belonged to my dad, but it was very temperamental and didn’t always work. That didn’t stop me buying records though. I saw lots that I wanted, but I was trying to save some money to buy a new amp, so didn’t make any purchases. I also had a look in the book section and flicked through Bob Dylan’s Chronicles until it was four thirty and time to meet Sasha.
When I went upstairs, she was already sitting at one of the tables. The coffee shop was decorated with mismatched furniture and had a 70s vibe. The milk was in glass bottles on the tables and the armchairs were like something you’d expect to find in your grandparents’ back room. On the ceiling there were framed posters of classic movies, and stacks of film magazines were scattered about.