Josh stops himself short from saying the word “die.” I understand why. He can’t. To say it would be to admit that Elusion can kill, and with Nora missing, he’s not ready to deal with that possibility.
I notice the sadness on Avery’s face, and it grinds our argument to a startling halt. Suddenly dancing in the dark corners of my mind is an image of Avery at school, playfully hipchecking a girl with a purple pixie cut as they walk through the quad together, laughing and carrying on. Then another recollection follows, and I see Avery with the same girl, holding hands and smiling at each other as they talk in front of the Traxx station near campus.
Not like they’re friends, but more like two girls in love.
As Avery’s eyes begin to well up with tears, it all makes perfect sense to me. The source of Avery’s anger is not much different from my own. We’ve both lost the people who matter most to us, people who are completely irreplaceable, and we’re doing everything in our power to figure out why.
When the tears break free and streak down her cheeks, the animosity I have for her starts to soften. Josh reaches out and gently rubs her arm, like he’s sorry for upsetting her. All this time, he’s known Avery is his sister’s girlfriend, but kept that detail from me out of respect for Avery’s privacy.
After clearing her throat a couple of times, Avery says, “Okay, let me get my tab.” Then she puts her sunglasses back on and rifles through her messenger bag. I lean toward Josh and place a comforting hand on his back, as if to subtly, albeit temporarily, surrender to Avery. He turns and winks at me—a sign of appreciation and familiarity that until now I’ve only had with one other guy.
“All right, here we go.” Avery brings out her tablet and slides her fingers quickly across the screen.
She spins around and lets us glance over her shoulder. Icons zip in every direction, almost making me dizzy. “First of all, you were right about the encryption. It’s a beast. Like CIA-grade stuff. I hooked the QuTap up to my dad’s best quantum, the one with the strongest analytic software, and it could only bust open a couple of them.”
“Shit,” Josh says.
“Just wait—the news gets better,” Avery adds. “The parse tree you guys found wasn’t programming code. That’s probably why you were able to decrypt it, and why you didn’t recognize it on sight, Josh.”
“Then what was it for?” I ask while readjusting my O2 shield so I can get more oxygen to my lungs. I’m becoming pretty short of breath, and there’s no question why.
“It’s actually a very detailed breakdown of a chemical substance. Sodium pentothal. Ever heard of it?” Avery presses an icon and a diagram of a molecular structure appears, spinning in circles on an invisible axis so that it can be viewed from all angles. The lines connecting the boxes are lit up in bright indigo and the letters are a deep shade of blood orange.
“Yes,” I reply, so quietly I’m not even sure they hear me. Then I reach over Avery and press a virtual button on the touch screen that allows us to zoom in on the diagram. “It’s a fast-acting anesthetic.”
Avery raises an eyebrow. “I’m impressed.”
“My mom’s a nurse. She used to talk a lot about work at the dinner table.”
“What does it do?” Josh asks.
“Sometimes it’s administered for C-sections. They used to give it to death-row prisoners, right before executions,” I say. “Very powerful stuff.”
“So what’s the connection with Elusion?” Josh’s voice is pinched with impatience.
Avery minimizes the diagram and taps on an icon that transforms itself into a brief corporate memo typed on company letterhead.
“There were a few ancillary files in the QuTap directory that I was able to bust open,” she says, her gaze shifting to me. From the strained look in her eyes, I can’t tell if she’s furious or concerned. Given how unpredictable Avery is, maybe it’s both. I’m a few seconds from finding out, and my stomach is churning so much I feel like I’m trapped on an old-fashioned dinghy in the middle of an ocean storm.
“Read it,” she says, passing the tab to me and stepping to the side so Josh can take a peek, too.
Confidential Memorandum
To: David Welch, Chief Product Designer
From: Bryce Williams, Senior Programmer
Subject: high responders / trypnosis
Prelim Analysis on v1 Elusion app and Equip have shown that in 8 out of 10 subject groups, adolescent users with highly responsive brain chemistry can be negatively affected by trypnosis due to their fast-growing synapses and sections of the brain that remain unconnected. (See chart 41B)
The result is oftentimes nanopsychosis, a neurological condition that can be transient or lasting, depending on the amount of exposure.
Symptoms can vary from user to user, fluctuate between mild and extreme, and can occur while inside the Escape or post-Aftershock. Inside the Escape, the most common phenomenon is false memories (visions projected from the user’s subconscious, consisting of people, places, or things) blending in with the programmed stimuli and what we call an “oasis-effect” (i.e., intoxicating hallucinations associated with the firewall). Behavioral changes have been seen in users after using Elusion as well, which can include impulsivity, obsessive-compulsiveness, and other signs of addiction. (See Index for complete listing.)
Nanopsychosis can also be linked to instability within the Elusion program software, leading to Escape disruptions and emotional confabulation. This is caused when the brain, wrongly coaxed into a “fight or flight” state, essentially overloads the configurations of the system by a sharp increase of the hormone cortisol.
As far as solutions are concerned, early studies have shown that sodium pentothal can both minimize these effects as well as intensify the pleasurable reactions for those who are not high responders.
Possible administration tactics could include topical application to the skin from inside the pressure points within the wristbands, which would be undetectable to users and perhaps even CIT testers. It’s inexpensive to procure as well, so it could be easily absorbed as an additional operating expense in our budget.
Please advise.
I nearly drop Avery’s tab to the ground. This memo from Bryce and all the damning evidence that’s in it was sent not to Patrick, but to my father.
He knew.
My dad knew Elusion could cause addiction. He knew that it could harm people, kids like me. He knew that it could make us see things that were never there, feel things that weren’t real, watch in terror as the magical world he created turned to dust, lie to the ones we love. And according to the date of the memo, he knew weeks before Elusion was submitted for CIT approval.
As my feet become anchors, threatening to bring me to my knees, I start to reject everything I just read. There is absolutely no way my father—the man who wanted to build a life of contributions, who wanted to give the beauty of our natural world back to us—could have known that Elusion had the potential to hurt anyone and then pushed ahead with its release. He wasn’t the type of man who would authorize drugging people in order to cover up his mistakes, either.