Otto offered to check whether Reijer had returned in the meantime, but Betsy said there was no need, so he ushered Eline out of the room. He had spent the day at the office, and had arranged to go for a walk with Eline afterwards, but now he led her to the salon, where they seated themselves on the sofa. She began to cry.
‘Betsy said it has happened before, but I’ve never seen anything like it in my whole life. I thought he was dying! Aunt Vere had the same look about her mouth when she died,’ she said breathlessly.
He pressed her to his chest and kissed her forehead.
‘Come now my darling, you must calm down. I am sure he will be all right. Why, you’re shaking!’
‘Oh, I’m in such a state! My nerves. . Oh, Otto!’
He patted her hand gently.
‘There, there, you must try and calm down.’
‘I get so dreadfully upset. . I can’t bear this sort of thing.’
She felt something like a twinge of conscience, wondering whether there could be any connection between the last words she had spoken to Vincent and his fainting fit. But she couldn’t recall what their conversation had had been about, so she leant her head wearily against Otto’s shoulder.
‘Childish of me, isn’t it?’ she murmured, still trembling. ‘But I can’t help being squeamish; I remember once seeing a dog being run over, and it still makes me shudder to think of it!’
‘You’re a little oversensitive,’ he said.
‘Oh yes, I’m so. . I feel so. . never mind, just hold me,’ she murmured, leaning closer to him.
‘Darling!’ he whispered.
‘My Otto, my very own Otto,’ she sighed. ‘Oh yes, I’m far too sensitive. How you’ll put up with me I cannot imagine. I’m always so. . Oh poor Vincent, I do feel sorry for him, don’t you?’
‘Yes I do; he doesn’t seem at all well.’
She continued to lean against his shoulder for some time, and gradually calmed down. Her weeping subsided, but her eyes remained moist and sad, for she was thinking of that split second when she had seen the ghost, willing herself to recall what it had looked like, the better to banish it for ever. The ghost must never, ever come back to haunt her, it was just too upsetting!
. .
After a hurried lunch following the physician’s visit, Betsy decided to send Dirk with the coupé to fetch Dr Reijer after all, and when the latter arrived she went with him to see Vincent, who had been put to bed in his room. As it was not the first time Vincent had fainted, she knew what to do: following Dr Reijer’s instructions, she made sure his head was lower than the rest of his body by stuffing cushions under his back. Slowly Vincent came to himself again. He opened his eyes a moment, and trailed his hand over the coverlet. Dr Reijer turned down the light in the room and prescribed complete rest for the patient.
‘It’s not dangerous, is it, doctor?’ asked Betsy downstairs in the salon, where Eline, Otto and Henk were waiting.
‘Not immediately, dear lady,’ replied Reijer, hurriedly buttoning up his smart demi-season coat. ‘But you do realise, twice in relatively short succession. . It does not bode well for Mr Vere’s state of health. I have the impression he suffers from anaemia; altogether a weak constitution, very weak. What he needs is repose, as I mentioned before. Have you seen the Ferelijn family? They are all looking very well, including the children. Such a charming lady. Well now, au revoir. I will gladly make use of your vehicle again, thank you. Au revoir, Mr van Raat, I’ll let myself out.’
Anna the nursemaid would keep vigil at Vincent’s bedside. The house was silent; Henk retired for a rest and Betsy went upstairs with Ben to put him to bed herself rather than risk a commotion by leaving this task to the erratic Mina. Otto and Eline remained in the anteroom.
‘Are you feeling better?’ he asked as she settled herself on a cushion at his feet.
She took a deep breath and nodded reassuringly. Indeed, she felt quite calm and safe sitting there resting her head against his knee, and had no desire to dwell on the muddled thoughts crowding her mind: Vincent’s sudden illness, the conversation they had been having which she couldn’t remember, the pity she felt for this cousin of hers, who reminded her so very much of her father. But no, she was determined not to think about any of these things; she was determined to be happy, here and now, close to her Otto.
‘I always feel better when I’m with you. You’re so good to me.’
‘A while ago you mentioned that you sometimes get very nervous for no reason. Melancholy, too, I believe. In this case there certainly was a reason, of course, so it is perfectly natural that you were upset. But I want you to promise me that next time you feel nervous for no reason you will come straight to me.’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘You’ll come to me and tell me exactly how you feel, and you’ll trust me because I love you and will always do everything in my power to make you feel better. Promise?’
‘All right, I promise. I never had anyone to talk to before, except Henk, in whom I confided from time to time, but I don’t believe he understood me, although he was extremely kind. At least I have you now! Oh, Otto, don’t you believe that true love only happens once in a lifetime? I mean real, true love, not just having a crush on someone, which happens quite a lot, doesn’t it?’
‘Well, not to me; at least not any more!’ he replied with a smile.
‘Then you agree. You love me properly, not just because of the way I look or anything like that. At first I didn’t understand why you loved me, but now I do: you love me because, because. . oh dear, I don’t quite know how to say it, but I can feel it deep down: I mean everything to you, don’t I? But when you gave me that fan last winter, the Bucchi fan, how much did you love me then? Go on, tell me!’
He listened indulgently to her ramblings and planted a kiss on the top of her head by way of an answer. Oh yes, she knew perfectly well that she could depend on him, that she could trust him completely, and that he would make her happy again whenever she was the least bit despondent. At length, feeling increasingly fatigued after the upheaval of the past hours, she fell silent, merely humming a little from time to time with her head resting against his knee, until she dozed off in the gathering dusk. He sat very still, gazing down at her, and for the first time since falling in love he felt a pinprick of something like doubt in his mind, doubt whether everything would turn out as he had imagined. A sense of wistfulness came over him as he kept his eyes fixed on her sleeping form, pondering the notion that however great one’s happiness, there was always a drop of bile in there somewhere, even if it only transpired from one’s private musings and fears.
XXI
Georges de Woude van Bergh was studying hard for his Vice-Consular examination, when one day Emilie called at the Verstraetens’. She had a long talk with Lili’s parents in private, which made Lili exceedingly nervous and tearful, so much so that Marie and Frédérique were at pains to console her. Emilie laughingly apologised for her unceremonious visit, explaining that her elderly father was ailing and never ventured out nowadays, which was why she had taken to managing all his affairs and had now come on his behalf in connection with his son’s wholly honourable pretensions. She herself was not entirely in agreement with Georges’ notions of the financial necessities of life, she had to admit, and she could very well imagine that Lili’s parents might have some reservations regarding the matter, but on the other hand Georges’ future looked decidedly promising. Besides, the pair of them seemed so headstrong and determined to enter a life together, in spite of everything, that it would be quite useless to try and talk them out of it! The question was, really, did the Verstraetens have any personal objection to him, or would they permit the two to wait until such time as they could get married and live together without too great a risk of starvation? Would Lili’s parents be able, when the time came, to part with their daughter? And if they were not opposed to Lili’s friendship with Georges, what would be the best way to proceed? A proper engagement, or just a union of hearts? It was regrettable that Georges and Lili had made themselves somewhat conspicuous, so that their mutual feelings were common knowledge in The Hague, but they were young and impetuous and would doubtless become more prudent in time. So the question was. . and Emilie reiterated her message in her genial, lively manner, but inwardly feeling a trifle anxious as to the reply.